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Can't Ejaculate during Ejaculate Intercourse/Oral Sex

My wife and I have had this same problem for many years now. My wife is 20 and i'm 22. I do not take any medications, nor do drugs. During intercourse i feel absolutely nothing. I have never been with another partner. During Oral Sex its great but it just doesn't bring me to that final peak. She has performed Oral sex on me for hours longest lasting was six total hours with no breaks. I'm not a chronic Masterbater. I masterbate maybe one - two times a week. I don't enjoy sex with my partner and i'm wondering if its me or her.
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Avatar universal
I apologise in advance for chuckling at your comment that you and your wife, respectively 22 and 20 yrs of age, have had this same problem "for many years".  It made me realise that I have been sexually active 14 years longer than you have been born!  I hope my experience can shed a bit of light on your dilemma.

The fact that you (and I will asume your wife) have never had any other sexual partner, you have nothing to compare the sensations of intercourse to, other than what you experience with your wife.

That aside, I don't know how open-minded or conservative your sexual interests or activities are or how frequent; however, you did acknowledge you only maturbate approximately twice a week. I also don't know your techniques before or during sexual activity.

My personal belief is that you are trying to hard to achieve orgasm and you are psychologically blocking yourself fro doing so. You need to relax and "get into the moment" of making love instead of just having intercourse and striving for an orgasm.

It's not always about the final destination, but the journey that gets you there.

Set the mood - Unplug the phone and turn off the TV. Prepare some "love snacks" in advance (fresh strawberries dipped in chocolate, champaigne), dim the lights, sit scented candles around the bedroom, spritz a little lavender on the sheets, turn on some very low volumed, smooth jazz.

Run a warm bubblebath and give your wife a gentle massage while she relaxes in the tub with you (no sexual groping - just massage her and enjoy touching her skin).  Towel her dry and take her hand and lead her to the bedroom.

Lay her across the bed and simply admire her. Don't touch - just look at her and tell her what you find sexy and appealing about her.

Now you can begin the foreplay.

Explore her body. ALL of it!  Get turned on by running your fingers through her hair, slide your hand over the small of her back and enjoy the curve of her buttocks. Look at her body and how it reacts when you knead her belly and cup her breasts in your hands. Kiss her -  start at her feet and work your way up to a passionate mouth kiss. Feel her skin against yours.

React to her body language. No, you're not ready for intercourse yet. Continue to explore her. Pay attention to the silouette of her curves under the candlelight with massage oils reflecting glints of light and shadows.  

Move down her body and make oral love to her. Talk to her. Tell her what you are looking at, seeing, feeling, smelling, and tasting and how it turns you on.

No, no intercourse yet. When she is writhing under your mouth, don't take her to completion. Let her know that you are ready to feel her warm mouth on you. It's OK to tell her what you like and how you like it.

Tell her - You want long and slow glides along your shaft. Tell her to move her tongue around your glans (head). Tell her how you like your balls fondled. Ask her to massage your perineum (area between your ball-sac and anus) because this will stimulate your prostate and induce the desire to orgasm. Have her place a small vibrating bullet on your perineum - trust me, you WILL enjoy it!

When you have reached a throbbing erection, you are now ready for intercourse! Yippieeeeeeeee!

But, go slow!  Consentrate on how the warmth and wetness of her vaginal opening feels on your head. Don't enter her completely. Just feel her.  

Then very slowly enter her. Think about what you are feeling - the heat, the slipperiness of her, the tightness clenching around you, her body moving under you.

Look into her eyes and talk to her. Tell her what you are feeling. Talking outloud reenforces the experience.

When you feel yourself getting more deeply aroused, pull out. Yes, stop what you are doing and go back to the touching and exploring of her body again. Have her take you orally and talk to her. Talk about how different her mouth feels to you compared to her vagina. Think about her tasting herself on you.

Now, go back to the intercourse. Slowly and passionately make love to her and consentrate on what you are seeing and feeling.

Are you getting the idea?

You need to relax. You need to teach her to take you "to the brink" over and over. You need to learn how your body functions. You need to learn to rcognise what pleasures you. You need to share this information with your wife.

Two very good sites that will teach you about yourselves sexually are:

Sexulaity.org  and  The-Clitoris.com

Once you learn to relax and set the mood, and how your bodies function, you will both better be able to appreciate making love and experience the rewards of it.

If, after experimenting, you continue to have difficulties with delayed ejaculation, I suggest your next step is to consult with a Urologist. If you are too embarrassed to verbally explain your dilemma, write it out on paper and put it an envelope and ask his nurse to give it to him when you sign in for your appointment.

Trust me, I have been a nurse for close to 20 years and there is NOTHING your doctor hasn'r seen or heard. That is their job.

Your "problem" could be something physical and the only way to find out is to present your symptoms to a professional. I suggest your wife bring this to the attention of her Gynocologist as well.

I hope I have given you some insight and that you profit from what I have suggested. I wish you well.

Soymulta





Helpful - 0
139792 tn?1498585650
yes you reas the articles on website.you will find them by reserching the words "inability to reach orgasm" alo serch Kegel Exercises. this will solve your problem. a.
Take help from medical health care peiple.Iniability to reach orgasm is a disorder which will require understanding and treatment and change of attitude.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
She can reach orgasm without any problems its just me... Im the one who just never 'gets done'
Helpful - 0
139792 tn?1498585650
You both are suffering from anorgasmya..Search "inability to reach orgaxym" or www.about.com and serch for Men's problem. you will bind no. of website.alod see "keger exercise" this may also heilp .Sex therapyst can alo help you out.
Helpful - 0
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