Help Genital herpes

[Helpmeplease345]

Hey so I recently found out my partner has genital herpes. So before that we make out a bunch of time and I even gave her unprotected oral for maybe a minute. We had protected sex once for maybe a minute too. She was on top of me so maybe she could’ve got some skin to skin contact. I’m scared. I just got tested today and waiting on result but it has only be 5 days since protected sex and 15 days since unprotected oral. Please help

[auntiejessi]

So first -

If she has genital herpes, she is only contagious from her genitals. Kissing her is not a risk.

How did you find out she has genital herpes?

Let's start there. How did you find out?

[Helpmeplease345]

She told me recently

[Helpmeplease345]

Also right now I have no symptoms

[auntiejessi]

Okay, so do you know if she has genital type 1 or type 2? Does she take any meds? How long has she had it?

Do you have hsv1? I know you have a fear of STIs, and have tested. Have you ever tested for herpes before?

Giving oral to someone with genital herpes is really low risk as long as no risk is present. Herpes doesn't typically go from the genitals to the mouth as easily as it does the other way around.

One minute of protected sex is basically no risk.

If she has genital herpes type 2, and all you do is avoid sex when she has  an outbreak, it's a 4% chance PER YEAR that you'd get it.

[Helpmeplease345]

She does not take any meds, she says she has not have any outbreak in 2 years.  I do not have herpes. I got tested yesterday but I’m guessing that’s way too soon.

[auntiejessi]

Yes, that's way too soon, but calm down. Your risk here is really, really, really low.

The chance that you got herpes from a one time protected encounter is as close to zero as it gets.

For both of your sakes, I hope you don't continue this relationship. Your anxiety can't handle it, and she deserves to find someone who won't panic every time they have sex.

[auntiejessi]

Oh and please don't test again until week 12. There are false positives on the hsv2 IgG test. The more you test, the more likely you are to get one, and your anxiety can not handle that.

It also takes weeks and hundreds of dollars to unravel.

[Helpmeplease345]

You’re right. Thank you. Do you think after my results should I get tested again after a couple of months?

[Helpmeplease345]

Oh sorry okay. I didn’t see your 2nd response

[auntiejessi]

I sincerely believe you didn't have much, if any, risk from this. I just think you won't be able to move on without final testing, so don't test again until 12 weeks.

If you don't get symptoms, normally, I'd tell you not to worry because of the false positives, but I suspect you won't be able to let it go.

[Helpmeplease345]

Thanks a lot. You’re very knowledgeable and been helpful. You’re right about not being able to let go, I should see help and find ways to help my anxiety.

[auntiejessi]

Yes, therapy and talking to your doctor about possible treatments would be a great help.

[Helpmeplease345]

Hey just a follow up quick question, since I already tested pretty soon, does my result even matters ?

[auntiejessi]

Well, it's a good baseline. If it's negative now, and positive later, you know it's a new infection.

If it's a low positive, it could be a false positive, or a new infection that is just developing, and testing at 12 weeks will give you a better idea of that.

It's not a wasted test, it's just not conclusive.

[Helpmeplease345]

Hey auntiejessi. So today I developing a flu, do you think they’re related or just coincidence? My test came back negative but obviously it’s was way too soon.

[Helpmeplease345]

With symptoms such as headache, runny nose, cough, sore throat, fever

[auntiejessi]

No - herpes doesn't cause a runny nose or a cough. Test for covid, the flu, etc.

Maybe it's allergies. It's not herpes.

When we say flu-like symptoms with herpes, we mean achy, tired, maybe a headache, maybe a fever. It's not all the flu symptoms.

Feel better.