Bomb dropped by new boyfriend

[Worried0884]

I just started dating a man with whom I have great chemistry with. I can see myself falling in love with him in the future, however we are only one month in. I rarely get this excited about a man, which makes this particularly difficult for me to deal with. On our last date he very openly told me he has herpes. He explained what it was and that even with condoms, I am at risk if we have a sexual relationship. He told me he hasn't had an outbreak in two years and does not take daily medication for it. He recommended that I speak with my doctor and seek government funded websites for additional information. The fact that he told me this, so openly, speaks volumes of his character. I understand it's a common virus and I realize that I haven't always been 100% safe in sexual relationships in my past- but I was lucky and did not contract this virus. I DO NOT WANT HERPES! Is there anyway I can have a sexual relationship with him? For now, since we are so new, I've taken sex off the table as an option and decided to continue to get to know him. But I'm scared. And worried. And disappointed. Any advice?

[Worried0884]

I'm no where near love yet. I just thought he could be the type of person who I could love.

[Worried0884]

The ONLY thing I am disappointed about is the fact that I have to make the decision of staying with him and living with the possibility of getting herpes or walking away to protect myself (knowing statistically someone down the line could be less courteous and not tell me at all)

[Life360_Dave]

Hi, there is not cure for herpes, so you will always be at risk for contracting it. Even with no sore there is shedding where the virus is at the surface anywhere from below his waist that could have the virus present.
It travels in the ganglion, which is the nerve highway throughout the below waist area.
Find out if he has hsv1 or 2 as one is less threatening than the other. Also condoms will not prevent the risk for contracting. Using condoms and taking antivirals can dramaticly reduce the risk but not all together.

[Ariel_21]

Don't be disappointed because he has it. Or are you disappointed for another reason? I would say you do as much research as you can. To get information about herpes. It's always hard to come out and tell someone you have herpes. If you really feel like he's the one and y'all can go a long way. Make it work. Best of luck!