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Avatar universal

Risk for HIV

Background: I got tested for HIV and other STDs in March 2010 and it came back negative for all of them.  In early April, I received unprotected Oral Sex from a unknown woman that I met in a club (no vaginal sex).  One and a half weeks later, I got the fever, headache, and itchiness (related to prodome) that eventually led to itchy spots on my genitals (aka Herpes).   I have not had a known breakout since and have been vigorously taking daily medication, lysine, and non-arginine based foods (intense daily treatment).

Since then, I have had sex with two sex-workers and they were fairly recent.  I used condoms both times for both oral and vaginal sex. Furthermore, I only had vaginal penetration for maybe 3 minutes with one (resorted back to oral with condom).
--- I used a condom for the second woman (Korean - or at least that's what she said) in a massage brothel and penetrated for 7 to 10 minutes and had one slight slippage.  About 3 weeks after the second woman, I got weird symptoms.  Basically, I had slight fevers that would appear for a few hours and disappear for the a few hours.  Got some slight headaches, but nothing to the point where I felt it was necessary to even take medication or see a Doctor.
Symptoms occurred for a week.
--- I left to travel (and still traveling).  After a month, I started to feel pain near the right edge of my groin area where the hip bone meets the thighs when ejaculating (during masturbation).  The area is relatively far away from my penis and the pain goes away right after I finish.   This happened about 6 times then just went away.  It was fine for a month but I recently had it happen again (though it went away).  I have also had protected sexual relations with 2 other woman (not sex workers) who consented with the info about my HSV.  No pain occurred during ejaculation.

Do you think these symptoms are related to HIV?  Am I just feeling anxiety over nothing?  I have to wait another month to see a Doctor and plan to get tested anyways.  Do you think my anxiety is justified especially given that pain?  
18 Responses
Avatar universal
You've never had a risk of contracting HIV.
Avatar universal
Even with the slight slippage?  I mean the condom only fell out when I withdrew but I immediately put it back on.  But thanks for the comments.  At least one person makes me feel a bit better about it.
1563685 tn?1310402354
Did you enter your penis when it was uncovered into the vagina?
Avatar universal
i dont believe so.  think i was safe.  just had a new scare very recently.  see sampiper post. really scared.
1563685 tn?1310402354
If you didn't share needle, do unprotected anal or vaginal sex, or wasn't born to HIV+ mother, then you didn't have a risk. The risk included when your condom broke as your penis was inside the genital of your partner.

If your cases didn't belong to the above situations, then you're clear from HIV, no matter what your symptoms are. Believe me there are tons like you here, I mean whose who are HIV- yet have symptoms perhaps because of their HIV phobia or another cause.
1563685 tn?1310402354
Sorry, it should have been "If you cases BELONGED to the above situations"
Avatar universal
Alright, I will post here since I do want help here.  

Even more recently (12 days ago), I had sex with an Asian sex worker (in a country with an extremely low HIV rate prevalence).  This time it seemed like she wasn't using a condom.  So I stopped her before she entered me.  I asked her to put a condom on me since I would never dream of having sex with anyone I didn't know and trust without a condom.  She assured me that she was using a female condom.  The sex seemed rather natural which scared me and have been feeling HIV anxiety since the episode.  I have beeen extremely stressed and have been thinking of nothing else.

One week later (5 days ago), I started to feel some pain in outer groin area.  It felt like sharp pain then would subside in moments.  It would occur several times a day.  This went away two days ago.  Furthermore (5 days ago), I started to feel very fatigued during the day even when I drank coffee.  I would only feel energy at night (though not much).  Still feel fatigued. Yesterday, I developed some pain on the side of my neck.  Similar sharp pain that would appear and then disappear.  This still occurs.  This afternoon, I took a nap after a heavy meal.  I woke up in a couple hours and had sweating occur (night sweats?)/subsequent chills.

I want to get tested immediately but probably need to wait a month or so for a reliable result.  
Avatar universal
Had she been using a female condom you would have known.
Avatar universal
Thanks Ricky - I guess the above episode was based on anxiety and some weird symptoms.  However, this new episode is a real scare to me and honestly don't know if I can categorize it as the same.
Avatar universal
Can you feel it if she was using a female condom?  It felt very natural and she seemed to be rubbing lubricant on me before entering me though I couldn't tell since she was blocking me.  Right before she started foreplay and entering me, she went outside of the room (it was a massage parlor type place) and came back.

If this does not sound right, this sounds like unprotected sex which makes me feel even worse than I feel at the moment.    
1563685 tn?1310402354
Have you tried to get reassurance from her? Maybe you could go there and ask if she really has female condoms. If yes, then you can be sure it was real and you had no risk. Otherwise, go test 3 months post-exposure.
Avatar universal
You can feel it and see it. The outer ring is on the outside of the vagina.
Avatar universal
You know I have been entertaining that thought all week.  If I have no plans tomorrow, I think I'll have a visit to that massage parlor.  I don't know if they would allow me to talk to her but I would even pay a small fee to do so.

Teak - it was really dark so i couldn't see it.  The penetration felt so natural so that's why I've been having this anxiety.

Guys - I know testing is the only answer but do those symptoms mirror early HIV symptom experiences?  
Avatar universal
I guess my symptoms are light but it still could be HIV.  I don't know.  I have been having so many different thoughts lately and trying to think of how to deal with something that I feel is inevitable.  Nevertheless, my anxiety and stress is to the point where I am not even enjoying my travels and can't think of anything else.  I feel this pain in my heart every time I see a woman since I feel like I will never get to love again.  

At this point (and I know this may be unfair to those who have HIV), I have resorted to the fact that I have HIV and am researching support groups (not posting til it's positive)/life plans (my ethnicity shuns HIV pos. people as it is completely misunderstood - which i hate even if i test negative - so ignorant) so i might need relocation)/possible relationship/dating options.

We'll see.  I guess 3 months (May) is the best time to get tested?  I hope and pray for the miracle.  
1563685 tn?1310402354
If you really couldn't see it, then I would suggest you go check at 3 months post exposure just as a precaution. But the next time, check carefully so that you can know whether you'll have risk.

A test will tell if you really have HIV, not symptoms.
Avatar universal
Thanks Ricky - yeah I've sworn off sex workers.  This has been too much of an ordeal.  Unfortunately, this may have been the last straw.  I may be somewhat of a hypochondriac but the symptoms just seem too similar to what the websites state (and I can't see how it is anything else).  The only thing that is keeping me from being in total despair is the fact that I have yet to have a fever or rash (which websites say is the most common).

But yeah - I will certainly have that test done.
1563685 tn?1310402354
I won't discourage having sex. I just encourage you to wear condom if you can't hold your sex drive, and to make sure it's correctly attached.

Symptoms can be from another cause, or by fear alone. There are just too many cases like that even here in the forum.
Avatar universal
Thanks for the words of encouragement.  I needed it.  I've never crossed my fingers so hard and can't wait til I get a chance to get tested (not in a good way).
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