Aa
I have a question about my level of risk.
Hi. I don't really know the rules or guidelines around here but I am freaking out a bit and was looking for some help/information. I recently was told by my best friend (he is male and I am male) yesterday that he is HIV positive. I have had sexual contact with him a handful of times in the last 2.5 years. He is also someone who is struggling with crystal meth addiction. I did ask him if he was on meds because I never personally witnessed him consistently taking meds despite going on 2 week long trips with him, but I have seen him take pills but he told me they were vitamins. I wasn't sure if I got a straight answer because it was an argument. He claims he's had it and known for 5-7 years but he appears healthy and as far as I know, he regularly goes to the doctor (no more or less than anyone else I know) albeit I don't know for what. This was not a pleasant disclosure, our friendship is over and now I will tell you the extent of my contact so you can let me know just how risky my behavior was.
1. I had full blown intercourse with him (I was the top) once while he was intoxicated but a condom was used and it did not break. Another time I attempted intercourse, also with a condom that didnt break but it was very quick, literally in and out.
2. A handful of times, I performed unprotected oral sex on him, i would say anywhere from 7-10 times. He never ejaculated in my mouth and the pre-ejaculate didn't look like any more or less than normal. He is not circumsized (not sure if that matters). To my knowledge, I did not have any bleeding gums, sores, lesions or anything like that in my mouth. My gums do bleed sometimes when I brush my teeth but I am almost certain I never brushed my teeth directly before an encounter because most of them happened in the morning as soon as we woke up.
3. I performed oral anal on him a handful of times, about 3-5 times, again, I do not believe I had any sores or open wounds in my mouth nor did he have any on his anus.
4. I fingered him a couple of times, again no visible open wounds in either area.
There were also a couple of incidents where we physically fought. To my best recollection, none of his blood touched me as the only person who had any physical wounds was me. There was ONE time where during a scuffle in the car, I scratched the inside of his mouth with my fingertips and while he bled profusely inside his mouth, I am unaware how much if any of his blood got on me.
Basically, I just want to know how at risk I am. Everyone keeps telling me they think I'm ok but should get tested just to be on the safe side but I am kinda freaked about it. He's a horrible person who lied to me about it and when I asked him why he said "I didn't lie, you just never asked". We very close friends. So yeah, any help/information would be greatly appreciated. Also, all of these events I'm sure happened at least 2.5-3 months ago and at most 2 years ago. Thanks.
1. I had full blown intercourse with him (I was the top) once while he was intoxicated but a condom was used and it did not break. Another time I attempted intercourse, also with a condom that didnt break but it was very quick, literally in and out.
2. A handful of times, I performed unprotected oral sex on him, i would say anywhere from 7-10 times. He never ejaculated in my mouth and the pre-ejaculate didn't look like any more or less than normal. He is not circumsized (not sure if that matters). To my knowledge, I did not have any bleeding gums, sores, lesions or anything like that in my mouth. My gums do bleed sometimes when I brush my teeth but I am almost certain I never brushed my teeth directly before an encounter because most of them happened in the morning as soon as we woke up.
3. I performed oral anal on him a handful of times, about 3-5 times, again, I do not believe I had any sores or open wounds in my mouth nor did he have any on his anus.
4. I fingered him a couple of times, again no visible open wounds in either area.
There were also a couple of incidents where we physically fought. To my best recollection, none of his blood touched me as the only person who had any physical wounds was me. There was ONE time where during a scuffle in the car, I scratched the inside of his mouth with my fingertips and while he bled profusely inside his mouth, I am unaware how much if any of his blood got on me.
Basically, I just want to know how at risk I am. Everyone keeps telling me they think I'm ok but should get tested just to be on the safe side but I am kinda freaked about it. He's a horrible person who lied to me about it and when I asked him why he said "I didn't lie, you just never asked". We very close friends. So yeah, any help/information would be greatly appreciated. Also, all of these events I'm sure happened at least 2.5-3 months ago and at most 2 years ago. Thanks.
Hey everyone, I am going to get tested today just for my own peace of mind because I am driving myself insane. I have always had an irrational fear of being tested despite never penetrating someone unprotected and never being penetrated, protected or otherwise. Hell, I think I've only performed oral sex on 3 or 4 penises in my life, although I have received from quite a few. Anyyyyywho, this is a very scary thing for me to do so please keep your fingers crossed for me or pray or whatever it is you do for luck. I'll let you guys know the results. Thanks again so much for your responses.
links...sites...totally unnecessary.
it is a FACT that hiv is transmitted through...
UNPROTECTED vaginal / anal intercourse
sharing iv drug works
mother to child
period !
there are over a dozen different proteins and enzymes in the mouth that inhibit transmission.
FROM THE HIV EXPERTS HERE AT MEDHELP:
"As you know from other posts about oral sex, our stance is that giving or receiving oral sex is not a risk for HIV. Some others suggest that there is an appreciable risk of HIV from oral sex however, there are no convincing scientific reports which support these statements. The presence of a burn in your mouth, or a sore, or ingestion of blood does not change this. Still no risk an no reason for testing." DR HOOK
"As far as HIV is concerned, there is no known risk of getting HIV from performing oral sex on an infected partner, even if that person's genital secretions get into your eyes or if you swallow" DR HOOK
There is no debate (among experts) about the HIV risks associated with oral sex. The risk is so low that almost nobody who cares for HIV infected patients has ever had a patient believed to have been infected that way. Among experts, it's a semantic issue about using terms like "no risk" and "very low risk". There is no difference between my or Dr. Hook's use of "low risk" and other experts' "no risk".
DR. HANDSFIELD
"And oral sex is basically safe sex -- completely safe with respect to HIV and although not zero risk for other STDs, the chance of infection is far lower than for unprotected vaginal or anal sex. Please educate yourself about the real risks. If you stick with oral sex and condom-protected vaginal or anal sex, you have no HIV worries and very little worry about other STDs. " DR HANDSFIELD
"I am sure you can find lots of people who belive that HIV is transmitted by oral sex, but you will not find scientific data to support this unrealistic concern..." DR HOOK
"HIV is not spread by touching, masturbation, oral sex or condom protected sex."- DR. HOOK
in the public HIV Prevention forum of MedHelp, TEAK and the other moderators maintain that oral sex in all forms is a zero risk activity. Would you agree with this assessment?
I TOTALLY AGREE / DR GARCIA
The observation on thousand and thousand of observations is that HIV is not spread by oral sex (of any sort). DR. HOOK
"With regard to the question you ask, I will repeat, as I’ve said more times than I can think- there are NO credible cases in which persons have acquired HIV through performance of oral sex- none!!. The chance that you will be the first is ridiculously low. You are more likely to be hit by lightening while reading my reply to you. DR HOOK
"HIV is not spread by masturbation, through oral sex, through kissing or other casual contact." DR HOOK
"There is no credible evidence that HIV is spread through oral sex, with or without the presence of cuts or blood in the persons mouth."- DR HOOK
"Oral sex. there is no evidence that HIV is spread through giving or receiving oral sex"- DR HOOK
"HIV is not spread through oral sex." DR HOOK
"HIV is not spread through giving or receiving oral sex" DR HOOK
you want knowledge? read the forum !
it is a FACT that hiv is transmitted through...
UNPROTECTED vaginal / anal intercourse
sharing iv drug works
mother to child
period !
there are over a dozen different proteins and enzymes in the mouth that inhibit transmission.
FROM THE HIV EXPERTS HERE AT MEDHELP:
"As you know from other posts about oral sex, our stance is that giving or receiving oral sex is not a risk for HIV. Some others suggest that there is an appreciable risk of HIV from oral sex however, there are no convincing scientific reports which support these statements. The presence of a burn in your mouth, or a sore, or ingestion of blood does not change this. Still no risk an no reason for testing." DR HOOK
"As far as HIV is concerned, there is no known risk of getting HIV from performing oral sex on an infected partner, even if that person's genital secretions get into your eyes or if you swallow" DR HOOK
There is no debate (among experts) about the HIV risks associated with oral sex. The risk is so low that almost nobody who cares for HIV infected patients has ever had a patient believed to have been infected that way. Among experts, it's a semantic issue about using terms like "no risk" and "very low risk". There is no difference between my or Dr. Hook's use of "low risk" and other experts' "no risk".
DR. HANDSFIELD
"And oral sex is basically safe sex -- completely safe with respect to HIV and although not zero risk for other STDs, the chance of infection is far lower than for unprotected vaginal or anal sex. Please educate yourself about the real risks. If you stick with oral sex and condom-protected vaginal or anal sex, you have no HIV worries and very little worry about other STDs. " DR HANDSFIELD
"I am sure you can find lots of people who belive that HIV is transmitted by oral sex, but you will not find scientific data to support this unrealistic concern..." DR HOOK
"HIV is not spread by touching, masturbation, oral sex or condom protected sex."- DR. HOOK
in the public HIV Prevention forum of MedHelp, TEAK and the other moderators maintain that oral sex in all forms is a zero risk activity. Would you agree with this assessment?
I TOTALLY AGREE / DR GARCIA
The observation on thousand and thousand of observations is that HIV is not spread by oral sex (of any sort). DR. HOOK
"With regard to the question you ask, I will repeat, as I’ve said more times than I can think- there are NO credible cases in which persons have acquired HIV through performance of oral sex- none!!. The chance that you will be the first is ridiculously low. You are more likely to be hit by lightening while reading my reply to you. DR HOOK
"HIV is not spread by masturbation, through oral sex, through kissing or other casual contact." DR HOOK
"There is no credible evidence that HIV is spread through oral sex, with or without the presence of cuts or blood in the persons mouth."- DR HOOK
"Oral sex. there is no evidence that HIV is spread through giving or receiving oral sex"- DR HOOK
"HIV is not spread through oral sex." DR HOOK
"HIV is not spread through giving or receiving oral sex" DR HOOK
you want knowledge? read the forum !
Are there any links to sites that support that I'm not at risk. Not that I doubt any of your opinions, I just want to educate myself as much as possible so I can protect myself. Thanks.
did you have unprotected sex? NO
did you share iv drug works? NOT MENTIONED
no reason to test.
did you share iv drug works? NOT MENTIONED
no reason to test.
I appreciate all the replies, I do feel better. However this morning I did speak with a private counselor at a clinic and I described the same incidents and she said my risk is not as high, I am at risk and should be tested to be on the safe side. I completely understand that my risk is low and I believe people who are sexually active should be tested regardless (although I've never once had unprotected intercourse), I guess I'm just trying to decipher if I am at NO risk or at LOW risk or if this is just semantics and really mean the same thing essentially.
Thanks. Everyone is pressuring me to get tested ASAP just to be on the safe side but I'm terrified of the results even though I have never had unprotected intercourse. I just don't want to feel rushed or pressured to get tested, I want to go when I'm ready, you know?
nothing...NOT ONE THING...that you have described put you at risk for contracting hiv.
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