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I've just been told by some one I'm dating she has HSV-2
Someone I've been dating for a month just recently informed me that she has type 2 HSV. To date we have had no sexual contact that involves our genitals or mouth. I have read up on the virus and find that its the stigma that presents the largest problem with people who carry the virus.
Most of the literature downplays the condition as no more than a skin rash and, depending on which research you read, anywhere from 10 to 25% of people already have it. But what I don't see addressed is the position of the person who does not have it pursuing a relationship with some one that does. From what I have learned, it will be transmitted to me at some point, it may takes months or years. That is of course if I don't already have it. And considering that 50% of marriages end in divorce, my guess is even a greater number of relationships end. This will leave me in the position of having to explain to any new sexual partners that I have the virus, a position I would not like to be be in (as she expressed clearly to me the fact that she does not like the position she's in). I feel absolutely horrible to even have these thoughts, she is a wonderful person but there is no guarantee that we will make it in the long run at this early point of our relationship.
So I guess my question is, is it fair to say I will contract the virus at some point in a long term relationship, regardless of following all the recommended precautions? And secondly, is there any good advice for someone who does hot have the virus on how to how to respond with this new development so early into our relationship?
Most of the literature downplays the condition as no more than a skin rash and, depending on which research you read, anywhere from 10 to 25% of people already have it. But what I don't see addressed is the position of the person who does not have it pursuing a relationship with some one that does. From what I have learned, it will be transmitted to me at some point, it may takes months or years. That is of course if I don't already have it. And considering that 50% of marriages end in divorce, my guess is even a greater number of relationships end. This will leave me in the position of having to explain to any new sexual partners that I have the virus, a position I would not like to be be in (as she expressed clearly to me the fact that she does not like the position she's in). I feel absolutely horrible to even have these thoughts, she is a wonderful person but there is no guarantee that we will make it in the long run at this early point of our relationship.
So I guess my question is, is it fair to say I will contract the virus at some point in a long term relationship, regardless of following all the recommended precautions? And secondly, is there any good advice for someone who does hot have the virus on how to how to respond with this new development so early into our relationship?
Herpes is merely a skin condition physically, but its psychological ramifications can be terrible for some people due to the stigma. There's no definitive answer regarding whether or not you will contract it even if precautions are taken. I've seen individuals get it from a first encounter while I've also seen people who've been married for 20+ years where one partner never contracted it from the other.
Everyone's body is different and shedding rates and outbreaks are different in each individual. HSV-2 sheds 15-30% of days, and even though condoms/suppressive antivirals drastically reduce that number, I'd would not bank on that 1% chance.
It really comes down to you, and if you can see yourself living with herpes because the risk is there although its minimal. Would you be able to not think about contracting herpes obsessively after each sexual encounter? Is this girl someone you see a future with? No one can make this decision besides you.
To me, herpes is a not a big deal, and I compare it to acne and eczema because it is a skin condition that comes and goes. I wanted to provide you with another perspective because it is ultimately you who will make this decision. Until then, here's a link to the Herpes Handbook, which is written by Herpes Expert, Terri Warren. It'll provide answers to other questions that you probably have.
http://westoverheights.com/handbook.html
Everyone's body is different and shedding rates and outbreaks are different in each individual. HSV-2 sheds 15-30% of days, and even though condoms/suppressive antivirals drastically reduce that number, I'd would not bank on that 1% chance.
It really comes down to you, and if you can see yourself living with herpes because the risk is there although its minimal. Would you be able to not think about contracting herpes obsessively after each sexual encounter? Is this girl someone you see a future with? No one can make this decision besides you.
To me, herpes is a not a big deal, and I compare it to acne and eczema because it is a skin condition that comes and goes. I wanted to provide you with another perspective because it is ultimately you who will make this decision. Until then, here's a link to the Herpes Handbook, which is written by Herpes Expert, Terri Warren. It'll provide answers to other questions that you probably have.
http://westoverheights.com/handbook.html
you can get your risk down to 1%/year of contracting hsv2 from your partner. why would you avoid a relationship for that small of risk? The risk of pregnancy while only using the pill is 8%/year. would you avoid a relationship from the fear of pregnancy?
have you been tested yet to know your own herpes status?
grace
have you been tested yet to know your own herpes status?
grace
You are reading content posted in the Herpes Community
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
