Men's Health Community
13.5k Members
Avatar universal

My boyfriend is 24 and has ED

Okay, my boyfriend is 24 and all the time I have known him sex has not been our strong point! Due to him not being able to maintain an erection and premature ejaculation. Ever since I have known him he has had this problem. People I've spoken to have been sympathetic with me but have told me that they wouldn't have stayed with him! We have talked about it and he has been to TWO doctors, blood test etc and there is nothing physically wrong with him. I used to think the problem was his cycling as he used to work as a courier, but he stopped that and only rides at weekends now, so there should be no problem regarding that type of exercise for him!

We are in a long distance relationship, he is in london and I'm in Manchester so that doesn't help. I can't stop thinking about moving on and finding someone else at the moment, it's on my mind a lot! I am 23 and just don't know what to do anymore. Part of me feels though that breaking up with someone over this is shallow... but I don't feel close to him. Sometimes I feel like we're just close friends. He says he loves me but I am not so sure anymore.

I read a valentines card he sent to me earlier today as it was on my shelf and he thanked me for being with him in it ! That's not normal. I'm stuck people! Advice would be appreciated! x

17 Responses
134578 tn?1546634665
You're sure he is straight?  If so, he needs to see a therapist who specializes in sexual issues.
Avatar universal
Hey AnnieBrooke, yeah I am positive he is straight. I think he should see a therapist too, he doesn't seem to be doing anything about it. He did mention it to me once that we could go together, I think he just wanted some support but is that the sort of thing I should be doing at my age really. Not offering support, I meant going to sort out a young man's ed problems. Although I think I would if he would go.

Thanks for ur comment.
134578 tn?1546634665
If it will get him there, I would go.  Unless, of course, you don't really like him enough to be bothered.  Most men would not go for help on this, being locked into fear and shame.  It's very sweet that he asked you.  
Avatar universal
Is he on any type of medication (blood pressure etc) that can cause ED? This may sound weird too, but does he watch porn. I've heard that men that watch porn get high expectations of sex from watching porn and what they see never meets there expectations and ED happens.
1409568 tn?1281504959
aT what time did he start to have sex....seems to me your boyfriend is a late bloomer...and it could be dew to the simple fact that he masterbated to much befor having his first relationship.or./ and  I QUOTE john31055``when he asked``does he watch porn. I've heard that men that watch porn get high expectations of sex from watching porn and what they see Never meets there Expectations ``I think you juste didnt find what turns him on yet, If it is not that....either he is gay or he was a virgin when you met him....OR AT WORST ALL OF THE ABOVE.
Avatar universal
hahahahaha, why not holding you BF's package and squeeze it hard if he doesn't erect that hard maybe your boyfriend has gone sour for you.....better to do some foreplay techniques to spice up a little bit
Avatar universal
im just joking but it works, believe me
1433320 tn?1283430180
People who felt emotionally deprived as children will often "play up" for attention and as a way of seeing if those around them truly care.

In other words, unless you break this cycle, his behaviour will get worse and worse as he tries to "test" how stong your feelings are for him.

If he is truly bi-polar nothing but medication will help, but it could just be he is very emotionally immature. In which case, you've not got a partner you've got a child.
1433348 tn?1283436078
I sure know the feeling, my boyfriend has a very tiny, little bitty penis. So small is his size that his penis and balls look one in the same. Well your boyfriend has something to work with so it must be mental. Have him go talk with someone that knows about this problem. He has to learn how to control himself and learn to make it last until he gets you off. When any man learns how to hold out until his woman reaches her blast off, then will then control all the cards.
1474080 tn?1286996013
hello. i have read your problem and also read all the comments carefully
here is a problem with your boy friend. i am seeing the sickness (Suxtuly) in him. i am saying this because the same condition is here with me and i have to face the very problem to satisfying my wife.
an ordinary treatment is available that he should get the viagra (Saldinafil citrate) 100 mg one tablet at the time of sex. this will make you both happy and satisfy.
Avatar universal
Your BF's ED is either of two things: psychogenic (i.e. relating to his mental attitude to sex including issues such as desire and arousal) or it's organic (i.e. relating to hormones, possible diabetes; medications, vascular disease etc).

Go and see an expert in Men's Health. He/she should order a battery of blood tests and subject your BF to a RigiScan test. This is  a medical device attached to the penis at night to measures erections. It is not painful at all, just a bit inconvenient.

With the above tests performed, the Men's Health expert will conclude if your BF's ED has an organic basis. If not, then he/she will recommend a psychologist who can tease out the reason for your BF's attitude.
Avatar universal
nothing is impossible
Top Men's Health Answerers
1622896 tn?1562368567
London, United Kingdom
139792 tn?1498589250
Indore, India
11369760 tn?1449507972
Southwest , MI
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Get the facts about this disease that affects more than 240,000 men each year.
How to lower your heart attack risk.
Here are 12 simple – and fun! – ways to boost your brainpower.
Sean Cummings discusses which available erectile dysfunction treatments may have the best outcome for you
They got it all wrong: Why the PSA test is imperative for saving lives from prostate cancer
10 prostate cancer misconceptions debunked.