Aa
New Tread ? I'm not sure...
I'm new to this forum , and very glad to know there is such a thing around. My daughter said "Mom , you need to find some people to talk to about this " . And I thought , Gosh , where ?
But , I do have a question that may have already been addressed , if so I can't find it and so would appreciate comments or threads.
Is anyone here dealing with anger issus as far as how you got this to start with ? ...I am.
First of all let me say that I am not unfimillar with Hep - C as I had a sister who died from this 6 years ago. She had recieved a blood transfusion after being hit by a car while crossing a street. So for many years my family was accustom to taking all the nessesary precautions to prevent spreading. She died a horrible death , and I was the one who "tended her" for the last few years.
I'm getting off track , but my point is , I am not unfimilliar with Hep-C .
My anger issues are as follows.
I met a man 8 months ago , no sex for the first month or so, then yes. We dated for a few months and then decided to marry .We married on March 24th of this year. About a week later he told me he had been for a routine checkup and was found positive for B and C.. I was shocked , scared and curious. So... after looking through his medical records I discovered that in fact he had been diagnosed over 9 years ago with both.
This leads me to my point. I am Very angry and not at all sure I can live with a man who was dishonest to me about such a serious matter. As I told him , more than likely I would have said , " OK , I know what to do and I can deal with this . But the fact that I wasn't given a choice really upsets me. I could have prevevted this from happening to me if I had known.
Am I being unreasonable ? Am I wrong ? We argue alll the time and some days barely speak because this is always in the back of my mind.
Gosh, I'm gonna hush now ...LOL.
Just hoping for some comments. And yes, I am Hep -C positive now . "they" estimate 6 months.
Thanks,
moon
But , I do have a question that may have already been addressed , if so I can't find it and so would appreciate comments or threads.
Is anyone here dealing with anger issus as far as how you got this to start with ? ...I am.
First of all let me say that I am not unfimillar with Hep - C as I had a sister who died from this 6 years ago. She had recieved a blood transfusion after being hit by a car while crossing a street. So for many years my family was accustom to taking all the nessesary precautions to prevent spreading. She died a horrible death , and I was the one who "tended her" for the last few years.
I'm getting off track , but my point is , I am not unfimilliar with Hep-C .
My anger issues are as follows.
I met a man 8 months ago , no sex for the first month or so, then yes. We dated for a few months and then decided to marry .We married on March 24th of this year. About a week later he told me he had been for a routine checkup and was found positive for B and C.. I was shocked , scared and curious. So... after looking through his medical records I discovered that in fact he had been diagnosed over 9 years ago with both.
This leads me to my point. I am Very angry and not at all sure I can live with a man who was dishonest to me about such a serious matter. As I told him , more than likely I would have said , " OK , I know what to do and I can deal with this . But the fact that I wasn't given a choice really upsets me. I could have prevevted this from happening to me if I had known.
Am I being unreasonable ? Am I wrong ? We argue alll the time and some days barely speak because this is always in the back of my mind.
Gosh, I'm gonna hush now ...LOL.
Just hoping for some comments. And yes, I am Hep -C positive now . "they" estimate 6 months.
Thanks,
moon
First to desrt... yes , Hep - C can be transmitted by sexuall contact , piticuarlly if there is blood involved such as a woman during her menstrall cycle. As to the B , yes it is even more easily transmitted than C . But as I mentioned , I don't have B , only ( LOL @ only C) at this point and am taking vacines.
But to the question of how it is determined by test, this is how is was explained to me by my doc. It is measured by enzime levels. I can't say I completely understand that myself , but it definantly would be correct in my case as I was not in an intimate relashonship for some time prior to this. So the 6 month period would be correct.
To rezin8 .. Thank you for sharing your story. I never thought much about this before because I've always assumed that single people who were occasionally sexually involved just normally got themselves checked . ( dipstick here ) But , I do realize that men tend not to have regular checkups as women do , Pap ect.
My only point here is that this man KNEW he had C and B for almost 10 years , and never said a word about it. That kind of put a damper on my feelings for him . Yes , I am still with him , just taking it day by day . But , this sure isn't the best way to start a marriage .
Ty kerfluffle for understanding . Thats exactly what he did say ..." I was afraid of losing you " Also , "What are the odds you would get this ?" But.... I think I should have at least had the choice to decide for myself , and also to know what precautions I should take. It's not even all about sex. ( I spent several nights at his home prior to that.) But it's also things like sharing razors ect. I remember one day when he was working on his car and cut his finger really bad. I ran to the medicine cabinet dragging him all the way trying to stop the blood . I never gave it a second thought . Who's to say . I don't know how I got this , I just know I do .
Thank you to all who commented,
moon
But to the question of how it is determined by test, this is how is was explained to me by my doc. It is measured by enzime levels. I can't say I completely understand that myself , but it definantly would be correct in my case as I was not in an intimate relashonship for some time prior to this. So the 6 month period would be correct.
To rezin8 .. Thank you for sharing your story. I never thought much about this before because I've always assumed that single people who were occasionally sexually involved just normally got themselves checked . ( dipstick here ) But , I do realize that men tend not to have regular checkups as women do , Pap ect.
My only point here is that this man KNEW he had C and B for almost 10 years , and never said a word about it. That kind of put a damper on my feelings for him . Yes , I am still with him , just taking it day by day . But , this sure isn't the best way to start a marriage .
Ty kerfluffle for understanding . Thats exactly what he did say ..." I was afraid of losing you " Also , "What are the odds you would get this ?" But.... I think I should have at least had the choice to decide for myself , and also to know what precautions I should take. It's not even all about sex. ( I spent several nights at his home prior to that.) But it's also things like sharing razors ect. I remember one day when he was working on his car and cut his finger really bad. I ran to the medicine cabinet dragging him all the way trying to stop the blood . I never gave it a second thought . Who's to say . I don't know how I got this , I just know I do .
Thank you to all who commented,
moon
Here's a quick story for you...
I went out one night with some friend that were in from out of town. Of course, being in New Orleans, they want to go to Bourbon Street. We got home some time around 9am the next day.
When I finally came out of my alcohol induced sleep, my at-the-time-girlfriend-now-wife-who-was-in-med-school-now-a-doctor thought I looked a little yellow. She asked me to see a doctor.
I go to the doctor a few days later, get some blood drawn, and leave not really thinking anything. Well the at-the-time-girlfriend-now-wife-who-was-in-med-school-now-a-doctor had the doctor run a hep panel as one of the blood tests.
3 days later she came home and told me that I tested positive for Hep C.
It's weird, but I've always felt kinda jipped that I didn't have to sit down and explain everything to her. She went and got tested herself, came back negative for C, but positive for B antibodies. When she told me that she tested positive for B antibodies, she didn't have the chance to get out of her mouth the words "because I've been vaccinated against it" before I had to run up to a stage, grab a microphone, and try to be funny in front about 300 people.
Anyway, I guess my point is, it's always good to talk about it. And IMHO, you shouldn't feel bad about being angry with him. It's not unreasonable for one person to have some sort of animosity towards another person because that person lied/withheld truth from the first person.
Now I think I hold a record for "Most hyphens used in a sentence". Guinness was going to hold an awards ceremony tomorrow at noon, but I had to decline due to the fact that I'm no longer allowed to partake in their tasty, tasty beverage.
I went out one night with some friend that were in from out of town. Of course, being in New Orleans, they want to go to Bourbon Street. We got home some time around 9am the next day.
When I finally came out of my alcohol induced sleep, my at-the-time-girlfriend-now-wife-who-was-in-med-school-now-a-doctor thought I looked a little yellow. She asked me to see a doctor.
I go to the doctor a few days later, get some blood drawn, and leave not really thinking anything. Well the at-the-time-girlfriend-now-wife-who-was-in-med-school-now-a-doctor had the doctor run a hep panel as one of the blood tests.
3 days later she came home and told me that I tested positive for Hep C.
It's weird, but I've always felt kinda jipped that I didn't have to sit down and explain everything to her. She went and got tested herself, came back negative for C, but positive for B antibodies. When she told me that she tested positive for B antibodies, she didn't have the chance to get out of her mouth the words "because I've been vaccinated against it" before I had to run up to a stage, grab a microphone, and try to be funny in front about 300 people.
Anyway, I guess my point is, it's always good to talk about it. And IMHO, you shouldn't feel bad about being angry with him. It's not unreasonable for one person to have some sort of animosity towards another person because that person lied/withheld truth from the first person.
Now I think I hold a record for "Most hyphens used in a sentence". Guinness was going to hold an awards ceremony tomorrow at noon, but I had to decline due to the fact that I'm no longer allowed to partake in their tasty, tasty beverage.
He violated your trust. Naturally you would be angry. Now he either works to regain your trust or he doesn't. I think this is an excellent situation for a counselor to help sort out.
If AIDS is a sexually transmitted disease then HepC sure is. It can absolutely be transmitted sexually to a man or to a woman. Depending on your sexual practices, you can have a very significant degree of risk of catching it sexually.
I can understand your anger. It's unfortunate but some men and women would rather worry about what you will do to them (like give up the relationship) instead of warn you about their infectious status. It's just so selfish and self-serving.. People make all kinds of excuses about their behavior ("oh, it's really not catching from sex" and "Oh, it's not really my responsibility if you don't take precautions") but in the end it's just selfishness.
I hope that you are no longer with this person because you are worth more. He is likely to do this to someone else. In some states what he did can be considered assault (I think) and by filing charges you may help the next person not be another victim.
I hope that you are no longer with this person because you are worth more. He is likely to do this to someone else. In some states what he did can be considered assault (I think) and by filing charges you may help the next person not be another victim.
Many people have hepC and have no idea how they got it. In my view, how you got it is moot. The question is:what are you going to do NOW! This is today.
I would urge you to find a way to deal with your anger whether its writing things down, punching a pillow, exercise or meditation.
The liver has been connected to the liver for a long time. I wonder if we all have anger issues?
Good luck, OH
I would urge you to find a way to deal with your anger whether its writing things down, punching a pillow, exercise or meditation.
The liver has been connected to the liver for a long time. I wonder if we all have anger issues?
Good luck, OH
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