we're not only in the same boat, we're in the same bathtub! I think we're starting around the same time, I'm just waiting on my insurance to okay it, or that's what the NP says anyway...everyone says this is the worst time, the anticipation, so I'm trying to go as positive as I can, listening to many positive mediations...
what I'm doing is a lot of meditating, buying really nice things for my place (realize not everyone can do that) listening to really enjoyable music, and having my place really deep cleaned, (Pigeonica told me about this woman she knows that every so often, she hires those people who clean crime scenes? they do a much better job at cleaning then a service or a cleaning lady, but maybe that's going too far, even for me, lol....
rearranging furniture, got some beautiful new towels and bath things, everything to make myself feel better, and nothing tops shopping! lol...just kidding, a little bit anyway:) I bought a few of those plush blankets cause of the "chills" thing, and an electric blanket, though I always run hot...and a humidifier....my plants should like that....
....I'm stocking up on lots of stuff to watch on TV, box sets of favorite tv shows, etc....I'm buying a lot of comedy, on CD and DVD...I'm even getting a last tint on my hair this week, for old times sake, cause I have a feeling, that not tinting my hair for a long time is going to make me look like the Blair Witch Project..:)
If anyone women are reading this that knows the score, how many of you tinted your hair while on TX? I know it's not recommended, even though the tint I use is mostly veggie based, I know it has at least SOME chemicals in it, so I think I'll forgo it, and I might not even feel like going to the salon anyway, although it's mostly just women and gay guys anyway, so who cares who sees me there/ lol....but I just want to know some takes on this, and when did you guys feel okay about tinting your hair again? My hair! My hair! I know I sound so shallow, but I am!!! lol....
I would never hit a woman. But...SNAP OUT OF IT!!!!!!
There's people doing it for 72 weeks. People doing it their second, third, fourth time. People who's relapsed and are gearing up to do it again (like me). People who are in their fourth stage and would probably trade spots with you in a heartbeat. Your life doesn't stop while you're on treatment. It changes but it doesn't stop. Do you think you have an alternative? I don't think so! Look Trish, you got all the support right here. You're not in this fight alone. Grit your teeth, take that step, and get on with your journey. We'll be with you all the way.
Yeah.. I know. I was embarrassed almost as soon as I hit "Post Comment". Some forums have the ability to delete your own posts and I was fervently wishing this was one of them. Maybe I should have journalled that one where nobody could see it. It's really not like me on the whole to whine and complain but there it is in black and white. I guess it's knowing that this is only the beginning and I could end up being one of those 72 week persons and that this begins the total journey into the unknown for gosh knows how long. Oh well. It will be what it will be. Thanks for the slap upside the head. I respond best to those. Go figure. And seems guys are good for that. Thanks Teuf, I needed that.
Forsee...been there, done that. Got all my little plans in place..got my launch party planned out.. St. Paddy's Day road race and then off I go.. all that. Just being a total wuss today. Maybe cause I just finished my period. Yeah, that's it. Fall back on the typical excuse. It's my hormones.
Forsee...I did the positive gig. I was WAY positive...rolling in positive. And for some reason, the postponement knocked the legs right out from under me. Having posted my whiny wienie little complaint, I've embarrassed myself sufficiently to kick my OWN a$$..and along with Teuf's slap upside the head... I think I'll just stop being a wuss and get 'er done. That's all she wrote. (As if, eh?)
maybe it's a male vs female thing, God knows, but I don't think people should be criticized for whining once in awhile, or just being plain scared, it's not like you make a thread about this every 4 hours....I think it's Mike Simon that has said, whatever YOUR pain is, it's your pain, something to that effect, and he's had a transplant....I know it's probably just a style thing, and it was meant supportively so I'm not criticizing anyone either, but whine all you want, if people got tagged for whining here, there'd be 4 people left...just my take...this is some scary stuff, but like was said, I do get a lot out of the people who have gone before me.
I think Teuf had an idea that I really DID need a slap upside the head. I really DO respond to those. At least my grandmother sure thought so. She gave me plenty.
You're a sweetheart, Forsee. We're all such a good balance for each other here. And yeah... I think it's a male/female thing. I ALWAYS go to my male friends when I need a quick slap up side the head. When I just need to vent and get it out and be able to say how I feel.. nothing better than girlfriends for that. And lucky me... I got both on this thread. :)
Can't think of anyone nicer to share the bathtub with than you, Forsee. :)
yeah, I think youre right, it's just a different style trying to accomplish the same thing...but not to be too picky...I've read (not great) studies regarding men and women, and that women tend to do better in some ways as it pertains to things like this, cause they do share more emotionally with each other, and men tend to keep it in...but I realize I'm just nitpicking...lol...if we were all the same, how boring would that be?
Forgot one thing, stock up on the Turlet Paper. I think I-horn would be really upset if this was on the list, me! I had 136 rolls on hand at the start of tx, lol!
actually, I'm looking forward to that...I spend A LOT of money on natural constipation products, maybe trade problems for a change...:)
Well forsee...you know...I'm trying to be brave here and a slap upside the head does snap me out of it...but I'm going to level with you. I meant what I said in my first post. It's my own grief based on my own situation in life. I have put plenty on hold for the sake of raising my kids .. and I thought when I was done, it would be MY time. And here it is.. MY time...and then this comes along. I have to put my career aspirations on hold, my lovelife on hold and everything else. And it seems that's all I've been doing my whole life. So I think I really do need to grieve.. and then I know I'll get to that place of solace where I'll just accept what lies ahead and get to it again. I've dealt with plenty in my life and my modus operandi is one of always looking for the positive and a healthy dose of realistic optimism. And it just wasn't there today and this has been creeping up on me for awhile. And today, it just hit me hard because I can't escape this anymore..and there it is.
Thanks for listening. Thanks for caring. It means alot to me.
Toilet paper... lmao :) Oh wait.. not toilet paper.. TURLET paper. Thanks for the laugh, G. Always a good antidote. :)
It took me around 6 months once I was diagnosed to actually start treatment, but once I did I was like...bring it on!...Then all matter of stuff happened, and I did my share of whining on this board. Everyone was so supportive and I didn't feel so alone. So it's ok to whine. Lot's of ups and downs during tx. My hair has alot more grey in it then I ever would have thought! I just consider them highlights..LOL ..until I'm done with treatment, then it's bring on the color!
Wishing you both the best during tx and beyond!