transmission question

[waterwater]

Hi Terri, i was just wondering if i could ask you a few questions about genital herpes type 1. i contracted it quite a few years ago from an ex boyfriend. i had a primary outbreak with flu like systems, swollen glands etc. it was awful! since then i never had another outbreak. i have gone on to have 2 children. earlier this year, i took some steroidal asthma treatment, not knowing that this is a common trigger for reoccurrence. i had what i thought was thrush- and during that time shared a bath with my 2 young children, as i had done with them since birth. i later discovered that it was actually a herpes outbreak that i was having. a couple of weeks later my older child developed oral herpes. as you can imagine, this has been extremely upsetting for me. i feel like i gave it to him and i carry a lot of guilt. my doctor has convinced me that it was a coincidence and he more likely got it from his pre-school or other children. i came on the internet and i just can't seem to get a straight answer about sharing a bath during an outbreak. is there any chance at all that i have now given my other child genital herpes from sharing the bath with me? i am so anxious and worried. do children ever get genital herpes? am i being irrational? there was definitely no skin to skin contact in the bath, we were well away from each other but can it spread through the water. please help me. i have ordered your book and am waiting for it to arrive. thank you

[Terri Warren, RN, Adult Nurse Practitioner]

Yes, you are correct about the need for firm contact for transmission to occur.  

It is too bad you have to wait a while, but just keep reminding yourself daily of things we've discussed when you start to worry.  Another option would be to set aside a time each day to worry about this, but not allow yourself to worry at other times.  Set aside 15 minutes at some point during the day, and worry, worry worry, but don't let youself worry until its time.  It sound zany but works sometimes.

Terri

[waterwater]

Hi terri, i know i said i would keep away but i just have one more point that i need to understand so that i can get my head around all this. i have been reading up some more on hsv genital- and is the reason that it is only transmitted sexually because it needs to be rubbed in quite vigorously to the mucous membranes? is this why it would not be spread through the bath water i.e.. it needs the actual vigour of the sexual act to transmit? does that make sense?
i am so looking forward to seeing the psychologist. its just a shame i have to wait so long! just want to make sure i am armed with as many facts about the virus as possible so that i can get a handle on my thinking once and for all.

[waterwater]

thanks Terri. you have me in tears here. you are so right, about everything. i am so worried i have ruined my children's life. i will never bath with them again after this. i know that i am missing out on time with them and that i can never get this back. this whole thing has just been so upsetting for me. the bathing incident occurred 9 months ago and i am still obsessing over it! its awful. you understand it, your children mean everything to you, they really do.

so to conclude this, you are saying that there would not have been enough virus available in a bathtub of water to infect them?

i know i seem crazy. they have shown no genital symptoms in 9 months since the bath and i still wake up each day thinking they will have it.

I'm really hoping i can get a handle on this soon too and move on with my life. I'm looking forward to seeing the psychologist in the new year, and printing out and taking all your words with me.

thanks Terri for all your help.

[Terri Warren, RN, Adult Nurse Practitioner]

I'm so glad are you pursuing psychological help.  Clearly, this is about anxiety, not about medicine and science.  

When you're a mom, your biggest fear in life is that something would happen to your children. When I let my  mind go there, that they could be hurt or die, I could just throw up or start crying, just thinking about it. So in this situation, not only are you thinking about your child being hurt, but you doing it!  I think that's what makes it so awful to think about, that combination is pretty disturbing.  OK, we have that part of it figured out I think.

But the other part is what is the LIKELIHOOD that that has happened or would happen in the future.  Well, we can take the future away because this has freaked you out so much, you'll probably never bath with her again (unfortunately, in my opinion).  So we are left with a single incident.  How many virus particles do you think we in the tub vs how much water?  Millions of time dilution, if there even was virus, certainly not enough to infect anyone, that's for sure.  Frankly, you have no idea if either of you actually had herpes at the time, not an outbreak for you and not oral herpes for her!    You've made so many jumps in your thinking that aren't logical.  And in the meanwhile, you are missing quality time with your child, worrying about this, distancing yourself with this.  You can't get this time back, not ever.  I really hope you can get a handle on this irrational fear, and quickly.

Terri

[waterwater]

hi terri, I've decided that I'm not going to look on the internet anymore about herpes as i feel that it may be adding to my anxiety. i realise at this point, that this is more of an anxiety issue than a herpes issue, which is why i am enlisting the help of a psychologist to get me through this. this will be my last post on this thread, i just wondered if there was anything else you could add here that would help to reassure me that my children have not been infected with genital herpes. i will be printing this whole thread out and taking it to my psychologist to discuss in my appointment in early january. any help you could give me or anything that you think you could add here that i could talk over with the psychologist would be much appreciated! thanks so much

[Terri Warren, RN, Adult Nurse Practitioner]

And Happy Holidays to your family as well.

Terri