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Fear of Testing
Hi All, back at the end of November I met a girl in a club and subsequently went home with her. I was quite drunk so my memory of the night wasn't perfect. I believe the first time we were going to have sex I had a condom but don't think I could manage an erection due to being drunk but I did perform oral on her. In the morning we had fully protected sex with a condom and I fingered her a fair bit.
Following the event I had the following symptoms:
Day 1 - Mild abdominal pain which felt like I had done a workout. Possibly down to the effort and straining during sex.
Day 2 - Sore throat which came on in the mornings and evenings but was barely present during the day. This lasted for 2 weeks. Both these things led me to wanting to get tested for STD's as I realised upon searching online that you could get oral STD's. I couldn't attend the clinc for 10 days due to work commitments.
Day 9 - The night before I was going to go to the clinic I vomited a couple times just before going to sleep. Before that I had felt totally fine other than the sore throat. (I work somewhere where lots of people regularly come into contact and there was a bug going round at the time)
* Attended clinic on day 10 and got a full STD check, including HIV (far too soon I know but it was on offer so I just did it)*
Day 14 - Wattery diarrhea for two days (3 at the most), over the weekend that I was waiting for the results from the clinic. I also attended a party that night and drank a few pints of beer which cannot have helped. This is when I first questioned whether it could be HIV infection after searching for what my sore throat and diarrhea combination could be.
* On day 16 all results from the clinic came back negative*
Those results eased my fears a little bit and the sore throat disappeared shortly after that. Then I returned home to my family for Christmas for two weeks and had no symptoms at all, not thinking even once about the event or anything.
After Christmas and when I was back at work I began to get lose stools and very frequent urination. It didn't feel normal and I started searching more and more about HIV. The searching and constantly relating symptoms to possibly HIV has been going on since then which was the start of January. The main thing I've noticed is the loose stools, or they're softer than usual, and there's occasionally been pain in the bottom left of my abdomen. They've varied quite a bit and when I don't think about it I don't notice anything really. I started to feel quite optimistic until I developed what seems slightly like oral thrush. White patches at the back of my tongue, a burning or burnt tongue feeling and englarged red spots around there too. When I first found this I felt quite depressed and even more scared. I've read on some sites it can be from stress and anxiety which would make a lot of sense but at the same time some places say it can be the first sign of HIV.
Based on what I've read, one time heterosexual exposures rarely lead to infection and the girl was 18, just starting university so shouldn't be positive herself! She did tell me she was on the pill though, as a reason not to use a condom, so that has ignited my fears - that she says this to everyone! I also know that the risk from cunnilingus is very, very low, or not even a risk to some people but my gums aren't in the best shape and she could have easily had a very high viral load and not known she was infected. Could this lead to infection?
I'd basically just like some advice and support. If someone else was positing this I would judge their odds to be very slim but since the start of the new year I've just made myself more and more scared to get tested in the fear that it may be positive. I constantly question whether we actually had unprotected sex and I can't remember it or if the conditions the oral took place in were perfect for transmission. But at the same time I've mostly felt ok and at no point had a fever, rash, night sweats or anything like the proper flu.
Following the event I had the following symptoms:
Day 1 - Mild abdominal pain which felt like I had done a workout. Possibly down to the effort and straining during sex.
Day 2 - Sore throat which came on in the mornings and evenings but was barely present during the day. This lasted for 2 weeks. Both these things led me to wanting to get tested for STD's as I realised upon searching online that you could get oral STD's. I couldn't attend the clinc for 10 days due to work commitments.
Day 9 - The night before I was going to go to the clinic I vomited a couple times just before going to sleep. Before that I had felt totally fine other than the sore throat. (I work somewhere where lots of people regularly come into contact and there was a bug going round at the time)
* Attended clinic on day 10 and got a full STD check, including HIV (far too soon I know but it was on offer so I just did it)*
Day 14 - Wattery diarrhea for two days (3 at the most), over the weekend that I was waiting for the results from the clinic. I also attended a party that night and drank a few pints of beer which cannot have helped. This is when I first questioned whether it could be HIV infection after searching for what my sore throat and diarrhea combination could be.
* On day 16 all results from the clinic came back negative*
Those results eased my fears a little bit and the sore throat disappeared shortly after that. Then I returned home to my family for Christmas for two weeks and had no symptoms at all, not thinking even once about the event or anything.
After Christmas and when I was back at work I began to get lose stools and very frequent urination. It didn't feel normal and I started searching more and more about HIV. The searching and constantly relating symptoms to possibly HIV has been going on since then which was the start of January. The main thing I've noticed is the loose stools, or they're softer than usual, and there's occasionally been pain in the bottom left of my abdomen. They've varied quite a bit and when I don't think about it I don't notice anything really. I started to feel quite optimistic until I developed what seems slightly like oral thrush. White patches at the back of my tongue, a burning or burnt tongue feeling and englarged red spots around there too. When I first found this I felt quite depressed and even more scared. I've read on some sites it can be from stress and anxiety which would make a lot of sense but at the same time some places say it can be the first sign of HIV.
Based on what I've read, one time heterosexual exposures rarely lead to infection and the girl was 18, just starting university so shouldn't be positive herself! She did tell me she was on the pill though, as a reason not to use a condom, so that has ignited my fears - that she says this to everyone! I also know that the risk from cunnilingus is very, very low, or not even a risk to some people but my gums aren't in the best shape and she could have easily had a very high viral load and not known she was infected. Could this lead to infection?
I'd basically just like some advice and support. If someone else was positing this I would judge their odds to be very slim but since the start of the new year I've just made myself more and more scared to get tested in the fear that it may be positive. I constantly question whether we actually had unprotected sex and I can't remember it or if the conditions the oral took place in were perfect for transmission. But at the same time I've mostly felt ok and at no point had a fever, rash, night sweats or anything like the proper flu.
Thank you for the advice, CurfewX. It is quite reassuring just reading your replies.
I feel like I should test to know my status for definite and to certainly ease my concerns but I think the fear of it being positive will always be there. The vomiting and diarrhea are really what worried me despite the low risk, both the timing of that and then the symptoms I've had since then. I did see Dr Handsfield say once that vomiting and diarrhea weren't symptoms of ARS which reassured me slightly but again, other places say differently.
Then on the other hand this was very low risk, even in the worst case scenario like alderick84 said and the fact I've had no fever, rash, weight loss, night sweats or anything really associated with the major symptoms makes me feel positive. It depends which way I look at it in my head really!
I feel like I should test to know my status for definite and to certainly ease my concerns but I think the fear of it being positive will always be there. The vomiting and diarrhea are really what worried me despite the low risk, both the timing of that and then the symptoms I've had since then. I did see Dr Handsfield say once that vomiting and diarrhea weren't symptoms of ARS which reassured me slightly but again, other places say differently.
Then on the other hand this was very low risk, even in the worst case scenario like alderick84 said and the fact I've had no fever, rash, weight loss, night sweats or anything really associated with the major symptoms makes me feel positive. It depends which way I look at it in my head really!
Thank you both for your very prompt replies and information, I really appreciate them.
Does the state of my gums & the potential high viral load not produce a risk via oral? If it hasn't happened to anyone how come this is stated as a potential route of infection in some places? They aren't terrible but they have bled in the past when I brush them and go through stages of being good & bad.
I don't believe we did have unprotected sex as I've never done this before in my life and would always use a condom no matter what. Also, the couple days after this I was only really looking into oral STD's and not normal due to the fact I didn't think we had unprotected sex. I have the girl on social media but feel awkward about raising any questions about HIV.
Does the state of my gums & the potential high viral load not produce a risk via oral? If it hasn't happened to anyone how come this is stated as a potential route of infection in some places? They aren't terrible but they have bled in the past when I brush them and go through stages of being good & bad.
I don't believe we did have unprotected sex as I've never done this before in my life and would always use a condom no matter what. Also, the couple days after this I was only really looking into oral STD's and not normal due to the fact I didn't think we had unprotected sex. I have the girl on social media but feel awkward about raising any questions about HIV.
1 Comments
Some sites and organizations are very conservative. They're stating theoretical risks - just as, theoretically, you could be trampled by a herd of elephants, you could get HIV via oral sex.
Testing is up to you. If you fear you may have had unprotected vaginal sex, then a test would likely help your state of mind. It will almost certainly be negative. Since this happened over 3 months ago, any test you would take right now would be 100% conclusive.
Testing is up to you. If you fear you may have had unprotected vaginal sex, then a test would likely help your state of mind. It will almost certainly be negative. Since this happened over 3 months ago, any test you would take right now would be 100% conclusive.
Hello, nobody has gotten HIV by giving or receiving oral sex or masturbation, you have nothing to be afraid for those. However oral sex carries a small risk for other STDs, you could ask in the STDs forum.
You don't remember if you had un protected sex, that makes a little difficult to assess your risk. If you didn't, your risk would be zero, if you did, you would have some risk and requiere testing.
About your symptoms, ARS is the first stage of an HIV infection, is the body’s reaction to the infection. Some HIV positive people, but not all of them, reported that around 20 days after their exposure they had fever, sore throat, rash and flu (not cold) like symptoms, all of those came together, or within a few days of difference and lasted for a few weeks. As you see, the same symptoms are present in many other illnesses and not everyone had them, so, we can’t rely on them to diagnose HIV. However what your describe doesn't sound like ARS.
If you or the girl can't remember if you had unprotected sex or not, testing would be the way to go. I'm the worst case scenario your risk would be around 1 in 2000.
About testing, third and fourth gen Elisa tests are among the most common ones nowadays, according to CDC, any HIV test is conclusive if taken 12 weeks after an exposure, but you can take them before that, 3rd gen will give you an excellent indicator about your status around 6 - 8 weeks after exposure and 4th gen 4 - 6 weeks after exposure. A result given in those times is very unlike to change, but only a doctor, based on your risk level and his experience could advice you to skip the confirmatory test after 12 weeks post exposure.
Hope this helps.
You don't remember if you had un protected sex, that makes a little difficult to assess your risk. If you didn't, your risk would be zero, if you did, you would have some risk and requiere testing.
About your symptoms, ARS is the first stage of an HIV infection, is the body’s reaction to the infection. Some HIV positive people, but not all of them, reported that around 20 days after their exposure they had fever, sore throat, rash and flu (not cold) like symptoms, all of those came together, or within a few days of difference and lasted for a few weeks. As you see, the same symptoms are present in many other illnesses and not everyone had them, so, we can’t rely on them to diagnose HIV. However what your describe doesn't sound like ARS.
If you or the girl can't remember if you had unprotected sex or not, testing would be the way to go. I'm the worst case scenario your risk would be around 1 in 2000.
About testing, third and fourth gen Elisa tests are among the most common ones nowadays, according to CDC, any HIV test is conclusive if taken 12 weeks after an exposure, but you can take them before that, 3rd gen will give you an excellent indicator about your status around 6 - 8 weeks after exposure and 4th gen 4 - 6 weeks after exposure. A result given in those times is very unlike to change, but only a doctor, based on your risk level and his experience could advice you to skip the confirmatory test after 12 weeks post exposure.
Hope this helps.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Fingering and giving oral sex are no risk. You stated you used a condom for penetrative sex - that is also NO RISK. Whatever symptoms you're having aren't due to HIV if you had protected sex.
However, no one here was there and knows what happened. If you aren't sure if you used a condom, have a DUO test 28 days post-exposure and you'll have a conclusive result.
However, no one here was there and knows what happened. If you aren't sure if you used a condom, have a DUO test 28 days post-exposure and you'll have a conclusive result.
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