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HIV Anxiety
This is not a question, indeed this is probably the wrong place to post this but i just thought i would say this to those of you suffering from guilt and anxiety related to hiv.
I am a 17 year old gay male who, 12 months ago, was pretty clueless as to the risks of most sexually transmited diseases. On a rebound i had unprotected sex with a guy who i did not know and who proceeded to completely dissapear under the radar, never replying texts or msn etc...
Shortly after, i watched a film in which aids plays an important part in the plot (angels in america) and completely convinced myself that i had HIV. I read just about every single forum, convinced myself of flu symptoms, felt every single part of my body for glands, had an allergic reaction to some washing powder but completely convinced myself that it was an HIV rash. I did not speak to anybody about it as was too scared to tell anybody, including friends and family. I lost 4 stone in weight because i stopped eating through nerves and anxiety and did extremely badly in exams. I developed OCD traits 'if you dont do that in a certain way the test will show up positive etc...', i also went into a severe depression and considered suicide. All this because i was too scared to get tested.
Today, 7 months later, i have received my test result, which was negative for HIV. I have spent a year of my life in the worst emotional trauma, completely desensitised myself to HIV, i can't even watch scrubs.
All this to say that if you are anxious about your health, the best thing you can possibly to is to get tested. Every single medical website has thousands of people asking for HIV rash descriptions and HIV symptoms. Just get checked out because the chances are that you will be fine, like me.
I am a 17 year old gay male who, 12 months ago, was pretty clueless as to the risks of most sexually transmited diseases. On a rebound i had unprotected sex with a guy who i did not know and who proceeded to completely dissapear under the radar, never replying texts or msn etc...
Shortly after, i watched a film in which aids plays an important part in the plot (angels in america) and completely convinced myself that i had HIV. I read just about every single forum, convinced myself of flu symptoms, felt every single part of my body for glands, had an allergic reaction to some washing powder but completely convinced myself that it was an HIV rash. I did not speak to anybody about it as was too scared to tell anybody, including friends and family. I lost 4 stone in weight because i stopped eating through nerves and anxiety and did extremely badly in exams. I developed OCD traits 'if you dont do that in a certain way the test will show up positive etc...', i also went into a severe depression and considered suicide. All this because i was too scared to get tested.
Today, 7 months later, i have received my test result, which was negative for HIV. I have spent a year of my life in the worst emotional trauma, completely desensitised myself to HIV, i can't even watch scrubs.
All this to say that if you are anxious about your health, the best thing you can possibly to is to get tested. Every single medical website has thousands of people asking for HIV rash descriptions and HIV symptoms. Just get checked out because the chances are that you will be fine, like me.
thankyou so much mate :) x
thanks for writing about your experiencing..im so glad your test results came back negative...im sending you a big hug brother and all the good luck in the world.
thelivingdead : you are okay . just get your result after 3 months and it's negative trust me !
you can imagin how confortable i was in my bed last night after I get my negative results .. I promised myself I wont join any sexual encounter again ever!
you can imagin how confortable i was in my bed last night after I get my negative results .. I promised myself I wont join any sexual encounter again ever!
yeah, its because anything to do with medicine gets your mind focused onto the topic, i used to avoid it completely.
thelivingdead: i really hope your result goes well, but either way, its much scarier not knowing... today combination therapy can keep you healthy for so long as long as you play your part too... but i really do cross my fingers for you..
thelivingdead: i really hope your result goes well, but either way, its much scarier not knowing... today combination therapy can keep you healthy for so long as long as you play your part too... but i really do cross my fingers for you..
Same here .. I used to like Scrubs but now I even avoid watching that lovely TV show dunno why :S
Thank you for your encouraging words. I plan to do just that in about 10-15 days. That will be my 90 days. The way I've been feeling, if I have HIV, it has to rear its ugly head. Ive always asked God for a miracle. Its gonna take one...
Always use condoms for intercourse from now on.
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