!@#$%^&*()

[paulalynn1965]

I may be too new to the site to be whining but here it goes. Today I feel horrid and I am angry with the world for making me participate. I am angry that my husband can sleep in, and that if I could sleep in, I couldn't sleep. And if I am too nauses to eat, why does my family need to eat. I know, I am out of control right now. But if they want to be supportive, dry heave every morning. That would be support. Thank you Lord that I am not this angry everyday. Does anyone else have these days? Thanks for listening. Paula

[paulalynn1965]

Until I found this site, I knew no one with this illness. I too tell myself it is all in my head, or natural aging process blah blah blah. I know my husband gets tired of me not feeling good so either I pretend all is well or complain. It is funny because this morning after I wrote that, I seemed able to get ready for work. I think I just needed to get that out. It does seem that once I get moving I am "ok" but it is just getting moving. I love this site and feel very close to the women that have talked to me. And it is good to hear others symptoms and know your not going crazy. And I hope your will all be happy to hear, I sat out some dinner to thaw and am going to feed the family.

[incharge08]

Hey Paula - I understand - I understand. I tried to write a post last night - but I too thought it sounded too "whining" - thanks a lot for expressing yourself - it helped me out knowing someone else is feeling as I do.

My symptoms are increasing also for the past two weeks -  severe itching, I'm nauseas, my gall bladder (I have gallstones) and pancreas hurt to touch and when I just breathe, I am sooo tired physically and emotionally -  the mood swings are becoming worse – despite being on meds for depression and anxiety. Last night I talked myself into thinking all these sxs "are in my head" or I must be getting the flu".

Like you, I am not on any treatment right now either.

I have support but my family always says - "it's going to be alright" - I smile and agree with them just so they feel better - just to keep everything on a positive note. “It is going to be alright” - but sometimes those words are not helpful.

I'm not as angry as when I was first dx 02/15/08 – posting my questions/ thoughts/ feelings - on this site for the first time last week - as well as reading others' posts has help me not feel so isolated and crazy.

When I need support/encouragement I log in to the site and just read others comments etc.  Little things like that help me right now –

thank-you Paula for venting - you helped me a lot today

[kittyface]

Wow, by your description I thought you were on treatment already.  You'd better get to the doc fast -- those symptoms are extreme.  

Yes, Hep C can affect other organs, including the pancreas, gall bladder and spleen.

Let us know what's going on with you.

Best regards,

Kittyface

[paulalynn1965]

That is the sad thing, I am not even on treatment right now. My husband, even though I take it out on him, he is the driver of us both. He does the whole, "Stomp it off, you are tougher than that" and I think out of spite I go on. I am at work now and I am feeling better. Someone suggested that since the liver doesn't feel it could be my gall bladder. I did some reading on it and sounds very possible. Does the Hep effect the gall bladder of is that two different things? Once I am up a few hours and force myself to eat I am better. My husband is always trying to force me to eat. When I went to the doc a month ago I had lost 10 lbs. I am making an appt today. I will keep you posted. Thanks for not lecturing and all that sensible stuff.
Paula

[medicmommy]

You go girl! Vent away! Are you on hep treatment right now? Maybe taking ribavirin? If so, this could be a "riba rage" in the works...If not, I'll bet you have put into words what many others would like to...The unfairness of it all...If you aren't on any antianxiety meds, you should contact your doctor and tell them what you are experiencing...The rages can escalate and create even worse problems...Hey, come over into hep social and vent! You'll get a following of people who will support/ vent with you....(((((((((((((((((HUGZ))))))))))))))...Have a better day...

[nygirl7]

Paula are you on treatment already?

God knows we all understand the feelings you just wrote about - this disease and treatment really honestly CAN make us stark raving mad at times.  The "riba-rage" anger is something I never would have believed could happen.  And the depression and loneliness we can get into is all too familiar.

My doc started me on paxill 20mg a month before I started treatment - I think it helped me a LOT.  Even though I did have the riba rage my family and I had discussed it before I started treatment and they were able to recognize what it was when it happened so we could deal with it.  I didn't know I could almost want to beat my own child for breathing too loud!  But it would just get that crazy.

It sounds like you have a bunch of depression going on right now - I hope you are under a doctors care and getting a good anti-depressent into you.

You didn't say much and I have not seen your other posts (I'd most likely forget details anyway) but I want to let you know that we are here - whine away.  Sometimes its the biggest help in the whole world!

Debby