The doctors left here years ago. You can stop hating yourself or thinking you are stupid (many people did what you did and it is natural), because you had zero risk for HIV and in fact are free to live your happy life again, safe from HIV.
HIV is instantly inactivated in air and also in saliva so there is no risk from oral or touching activities even if both of you were eating, bleeding, cut, had lactation, rashes etc. Only sex risks for HIV are unprotected penetrating vaginal or anal so there are no "unusual circumstances"as you put it that are risks for HIV. You are safe because the science is 40 years old, so well proven - no detail you add can make you at risk for HIV.