frustrated!

[colleen813]

I have been experiencing palpitations for years!It is worse after meals or at night, and sometimes they happen 4 or 5 in a row.ive had ekgs and an echo with no structural abnormalities found.I wore a holter and was diagnosed with slight tachycardia.the palpitations cause panic attacks and im sure somehting serious must be wrong so why havent they found it?I take diltiazem 30mg 2x a day and 12.5mg atenolol 1x a day.I also take lexapro and synthroid but recently had my thyroid checked and its fine.I have no insurance and im so afraid.its gotten to where every waking moment there is the thought that my heart is going to stop.Please help me what should i do?

[LindaTX]

I'm not worried at all about death and dying....I'm worried about being able to live...live day to day, relatively free of pain, having enough energy to get about without being knocked down by a-fib.

[colleen813]

Thank you for the advice.It brought tears to my eyes to read about people who understand what im going through.they are so truly terrifying.and when i get them and get quiet everyone asks me what's wrong, im tired of saying the the same thing..."just my heart bein crazy again".I know what you mean when you say that on good days its easy to feel like you can rise above it, but then the bad days come and you're right back to wondering if every breath is your last.I can't stand this any more.I guess the only thing left to do is try to meditate or something.Because i honestly dont think any of these damn meds are helping me at all.And why are doctors so flippant about heart palpitations?You'd think i was complaining of a runny nose or something equally trivial the way they brush me off.Anyway, i guess ill be spending a lot of time on here because for some reason its comforting to see how others are tortured by this as well(lol sorry).But there again i guess its just another way of letting these damn things rule my life!

[TatiSD]

You know it!  Ultimately, it's the acceptance of DEATH.   Well, I am no Dalai Lama but that's what I keep trying to do - work towards accepting death.  Once death is accepted as an unavoidable, natural event in life, one can live freely and beautifully.  Perhaps that's what these palps are all about, a teaching devise.  At this point, I need another 10 life times for me to casually accept dying.  None-the-less, I will continue TRYING to adapt and accept what comes my way.  (I'm not being v. successful these days since I'm getting lots pf palps. :-P )

[rmontgom21740]

Please let me know if you find that magic potion.  It would be worth more to me than hitting the lottery. :-)   I am so tired of this controlling my life.  I keep telling myself that I don't care anymore.  But truely, I believe to get to that place you have to be ok with death because after all... isn't that what we are worried about?

[TatiSD]

SSRI's also did not help me.  My palps did not get reduced, only my reaction to them slightly lessened, occasionally.  SInce the palps were the same frequency, I stopped the SSRI's since I'm not keen on blindly medicating.  Beta Blockers also did not decrease my pv'c, so I stopped them as well.  Meds can definitely have adverse reactions or are not so effective for some of us. UNFORTUNATELY!!!  I want the magic potion that will stop these once and for all so I can go back to enjoying my life freely. Now I'm just being delusional.

[rmontgom21740]

Hello,

I HATE PVC's.  Here is one thing I found out through the past 20 years of having them. EVERYTHING causes it to happen. But for sure the biggest for me was SSRI's.  The DR told me that its not that but I'm sorry.... i was having 20 to 30 per minute while taking Zoloft.  Freaking out... I called my doctor, he only increased the dose.  I guess he thought I was having a hard time dealing with it. (WELL I WAS).  Anyway, after about 4 months of this crap.... they took me off the SSRI and my PVC's returned to only about 3 to 4 a day.  Sometimes a little more depending on what I eat and how much sleep I get.  So in short, I went from having about 44,000 a day to 3 to 4 a day after stopping the meds.  PLEASE consider the meds may be adding to your problem.  

[TatiSD]

Thanks CIndy, but as the hours roll by my situation keeps agitating me, making it harder and harder to follow my own advice.  I could just scream, not only because I get so many, but during the short times in between, I sit on edge expecting the next round.  I hate when I fall into this trap hole.  I also feel these small episodes of being SOB and when I expand my chest to get more air, boom, PVC.  Every time I sit down, PVC's, and after I eat something esp, with a little sugar (like a pcs of fruit) 10 mins later, tons of pvc's.  I repeat doing these thing just to see if it's actually that which provoking them and sure enough the same reaction happens. My heart feels like it's irritable right now and will quickly react to anything. (like reaching up to put dishes away -> flutters and pvc's)
What's with the SOB and then pvc?  I am so FED up with this crap which consumes me when I get so palp active.  
When I don't feel them or get so many, I feel like I can take it on, then BOOM, bad days come and I honestly do not understand how people cope in the midst of them when they get thousands per day. DO you go on with the routines of the day, as you feel your heart keeps skipping minute to minute? HOW???  What do you all think immediately after you feel your flip-flops, and the next one that just followed?  I am asking those who can handle it elegantly.  I can try to look at the positives in the middle of the chaos, but I don't believe it in that moment.
It's nice to give helpful advice to others, and so difficult to take it when I'm in the middle of being terrorized. The recommendation I made above does help me when the they are rare or go away quickly.  But then they come on with a vengeance and no matter what method to self-soothe that I try, it does not ease them up, nor my mind.  (Perhaps I haven't mastered the calming techniques)  Not happy today.

[cindy707]

I absolutely loved Tatis post to you and we should all learn from it i think.....i think actually in everyday life whether or not we are having heart issues or not...my two cents worth colleen is that 99% of all doctors will not refuse to see a pt. because of lack of being able to pay and most if not all of them will put you on an easy payment plan and if all else fails just go to the E.R, to get checked out because they for sure cannot legally turn you away if you live in the United States because of lack of ability to pay.  Most hospitals have what is called a charity program where they will actually write off your bills on their taxes as long as the facility is not maxed out for the year and many of the hospitals help you with your paperwork for some sort of aid .  There is no such thing as pride here where the heart and your health is concerned Colleen....many of us have been there and done that before we got our insurance but in this day and age to have to pay for it yourself is just about impossible to do because of the rates.  I would definately get yourself checked out one way or another here especially if things seem to be speeding up on you or getting worse...how much is your life worth to you and your family?  Go for it....

[TatiSD]

I'm giving you this advise as I try to take it for myself as well since I know full well how you are feeling right now.  For the past few days I've been very active in the palp dept. and like you I get them after I eat.  I had 2 bites of a banana today, sat in my car to go out and they started and continued for a while.  I also go through periods of time that I get them when I sit down, esp. if the seat is low.  I try to "let go" when they happen and say to myself "release" while I let my body go limpish.  I try to focus on the breath and exhale deeply (this relaxes the body).  When they happen again, I do it again.  I am doing this with the hope that I may train my mind to just let go of the fear and anxiety and trepidation and agitation, and frustration.  History has always indicated that eventually things change for the better, so I wait.  That gives me some reassurance that I've survived these episodes over the past 17 years.  SO you seem to have yourself covered in many ways (meds, positive (in a good way) test conclusions, etc) and now the only thing is the MIND.   The hardest to change, I know. Observing the palps without judging them helps too. It's freaking hard as heck but you're in company of many people who survive much worse so hang in there.  Now I'm going to go and try to take my own advice... :) You'll come out of this too.  I've read the following on this site and it helps me:  Hearts that palpitate are very adept at not letting your heart just stop.