Somebody tell a joke

[TripleCrown]

I feel itchy, cranky and the last thing I want to do tonight is take another handful of pills. Please share something that gave you a laugh.

[Trish77]

An old man walked to his bus stop and sat on the bench waiting for his bus to arrive.  Sitting on the bench next to him was a young man with a wild mohawk of all different colours.  The old man stared at the young fellow until finally, the young fellow said "What's the matter, old man?  Never done anything wild in your life?"  The old man replied "I had sex with a peacock once.  I was wondering if you were my son."

[TripleCrown]

Thanks trish! That was funny! Lol(*^_^*)

[Lifenet62]

Lolololol

[Bill1954]

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Hepatitis-Social/I-am-losing-the-hair-on-my-back-from-TX--very-distraught/show/1292270?controller=posts&action=show&id=#%3CSubject:0x00000028f6bf08%3E

[MsDragonSlayer]

OMG, I LMAO....thanks so much Bill, I needed that too!
Triple Crown...i hope you dont have back hair problems!
caroyn

[TripleCrown]

Hahaha! Thanks! Lol(*^o^*)

[BigDaddy_59]

A pharmaceutical rep for Vertex' Incivek was seated  next to a little girl on the  airplane when rep turned to  her and said, 'Let's  talk. I've heard that flights go quicker  if you strike up a  conversation with your fellow  passenger.'

The little girl, who had just  opened her book, closed  it slowly and said to the rep,  'OK, What would you like to  talk about?'

'Oh, I  don't know,' said the rep.  'How  about the new revolutionary treatments for Hepatitis C?' and she smiles.

Thanks Bill and Dave for the laugh. I'm keeping the link for that one when I need a giggle!

'OK, ' she said.  'That could be  an interesting topic.  But let me ask you a question  first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all  eat the same stuff - grass - . Yet a  deer excretes little pellets, while a  cow turns out a flat patty, and a  horse produces clumps of dried grass.  Why do you suppose that is?'  

The rep, visibly surprised by  the little girl's  intelligence, thinks about it and says,  'Hmmm, I have no idea.'

To  which the little girl replies, How is it you think you are really qualified to discuss Hepatitis C treatments when you  don't know s**t?'

[Dee1956]

With all the lotions potions laying around for sx, I brushed my teeth with Ben Gay. ARRGGHH!!!!

[Dee1956]

Just read the others, they are funny!
Thanks I am itchy and cranky and sure could use the giggle you all gave me
Thanks
Dee

[scoleman]

I had to look up what a merkin was.  Thanks for the education :)

Sherry

[curiouslady1]

This is not a joke but I thought it was worth passing along anyway.  It is a murmuration of starlings and was posted recently on the net by two young film makers who happened upon it while out and about in their native Ireland.  Just click on the links marked "murmuration" to the vimeo to see the brief natural phenomenon.  I think it is awesome.  

www.islandsandrivers.co.uk

[TripleCrown]

I love this video. I am a huge birder and have a bird feeder and bird bath. Their antics always is always good at diverting my mind away from the trials of the day.
Thanks.

[Kathy73]

My favorite joke.

Two brother alligators down in the bayou are having a conversation. Skinny alligator says to brother fat alligator "How do you stay so fat and healthy?" Fat alligator says "What are you eating?" Skinny alligator says "Well you know that law firm over there on the edge of the bayou? I go over there, hide under an Mercedes and when a lawyer comes out I grab him, shake the **** out of him and eat him." Fat alligator "That's your problem, if you shake the **** out of him all you have left is lips and a briefcase!"

[hrsepwrguy]

ROTFLMAO great thread

[hrsepwrguy]

"With all the lotions potions laying around for sx, I brushed my teeth with Ben Gay. ARRGGHH!!!! ."

Some how I think it still might taste better than the nasty taste from incivek that I can't seem to shake even brushing and using mouth wash 4 to 5 times a day

[Dee1956]

That's pretty funny, it took forever to get the Benga taste to go away
I must really be having problems with my mind, I bought some biotene mouth spray that is supposed to help with  dry mouth.  So, mouth is dry and I picked up a spray bottle of cortaid for itching body and sprayed it in my mouth, now that was nasty!  My tongue hasn't given me a problem since lol

Now the Ben gay was really nasty. mu cousin thought it was pretty funny and since Triple Crown was looking for something to laugh at I was hoping I could help, even just a little.  Or...am I the on person with Brain Fog?

[hrsepwrguy]

  So, mouth is dry and I picked up a spray bottle of cortaid for itching body and sprayed it in my mouth, now that was nasty!  My tongue hasn't given me a problem since lol

Way to funny, thanks for sharing your follies made me laugh so hard my stomach hurts

[TripleCrown]

A comedian is on stage and she says,
My mouth is so dry....
The audience shouts,
How dry is it?
My mouth is so dry...
I could groom a cat.
I could dry the dishes with my tongue.
I could describe my tongue as a sham-wow!
[ insert something actually funnier than my lame attempts here ]

[Goodlaugh]

One week ago I learned i have hcv  i apparently contacted it from infected blood from two transfusions in 1973, after nearly bleeding to death after the birth if my second child 38 years ago. Needless to say, It was not easy to take.  This just isn't right!  I have spent nearly every waking minute and think I have
Moved from shock to disbelief to fear to acceptance. Educating myself was
The best thing to do. Dr is scheduling a biopsy soon and we are planning to begin tx(see? I'm even picking up shortcuts!) after the first of the year
I have Looked at many forums about hcv and could see no apparent
Benefit from following them let alone responding to one. I just happened onto this one an hour ago and have to tell you-you made my day. Trash, your approach to your difficult morning was so encouraging to me (it's all about attitude, I've read. But this is the first time I've actually seen a good one!  Thank you, everyone else for your hilarious input. Lol  i tried to share a couple with my husband but was laughing so hard I was crying. Oh, wait, I was really crying. Good healthy emotions just bubbling out.  That was pretty healthy. I hadn't cried over this news yet. Sorry to be so detailed, but wanted to share this healing moment with you

I think I will be back

[Goodlaugh]

Sorry, it was you I wanted to thank for the
Great attitude and everyone else for the responses

[Goodlaugh]

So sorry about your name. Auto spell got me.

[Trish77]

No worries....it happens from time to time. :-\

[Trish77]

This is one of my favourites...for obvious reasons, being a Canuck. :)

Divert Your Course

This is the actual conversation of a U.S. Naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995.  Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations, 10-10-95.

Canadians:  Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

Americans:  Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision.

Canadians:  Negative.  You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

Americans:  This is the Captain of a U.S. Navy ship.  I say again, divert YOUR course.

Canadians:  No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.

Americans:  This is the aircraft carrier US LINCOLN, the second largest ship in the United States Atlantic fleet.  We are accompanied with three Destroyers, three Cruisers and numerous support vessels.  I DEMAND that you change your course 15 degrees north, or counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.

Canadians:  This is a lighthouse.  Your call.

[belle19]

welcome to the forum.  there are a lot of great people here.  my cyber friends have been very helpful for me.  ask a lot of questions about tx if you are going that route.  good luck with whatever you decide.  take care.  belle