You are conclusively safe, move on and do remember, never ever unprotected contact with anyone outside your mutually committed monogamous long term relationship. Some time you don't get a second chance.
Just forget about "pen" issue, nobody contracted HIV this way, you are safe and clear. Play safe, stay healthy
no doc here but click on the expert forum and spend 15 dollars if you want but you will be wasting your money as their is no way you could of contracted hiv in the manner you described
There is no doctor in this forum.
HOWEVER... You are HIV negative. Go see a therapist if you can't move on.
this is not the doctor's forum...sorry :(
i can tell you though, that yes, you are overreacting. a test done after 4 months is totally conclusive and proves that you do not have hiv.