Hi everyone,
I am extremely stress and looking for some help.First of all apologies for long post.Please evaluate my conditions/symptoms with honest openions.
Incident one:-
Starting this january on attempt to celebrate a new year i had protected vaginal and oral sex(I used a condom and it did not slip or break).Soon after that incident i had various thoughts running in my head that i could be positive(It was my first sexual encounter)I went through the night mare everyday and was praying to god for forgiveness and for helping me from being HIV +ve.I have been having OCD for about 3-4 years for now.So i was having various irrational thoughts about being affected/transmisson of HIV.But all those thoughts were put to rest with 5 consecutive negative tests(4,8,12,14,17/weeks).Last test was exactly 120 days after exposure.All we advanced HIV duo test(test which tests both antigen & antobody)done at best hospitals where i live.I even had a immune system test after 70 days of exposure(IGI,IGM,etc).The docter said i have a normal/Healthy immune system.i am not a regular smoker/drinker and i dont do drugs and nor i dont take any serious medications like chemo/organ transplant.I was about to relax from these stressfull hiv phobia days and there happened another incident.
Incident two:-
As i told i had last test of 120 days after exposure from incident one.This test has triggered an another phobia.As i went in for my last hiv test(120 days test/5th hiv test at 17 th week)i was poked with syringe three times.The first & second time the nurse found the vein but unable to find the blood in my vein.The third time she was able to find the blood and draw the blood for the test.All the three times she used a new syringe(freshly wrapped from plastic covers in front of my eyes).But during the second time after taking the syringe out of my vein there was a blood popped out(only one drop)of the syringe punture mark.I told the nurse abt this.She immediately took a cotton from the table(the cotton which was used for me before inserting the second syringe in my vein,where she took some solution from the bottle and rubbed on my skin to find the vein)pressed on the syringe punture mark to stop the blood getting out of the mark.She holded for nearly 50 secs.
After this incident i was having all the ocd thoughts about this blood drawing procedure(which i usually have after all blood drawing incidents) doubting any chance of getting infected by that procedure.I Repeated the entire incident in my mind again & again and i find there is no fault.The nurse has done exactly what she needs to do.She followed the rules perfectly and this is the way that everyone in this world is drawing blood so far.
All was fine until a thought hitted my mind about the cotton ball.I did notice the usage of new syringe and the usage of the new cotton ball.But i did not notice the table(where i had my hand placed for drawing the blood).There
was this thought like what if there was blood from the previous user who had
drawn before me.What if he had splitted one/two drop of blood during that process in the table and it went unnoticed.And what if the nurse had not cleaned the table(in know they will clean after every user but suppose if they forgot to clean in my case)& kept the cotton ball(the ball which used on me for rubbing the solution before drawing blood) on that blood drop of the pervious user and used the same cotton ball on my syringe puncture mark where i had that one drop of blood pop up from the syringe puncture mark.I also noticed that there was only one minute(approx)between me and that previous user and we used the same table.This thought scared the hell out of me and i was realy stressed out.i thought i was free from that incident one but again this another incident took place.
So i again searched the internet about HIV transmisson via Cotton ball(i have not searched like this before)and could not found any evidence of it.I even asked my GP of this incident and he said there is no way this could happen.he said the solution they pour before taking blood on cotton ball kills all bacteria/viruses instantly.So i concluded that it was all my OCD thought and decided to move on with my life.
All was well but suddenly my world came upside down.Just 14 days from that blood drawing incident from cotton ball i came down with illness and there after till now i am at loss of words.(the ARS time frame matches exactly 2-4).
I cant belive what is happening to me.I was never realy ill for the last 4-5 years i remember.I am thinking about both Incident one & incident two now.But its extremely unlikely to get infected in both ways as i tested 120 after incident one(which was negative and i had normal/healthy immune system)and incident two(getting infected through a cotton wool during testing for HIV).But what causes these symptoms????I am really scared to hell now as i finally decided to post this and ask for some help.Below are the symptoms i faced/Facing till now explained clearly....