Lost my mind! Please take time to read

[Wimmas]

Hi!

Awesome forum with a lot of helpful info and advice!

I've previously posted in the HIV prevention section and was told that I had a NO RISK exposure which set my mind at ease for about five minutes.

Today it's been 30 post exposure and I haven't had a life for the past 30 days as well. I have been suffering from the most severe anxiety/stress in my life. Please take time to read my story:

30 days ago I had protected oral and vaginal intercourse with a CSW who told me she was clean (Obviously they all tell you that). The morning of the same day we had intercourse I shaved and accidentaly cut myself with the razor in the middle of my scrotum which immediately started burning and bleeding. After a while it stopped bleeding and felt better. Approximately 7 hours later is when we had intercourse and obviously the damaged part on my scrotum had not been covered but I knew about this and while having intercourse (which lasted probably 10 minutes) I tried to do it in such a way that the damaged part wouldn't touch her vagina. Another problem is after she gave me protected oral she put on another condom (double bagging), which at that time I didn't know was a stupid idea, but when I ejaculated and withdrew I saw that the condoms hadn't broken and the semen was where it was supposed to be.

I don't know why the heck I made the stupid descision to ever have intercourse with someone I don't know and I'm suffering from severe guilt. I feel like I've betrayed myself, God and my family.

Anyway - I'm a student and varsity hasn't begun yet so all day I sit at home thinking about possible STDs and the risk of HIV that I might have contracted. I haven't really had symptoms that I can say I REALLY think is HIV/STD related. Though I have had a lot of unhealthy symptoms, which I hope is stress related such as mild diarhea about three times since then, slight lower abdominal pain a few times but nothing unbearable, nausea, loss of appetite, throat/back of tongue feels swollen and irretated and sometimes my tongue feels irretated/prickly and my lips burn when I put on lip-ice, mild acne break outs etc. There were a few days when I would be in a happy mood for some reason and there would be no symptoms of anything. I haven't had any funny things happening in my genital area such as bumps/lumps/burning sensation/discharge or whatever. My genital area looks and feels normal although the past two days my epidiymis in my left testical has been sensitive when touching it and often when walking or sleeping in certain positions and sometimes a redness would occur on the testical but dissappear after a few minutes. And the feeling that the back of my tongue is swollen has been coming a long way now without going away, it is also white with red spots inbetween the white, feels kind of irretated but also not unbearable. It might be because I have a small problem breathing through my nose and breath mostly through my mouth. But it has caught my attention lately. Headaches also come and go every now and then, but are also not severe or unbearable and don't last long

I am also a physically active person and excersise often. I can also not go to a doctor as I'm still under my parents medical aid and I don't want to tell them about the incident as it would deeply hurt and dissapoint them and I also don't have the money to pay a private GP for any testing.

I haven't gone for any testing and I'll wait for the three month period to pass. I'm feeling very depressed, mixed emotions etc every single day of my life. It's all I think about day and night, even the first thought upon awakening. I feel like my life has come to a dead end!

What should I do?

[Wimmas]

Thanks a million guys! These forums really puts one mind at ease. I treally need to stop stressing as it is killing me mentaly and physically. Varsity starts soon so hopefully then I would be able to keep my mind busy with other things.

Will definately take a rapid test at six weeks and update on the results.

Thanks again, I appreciate it!

[NickOne7]

First off you had NO RISK - So testing is not needed.

You can test using the HIV rapid tests at 6 weeks for a conclusive result from this exposure. And if it is a 4th gen test it will be conclusive at 4 weeks.

Hope this helps

[Wimmas]

Thansk! Problem is that I live in South Africa where things aren't so advanced. Clinics here do free testing but it's rapid testing.

[joggen]

"What should I do?"

Since it's been 30 days you can have a 4th generation test (antibody + antigen) test RIGHT NOW and it will be conclusive. Call clinics in your area and ask if they offer the DUO test, which was recently approved in the US. The DUO is virtually 100% accurate at 28 days or later. The test will be negative and will confirm that you didn't catch HIV.