crazy

[sunshine585]

I'm on week 34 of tx. I've had a couple of brief episodes where I feel like I'm barely hanging on to my sanity, like a bad acid trip, i the only way I can think to describe it. It isn't anxiety or depression. I'm on AD's since beginning of tx which are helping with the  depression, but this is totally different, an it's scarring the **** out of me. Sometimes I feel like a P.O.W. in solitary trying to hang on to reality. I told my nurse and she was at a loss so sugested I see a psychologist. I went twice, she had no experience with HCV or people on tx. I didn't feel like counselling was the answer. Anybody out there feel like this?

[ladywhy]

Well, Meki stated the symptoms very well. I was not taking sunshine literally (sorry) when she brought up 'bad acid trip'....which I imagine (thankfully, i never had one) would include halucinations and whatnot.
I figured just  being able to talk to someone (psychologist) objective may have some benefits. The feeling of isolation can be brutal.

[sunshine585]

Thanks everyone for responding. It makes me feel better knowing I'm not the only one, that this is a common side. Everyhing I read and everything I was told at my clinic that the mental sides are uncommon, and the ones who do have probs, are the ones with a mental health history. Which I don't have. I did call up someone I knew who is dating a psychiatrist. I described to her my episodes, and all the meds I was on plus dosages. She called me back after speaking to him, and told me that he had said it is the meds causing this. If I feel like I amgoing crazy, it's because I am. The meds are doing what they're supposed to do. Something about the drugs preventing me from making connections especially when my mind is not doing something. He said there's nothing you can do, as long as I'm on the meds. He said I was right when I felt that a psychologist wouldn't help as it is the meds.He said he wouldn't change or add anymore meds. And no I don't feel like harmig anyone, although, I did get a water pistol, to shoot the squirrels in my yard. Marcia, thanks for the link, I'll definately look it up.
Pokerron, good luckon your next tx..

[meki]

Don't laugh you guys --- But I think the reaction is fairly common.

I think the chemicals mess with your brain quite a bit.

I think totally in a different way 1 and a half years POST TX.

There were moments when I felt like I was looking at the world through a warped glass bubble...

And it wasn't "depression" and it wasn't anxiety -- but it was looking at the world through a FOG.

Brain fog is very common --- it doesn't just mean you forget things.

It means you feel almost out of body...

Almost just "bizarre"

And since you're so used to feeling ill --- without really knowing you were ill - because HCV is a slow progression ----- and getting better changes everything... and now your body is reacting --- yanno? --- chemicals and hormones.

But if you're getting the urge to chop up folks ---- it's time to get yourself the white coat and get into a padded cell.

If you're getting the urge to hurt yourself or others - call your doctors IMMEDIATELY.

But if you're just feeling totally "out of it"  --- like being drunk or high --- without being drunk or high --- then kick back and just relax.

See your doc - have them run the necessary tests (Blood --- platelets, etc. --- thyroid --- etc...) Hormones too!  if you come back normal --- then realize your entire body is reacting to the meds -- -the disease - and possibly the curing of your body...

Hormones are a wacky thing - and they can throw your outlook off kilter.

So --- journal your thoughts - try to maintain --- don't do anything stupid --- and don't operate heavy machinery if you're not in complete control. OK?

Do see your doc for the medical stuff.

It could be the AD's also.

I can't take Paxil - Prozac or anything like that -- It tilts my world sideways --- LITERALLY... and I had to take Lorazepam and Xanax instead.

So you might want to check that out as well...

I dunno what you're taking - some of the folks here had a real hard time with Effexor...

Anyhow - be good - and good luck!

Meki

[l-horn]

I think the first thing to ask, for me is, have you ever had a bad acid trip, or is this just a cliche you're using ? If it is in fact just like a bad acid trip, then you're having some bouts of schizophrenia type psychosis and that certainly isn't good. Barring it not being that and simply being hyperbole, my guess would be anxiety attack, which can be quite dibilitating and uncomfortable and feel like what you described. 'just about to lose it'. That's anxiety.

[ladywhy]

Wishing you all the best in your next fight for SVR.
....the thing about this tx is that it can be different each time...so hopefully it will be easier. I wrote to someone privately today...about politics and how I am on the fence...that seems to be true in all aspects of my life. I just can't decide on anything..just plain wishywashy...totally not the norm. Constantly second guessing..
so I have decided not to decide presently. :)

[Marcia2202]

Here is a link from CCO, Clinical Care Options on the subject of Psychiatric Adverse Events on TX

http://clinicaloptions.com/Hepatitis/Treatment%20Updates/HCV%20and%20Depression%202008/Interactive%20Case%20Challenges/Sulkowski%20Case.aspx

[ladywhy]

I have been txing a loooong time...like 19 mos. and I know exactly what you're talking about. No doubt in my mind....it is the interferon (of which I had been double dosing for over a year.)
Thank God it passes and I know many here who have experienced the same thing....hang in there.
....if my insurance covered it, I think a psychologist could have been a benefit....and thankfully...some members here shared their experiences and that helped more than I can say. Just know you are not alone.
To your health.
y

[PokerRon]

im glad this subject has come up....during my 32 weeks of failed TX..
i felt like i was going crazy...

once when flying home from Vegas during a late night storm
i remember thinking i didnt care wether the plane crashed or not..

At work i was a decision maker who couldnt make a clear cut decision on anything, self doubt, anxiety, tiredness, depression you name it..

however almost the minute i stopped TX i felt like the worst had been lifted.....
i was on 10mg of lexipro and adivan,
i dont know if i can make it through TX mentally but im set to try

i will be part of the boceprevir trial that starts next month

i think much more knowledge and discussions are needed on the
mental aspects of TX

ron

[sunshine585]

Thanks Marcia, I have many sides and at wk 34 have learned totolerate most of them. This mental thing is very frightening though.

[Marcia2202]

It might take a few days before he is able to answer. He doesn't usually answer questions on weekends.

Marcia

[sunshine585]

Actually I did ask Dr. Dieterich, just today. Haven't heard back yet. This can't be rare surely there are more people than just myself and comeagain, who have these episodes.

[Marcia2202]

Maybe you could ask Dr. Dieterich on the expert forum. He has treated many patients and has gone through tx himself. I'm almost certain that he will have an answer.

http://www.medhelp.org/forums/show/272


Marcia

[comeagain]

I´m just bumbing this question up,  because i think its odd there isn´t more people how have felt crazy on the meds, can we have some lunis chiming in please.

ca

[sunshine585]

Thankyou so much, it means alot to hear that you went through it too, and maintaine your sanity. The good thing is I don't feel bad (mental, or physical) all the time. I did my shot yesterday and other than feeling fatigued and mentally fuzzy I'm ok, today anyways. How are your sides this time around, and is the tx working for you?
       Thanks Again S.

[comeagain]

I have no such history either, and as you say it was a totaly new and therefor very scaring experience first time. I thougt i cant continue this  even if i want to because I´m losing my mind, but it wasn´t like that all the time thank God and thats why i managed.

This second time is not at all like that and I think its because I´m not afraid anymore.

But let me tell you this it wasn´t until 2-3 weeks after first tx that the fear left me, when I suddenly felt normal again brainfog every odd thought and feeling just dissapered like magic it was a wonderful felling.

I hasn´t been taking any Ad on either tx on the first I`ve got atarax for panic anixity atacs.

Your not alone stay brave its gonna be alright.

ca

[Marc1955]

Sunshine – I think you should see a psychiatrist. Anyone who thinks counseling is the answer must have a few marbles loose themselves. Obviously what you're describing is serious and is causing you a great deal of concern. Psychiatrists are supposed to be the ones who know about prescription drugs and the chemical side of the brain. I know it's a difficult profession to deal with, but hopefully you can find someone good.

[sunshine585]

Thankyou for the reassurance, I was beginning to feel like I was the only one who had this. I know depression is very common with these meds, so I started on antidepressants 1 month prior to tx. In the beginning I would occasionally go into what I call the black hole. I increased my antidepressant and now only go into thegray hole on occasion, I'm tolerating that. This feeling that I'm fighting to hang on to my sanity is totally different. Sometimes, I feel like my mind is all over the place and it's hard to rein it in. To comeagain; did your mind straighten out 2-3 wks after you finished tx? Just for the record, I have no history of any mental health probs. Whats happening, am I going psycho?

[Marc1955]

Is it like an anxiety attack? I've had a few of those although I had never had one before. I am on anti-depressants.

[comeagain]

Hello welcome to the forum, we are almost as long on tx, took shot 36  3 ours ago.
Think i can relate, specially on my first tx this is my second and since i got normal in my mind in just 2,3 weeks after first tx its not scaring anymore and since it not scaring it not so intensive.

But do check thyorid and if thats gives nada, you probebly the same as me and its gonna be just fine good luck with rest of tx you well on your way.

ca

[lolitriqui]

don't waste your money; check your thyroid
good luck
ciao