To Everyone: An Apology

[dobber21]

Hi guys and gals,
I just want to apologise for my post last Friday http://www.medhelp.org/forums/HIVSupport/messages/1388.html

It's just I'm absolutely terrified myself; big painless lumps in my neck, intermittent rash, headaches, even though I know that symptoms mean nothing. I alternate between being worried about having infected the girl I slep with And I try to  help with people's problems here, but it rarely seems to work.

I was also angry at myself for spending too much time on here!

I just wish a lot of you guys who haven't had risks could just let it be and get on with your lives. There is nothing more soul destroying than worrying about HIV, especially when the risk is protected sex, insertive oral, kissing, toilet seats (on and on and on!) But then again, if reassurance helps, even for a small while, I'll try and post when I can.

Sorry for my petulance!:)

[mike_no]

thanks bro. Jesus, I wanna cry out loud but dont have a shoulder .....not to worry i wont cry, big boys dont cry.......lol any ways you have been so helpful to me, god bless you friend. I think you're right it'd better be in the secret books of my life

[dobber21]

I'm just really hoping her results are negative! I think she'll have them Wednesday.
Ah even if she isn't it's still a long shot that I'm infected.
I really need a coffee!
But thanks for your reassurance:)

[dobber21]

Cardiff??
A bad weekend for the Welsh, the Italians will be all fired up for their match with us next week!
Hope you're having a good one:)

[dobber21]

Cheers.
By the way, I see you're still worrying.
Stop worrying!
You'll be fine:)

[dobber21]

Sharing it relieves your own guilt, but it also transfers the associated worries to the other person.

That's why it's wrong to tell. I came clean and it nearly ruined the best thing in both our lives. It also made my partner worry when there was nothing to worry about. And believe me, neither of you guys have nothing to worry about. Nothing.

Now that's the objective part. Personally, I think humans treat each other badly in many, many other ways, and that being unfaithful is at the low end of the scale. I know guys who have never strayed, but that beat the **** out their partners, or make it their business to shatter their self-confidence. I know girls who have ruined their partner's lives by being possessive, selfish and manipulating, but have never strayed.

There's too much emphasis placed on fidelity. We're not even programmed for it as a species!

I'm not condoning it. It's just I know a lot of moral high ground marties who never cheat but ruin their spouse's lives. I hate myself for what I've done, but I'm sure as hell not going to transfer my own failings onto my partner.

And neither should you Mike!:)

[mike_no]

So true.