Mental preparation question

[Trish77]

I'm sorry if this is too personal of a question to ask.  I find that the closer I get to doing treatment, the more I begin to grieve all over again.  Perhaps it's because I had treatment rescheduled because of my choice to switch doctors.  I don't know.  I have just found it's like starting all over again.  And now I find I'm going through the grieving process again.  That period of time where you come to grips with what this means for your life and the fact that you may never get what you hope to once treatment is done.  I still don't want to delay treatment.  All my reasons for choosing to proceed at this time are just as valid to me as they were when I made the decision back in the late fall.  I just find...that it's hitting me hard.  And as hard as it's hitting me, I am just as resolved to get this done.  No more talk of sword swinging and warpaint the first day of drugs.  Just this grit my teeth and get it done resolve because I just know this is how it has to be so that I can get to the rest of my life.  I feel like I'm mourning for the next year of my life.  I don't even know what my question is here.  Maybe...it's just too much emotion inside of me and I need to say it to people who I hope will help me deal..or slap me up side the head and tell me to snap out of it.  Whatever works.

[cajunldy]

I can understand the anger too.  Lots of emotions that go on while doing tx.  I labeled my days the Good the Bad and the Ugly. lol  Stay with the forum and the good people here will help guide you through all the times.  Good Luck, you will do fine.

Cajun

[Trish77]

Cajun. Not so much scared...more...angry.  Sad.  Stages of grief.  Simply quietly resolute now.  Just want to get it done.  Thanks for your thoughts.

Trish

[sfbaygirl]

Yep, thankfully that flu is gone!  I missed my first class in assessment, which is a drag. I am getting my masters of education and a credential in Educational Therapy. I really really really wanted to go to law school, always have. At 40 that was my goal, but b/c of a custody thing, I knew no judge would give me custody while in law school.  So I have to live vicariously through John (hubby) and work with him. He does civil appeals and I am his right hand girl. Since I started working with him, we haven't lost a case!  now blowing on my knuckles! lol   I love reading thousands of pages of briefs and learning case law. I am the editor and I write all over the briefs and tell John where he is not making an argument and what is a good argument etc.  We argue in person about the case too.  Lots of fun. No knock outs yet!  lol  He is now rated one of the top 10 super attny's in the state as we have won all our cases. He is good, I am good and we make a hell of a team.  

I am too old for law school, it was my major and I had lots of briefs I wrote, but I went into education, got a teaching cred and taught middle school kids. I figured with my background it would be an easy switch to would with learning disabled kids, one at a time and help them learn stradegies to help them become successful.  So I will have my own practice. John's office is in our home and so will my practice. I still want to continue my work with John as well. He is so dependant on me now it is funny.  He knows I am up all night and do take naps in the evening. One night he put a 3 inch thick brief on my stomach, while asleep, with a note to start reading and commenting when I woke up.....I woke up with a darn flat stomach and just laughed.  He doesn't submit anything without me going through it.  The best thing is that we have won the past 6 cases in a row and if you know much about appeals they are tedious and take time and effort.  So I am proud of him and enjoy this.  What kind of law do you practice?

[IAmTheWalrus]

"Video of hair removal ,,"

Video? I would send you the adhesive patches, hair attached, but I'd probably have to bond the shipper for hazardous waste. :)  

A word about pedicure and tx: I thnk one reason NOT to get a pedicure is the chance of infection: you getting a fungal or staph infection. I had a staph A infection resulting from an improperly clipped toenail. I was the idiot wielding the clippers without my close-range glasses (euphemism for bifocals, I know I'm old). The resulting infection was difficult to clear and the antibiotics were a little hard on the liver.

I think I'd go for the full body massage. Aaaaah!

[cajunldy]

Yes, the pre-jitters.  Beamish stated it on the money, it will pass too.  Congradulations on  taking that big step.  Every body is different, but in many ways the same.  

Foreseegood, I can relate to the hair thing.  My hair was long like yours.  I did color and stuff but; not as often as normal.  If it does effect the hair I found the less process my hair did not dry and crisp up as bad.  I did eventually cut to my shoulders when the hair started thinning alot. My hair thinned all over but extreme around the front crowm. alot.
There are alot of products for the hair when on hepc.  I really liked the hair clips with hair on them.  Worked really good for me.  And, then again, you may not have that bad of a time with it.  
I need to squeeze some time to get orders of 1 yr post.
Trish, don't be so scared, when I found out I thought it was doom.  Then doing tx and working it can get tough.
Good Luck, wishing you the best of the best with tx.

Cajun

[jdwithhcv]

Yes, the pasty face is a bit like something from central casting.  

Have you vanquished the flu yet?  How is school?  I loved going back to school (law school in my 40s).  Where/what are you studying?

Una

[sfbaygirl]

Yep,  good for you. I had to color those roots too.  Didn't seem to hurt and helped my spirit.  The hair may look thin and those handfulls of hairs in the shower are so fun.  I did my own too once as I felt to bad to go to a stylist. Besides I couldn't keep appt's on tx.  So glad you look human again.....although look at that face. those circles and pasty skin.  Sorry just kidding. I looked like someone out Beetle Juice.  We always laughed here and it made me feel better. Little things like white roots make a big difference, I do know!  

Big hugs to you,
Linda

[jdwithhcv]

I went ahead and colored my hair about 5 hours ago.  So far no ill effects and I look and feel so much better!  Used L'Oreal (sp?) Excellence Cream.  Glad I did it, between the thinning hair and the long white roots I was looking pretty sorry.  Now I feel human again.

[sldb]

Iam not sure what type of hair color my stylist uses,but iam a redhead naturally. My hair has fadded over the years from auburn to a much lighter version this is why i color to tone down the orangeness.  I lost a moderate amount of hair with treatment mainly on top and on the sides ( where a male would generally loose hair )  I am 17 mths post treatment and the hair is now coming back. I would guess  the new hair is about an inch long.

[Forseegood]

hi, thanks for your wise insight...I too think that I can manage my depression just fine by hypnosis, meditation, talk therapy, cognitive therapy, the works, lol...but I don't know how well I'll do on treatment, so maybe that's when all bets are off...I'll try the Cymbalta though, seems like it's getting good reviews, but maybe once I'm treatment, things like that will work better like with you...have your wife wax that hairy back of yours, just make sure you video it and give us all the link...betcha you'll do better then that guy in 40-Year-Old-Virgin, lol.....hey, I'll take long eyelashes, mine are practically gone and I'll save on mascara....and sorry for the girltalk boys, but deal with it! lol....

[sfbaygirl]

You are welcome!  Yep, nothing could stop me either. That is a good thing....means you will put your all into tx. Don't let any Dr try to reduce your drugs. What are you taking Peg/Riba?  Do the whole dose of Peg, mine tried to lower it, b/c of weight. I just did the whole shot. Eat lots of fat with the Riba and get a pill box. The brain fog will get you and you may not remember when you took your last dose. Do weight based Riba, not a lower dose. If it were me I would sure as hell try and get some Alina to go along with tx. It is a drug that has little sx. Anyway, that's my advise for you.

You most likely will feel to tired to get a pedicure on tx, I sure did! I

[jdwithhcv]

I love pedicures but the tx weakens the immune system and I worry about fungal infections.  I had toenail fungus once and it was really hard to get rid of it.  Also the drugs (Lamascil and Sporanox) that clear it up are incredibly toxic to the liver.  I know I could never take them again, so I'm swearing off pedicures til my immune system is stronger.  

When I was on chemo for cancer they were real specific about no pedicures while on chemo - maybe I'm just paranoid but I've decided to wait.

JD

[Trish77]

I'm going to go get my hair tinted before I get started too....I go to this woman who has a salon in her home and she's really good.  She does hair for a woman who's going through chemo and has helped her get a good wig.  It'll be nice to have her working on my hair through tx and I'm sure she'll keep me looking decent when and if the hair loss quits.

Yes, hair is important!!!  It's a major accessory!!

[Trish77]

JD, why don't you dare on the pedicure?  I just had the first manicure and pedicure of my entire life, imagine that.  

My son and his g/f gave me a pedicure for Christmas and when one of my girlfriends found out, she gave me a manicure to go with it.  I was so excited...and then  I realized I would have to tell them I have HCV, yadda yadda yadda...and it took all the fun out of it for me.  But when I got there, the woman who worked on me was SO great.  She took necessary precautions, took her gloves off for parts she wasn't concerned about and it was just so pleasant...so nice...and I just remembered, I have to send a note to that spa to tell them how terrific she was.  

So...just wondering why you aren't going?  And hm, if that's a private thing...well, feel free to keep it that way.

[Trish77]

Yep...that's how I feel right now.  Nothing is going to stop me at this point. I took on this special project at work that will put start date at about mid March but I'll drop the project if it means worse than that, I want to get this started that bad.  I just want to get this done.  So yep, my mind is made up, I'm ready and that's all there is to it.  If I have to extend, I'll extend, but whatever it takes, this is it.  Time to get it done.  It is what it is and will be what it will be but time to get 'er done.  Nice nutshell there, Linda. :)

Thanks for the good words.

Trish

[sfbaygirl]

You know when you are ready to do the tx, you just do. I was ready, prepared myself and nothing could have stopped me.  I put my whole into it and don't regret doing so, although I relapsed. Once your mind is made up, that's it!  I couldn't wait for the first drug shipment, I wanted to start.  Of course coming here is difficult hearing all the horror stories about what can happen, but that is someone else's story. You are equiped with knowledge about this disease and know that it isn't easy. Now that you know what you do and are still ready to go on tx,  go for it!!! You have very good chances to succeed if you follow the PCR's and their results closely. If you don't clear by week 12, you have to continue.  Anyway, enough of that, both of you know all that.  I just want to wish you well and as Andiamo says, I will be here for you both too!  

Hugs and wishing you the best!
Linda

[jdwithhcv]

Hair is important!  It helps if you feel SOMETHING is under control.  

4C, you go girl.  I'm about to cave in and color whats left of mine, right in the middle of tx.  Call me defiant, but the gray roots make it appear even thinner than it is.  If its gonna fall out anyhow, at least it will be brown when it does.

What I'd really like is to have a pedicure, but I don't quite dare.

[Forseegood]

okay, so I'm a silly broad sometimes....how many women with Albert Einstein hair have YOU dated:))

[scratchinghead]

If anyone women are reading this that knows the score, how many of you tinted your hair while on TX? I know it's not recommended, even though the tint I use is mostly veggie based, I know it has at least SOME chemicals in it, so I think I'll forgo it, and I might not even feel like going to the salon anyway, although it's mostly just women and gay guys anyway, so who cares who sees me there/ lol....but I just want to know some takes on this, and when did you guys feel okay about tinting your hair again? My hair! My hair!
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sheez

[IAmTheWalrus]

Hey, thanks to the anti-rejection drugs, I got lots of hair to spare. I would be a willing donor. Problem is, it's all gray and mostly on my back and chest. Probably not a good look for the fairer gender!

Since starting the Ribavirin, I have also noticed prodigious growth of my eyelashes. EYELASHES, for heavans sake! So, picture 6'5", backhair like a wolverine, but glamour girl lashes. Maybe I should get the contact lenses and go for the Marilyn Manson look.

It's all good; you just have to look on the bright side. :)

Foresee - Before I the doc figured out I had HCV, he was always confusing my fatigue for depression. I tried several SSRIs, none of which did any good (I was sick, not depressed). Since TX, the Cymbalta has worked well. Haven't noticed any serious sides. A little constipation at first. You might consider it. I know the first choice from my doc was Celexa, I think, which is generic and <$. The Cymbalta is not, but it works for me.

[Forseegood]

hey, thanks for answering this burning question:) may I ask what type of coloring you did? from what color to what color? about how much hair do you think you lost overall?

and a hearty congrats on your svr....! nice to meet you.

[sldb]

I decided during tx if all my hair fell out and there was only 1 hair left on my head i was going to have it colored. i did 96 wks of tx and had my hair colored every 4 to 5 mths. i dont think i lost anymore hair than if i would not have colored it. svr now 13 mths.

[Forseegood]

By the looks of your pic, I don't have as much hair as you do, you look like you have more hair then anybody!:) gee I hope it grows back in, I like having long thick hair...I have a big head so I don't look good in short sassy hair...I mean, my head isn't SO big that I cut the lights out whenever I walk into a room, but it's kinda big...I'll look like a beach ball with short hair...boo hoo.....

[Forseegood]

I'm getting a wig! going wig shopping this weekend in fact...I wish I had more character, but I'm pretty vain really....oh well...that Barbra Bush look just doesn't work for me...:) and the Barbra Bush look with bozo hair is even triple scary...lol....maybe I'll get less Grey like Andiamo, but I doubt it, my dad was premature Grey, and so am I...but you'd never tell cause I go to a great colorist...boy, am I going to miss her!