it's complicated, but I'm looking for support

[fitnessguy1]

hello all,

I was concerned about a possible hiv exposure early in June.. background, I do intense natural* bodybuilding twice a day, commute very far, work hard too, and I've had incredible stress and many sleepless nights.. that being said, i got sick the night of with stomach virus, im sure unrelated, but approx 2 or so weeks i had horrible symptoms, very low temp especially at night (96), sweats, rash, random bruising and cuts/holes opening on my body, low urine production, constipation, loose movements-but after protein shakes so..then jaw pain, dry cough, runny nose, partially coated tongue, cognitive and muscular control issues.. many others.. now I've had several tests completed:  hiv1 RNA at 13 days, p24 antigen/antibody including type O at 2.5 & 3.5 weeks.. then at a day prior to 4 weeks did HIV 1 RNA PCR, HIV 2 RNA, all other STD, at nearly 6 weeks did a rapid antibody test.. all results are negative with exception of one vaccine related antibody to Hep B, even the dna and other antigen antibody were not present. however.. at week 4, my CD4 was only 528... I know that number can vary, but considering how sick i was, stress, without all the sleep.. I know this could be many things but naturally, I am upset.. I am seeking more care and will retest throughout the year.. but do you have any suggestions or opinions on my current state.. I still feel colder  than normal and twitchy, some flem.. but i know anxiety, cold... etc could be culprit.. opinons? Help?

thank you in advance

[AnxiousNoMore]

Did you post here back in June and if so what was the name? You said you were concerned in June.

[fitnessguy1]

Nope. This is my first time posting. I'm sure many posts look similar, at times.

[AnxiousNoMore]

When was the exposure, was it oral, anal or vaginal and did you use a condom?

[fitnessguy1]

i wanted to clarify, the getting sick initially only lasted maybe 5 days while i continued to lift.. the anxiety started when almost a week after sex, the person i thought was clean said some type of sick story almost guilt trip not owning up to hiv infection.. i got the acute infection like- symptoms at around 2ish weeks, then the sleepless nights started.. i could use input, any and all.. even someone to talk to who is positive or negative for support. thanks..

[AnxiousNoMore]

Can you answer the questions?

[fitnessguy1]

oh sorry.. didnt see your previous comment.. possible exposure was june 5th.. i did nothing to her besides some kissing, i had received brief unprotected oral, then protected oral.. following that i used a condom for vaginal only sex.. however, it turned out she was on her menstrual cycle.. i got nervous and stopped. i safely changed condoms, she actually used her mouth to put on the next one.. i dismissed it at the time.. but her mouth was rough in its use.. I eventually took off condom only to rub it against her back, not in her or on any fluids.. I washed with soap and water after, urinated too. i inspected the two condoms after, one of them looked slightly wrinkled at the reservoir tip, didnt seem torn.. but i should have probably inspected further, i feel like an idiot

[AnxiousNoMore]

No reason to feel like an idiot since you didn't do anything that was a risk for HIV. Since you had no risk your tests were a waste of time - which is a good thing.  You didn't do any of the ONLY 3 risks listed below.
HIV is instantly inactivated in air and also in saliva which means it is effectively dead so it can't infect from touching, external rubbing or oral activities. It doesn't matter if you and they were actively bleeding or had cuts at the time either because the HIV is effectively dead.

Only 3 adult risks are the following:
1. unprotected penetrating vaginal
2. unprotected penetrating anal sex
3. sharing needles that you inject with. Knowing these 3 are all you need to know to protect yourself against HIV. Your situation is a long way from any of these 3.
Even with blood, lactation, cuts, rashes, burns, etc the air or the saliva does not allow inactivated virus to infect from touching, external rubbing or oral activities. The above HIV science is 40 years old and very well established so there is no detail that you can add that will make any of your encounter a risk for HIV.  No one in 40 years of HIV history got HIV from the situation you are concerned about so it is unlikely that it will happen in the next 40 of your lifetime either.
It seems you self diagnosed a bunch of symptoms but they are likely in your imagination from fear. Time to move on from HIV.

[fitnessguy1]

thank you sir.. i appreciate that.. and everything..  you are probably right. I still have terrible swelling though, ive taken pictures of everything.. just worrying about that biting motion she made on the condom and possible tear.. scary, also thinking about me shaving night before.. I know those are technicalities, but getting so sick like that.. well.. ive never experienced something so frightening.. the infectious disease specialist im seeing is concerned... but i hope you're 100% right and i hope i feel like i did before this and my 528 CD4 hahah

[AnxiousNoMore]

Those are not technicalities, they are irrelevancies. Reread about the 3 and "no detail".
"the specialist is concerned" is vague, but I assume he is concerned about non-HIV possibilities. I hope he can figure it out for you.

[fitnessguy1]

Okay, i will go through those. I mean, yes, i suppose it could be so many things, from normal for me, to stress/colds, different immune issue. thanks for your time, input and support. I will follow my GP and ID specialist testing and advice for further healthcare. I hope the best for you and all. Also, i think its wonderful how you help so many on here. I will continue my night in the most upbeat way possible. I hope you do the same.

Regards