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Relationships with Herpes II
I'm a 48 yr. old woman. I began a relationship seven months ago after many years of being alone. My (ex-)boyfriend (age 59) is extremely concerned with health, with disease prevention, and, as it turned out, with STDs. He is a practicing cardiologist in Canada. I believed I did not have any STDs. I was certain I did not. He insisted I have a blood test for STDs including genital herpes and it turned out that I do have herpes 2. Based on past relationships, I must have had this for somewhere between 14 and 28 years. My boyfriend was not able to handle this. He ended the relationship. We parted well, telling each other that we loved the other and wished the other well. I have no relationship and now this knowledge that, as far as I'm concerned, I never needed to know. I haven't been reading this forum and this has probably been asked, but, plainly, I want to know, is it worth throwing away what we both agreed was the love of our lives over genital herpes? A friend of mine who also has this condition says it's nothing, it's a "non-issue." Can reasonable minds disagree about this?
yes I agree, it's hsv2 genitally most likely from the + lesion culture that wasn't typed and your hsv2 + blood test. thank you for providing that info for me.
Definitely this partner is unreasonable which is pretty ironic considering he's a physician :( At this point all you can do is mourn the end of that relationship and concentrate on yourself and move forward. There is a partner out there who won't care about your herpes! The rates of hsv2 infection are the same in canada as in the US - at your age that's 1 out of 3. It's very common , just no one talks about it and not many folks get properly tested for it either.
keep asking questions!
Definitely this partner is unreasonable which is pretty ironic considering he's a physician :( At this point all you can do is mourn the end of that relationship and concentrate on yourself and move forward. There is a partner out there who won't care about your herpes! The rates of hsv2 infection are the same in canada as in the US - at your age that's 1 out of 3. It's very common , just no one talks about it and not many folks get properly tested for it either.
keep asking questions!
thank you grace, whoever you are (I haven't read info about you yet), for your kind words to me. i have so much to learn about this, yet. don't understand it all very well yet. i think i do have it. I came back from our first trip. I'd had sex after not having had sex for many years. I noticed an irritation genitally. Normally it's not the kind of thing i would have really noticed or worried about. but because he was so concerned about stds and since i was going to have a blood test anyway, i went to the doctor. he tested the spot on the vulva and did a blood test. the blood test says HSV 2 IgG Type Spec and the numbers are 3.35. however, the culture says "HSV Culture Without Typing" and "Positive Abnormal." the blood test for HSV 1 IgG Type Spec is <0.91. So I don't have Herpes 1 and the culture, even though not type specific, must be for genital herepes 2. Is this right? i spoke with someone at the Univ of Wash in Seattle at the research center, I think that this here is somehow affiliated with, and she said that with the culture the test was probably right then. I don't think I can get around this. As for my ex, he's phobic. He doesn't see his fear as a psychiatric issue. He believes it's reasonable. He's afraid of herpes encephalitis. He's afraid he could get sores inside his urethra and not be able to pee or have it be extremely painful to pee. He can't handle the stigma. He says he would be ashamed, etc...
thank you so much for whatever you can add to this
thank you so much for whatever you can add to this
first off, can you get the herpes test results to post here? I just need to see the numeric results - ie hsv1 igg 4.5 and hsv2 igg 3.6 or whatever they are. Most herpes testing in canada isn't type specific so making sure you were properly tested and don't need additional confirmatory testing is the first step.
If you had hsv2 and your partner didn't, if you did absolutely nothing but avoid sex any time you had anything going on genitally, he was 96% likely each year NOT to contract hsv2 from you. if you also took daily suppressive therapy, his risk was 98% likely each year NOT to contract hsv2 from you. Throw in condoms too and he is 99% likely each year on average not to contract hsv2 from you. very reasonable odds with not a whole lot of extra effort.
it's really unfortunate that your ex bf who has access to all the herpes info out there, didn't take the time to better educate himself as to his low risk :(
grace
If you had hsv2 and your partner didn't, if you did absolutely nothing but avoid sex any time you had anything going on genitally, he was 96% likely each year NOT to contract hsv2 from you. if you also took daily suppressive therapy, his risk was 98% likely each year NOT to contract hsv2 from you. Throw in condoms too and he is 99% likely each year on average not to contract hsv2 from you. very reasonable odds with not a whole lot of extra effort.
it's really unfortunate that your ex bf who has access to all the herpes info out there, didn't take the time to better educate himself as to his low risk :(
grace
You are reading content posted in the Herpes Community
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
