Acceptance

[Eyesnlegs]

Hi All,

I have been thinking about acceptance a lot recently and especially since I now have an opportunity to own a scooter that is light weight and would be there to save my energy (or when I haven’t got the energy) for the walk to the ladies, back to the car or other routine journeys at work. It could also be for personal use too.

My reaction to this offer was “absolutely no way” (or words to that effect and unrepeatable here). The retort was that is the usual way that MSer’s react but after a time you begin to see the sense in saving energy for the things you want to do instead of using it on things which are mundane.  I still kept seeing this as a giving in and not fighting this thing.

My question is not about the scooter but about acceptance of a new state of affairs and grief for what you once were. Does anyone want to offer me any advice?  as this has been filling my mind since I received a copy of the neuropsychologist report which said ‘this lady is sad most of the time’.

Any offers?

Pat

[shoshin]

I don't think I can add much to all the eloquent replies that you've already received, but it often seems to me that the thing that makes it hardest to accept the ravages of MS is that it just keeps going. It seems like as soon as I get used to one thing and make some sort of truce with it, another thing comes along to mess up my world.

There has been some research that suggests that people have a happiness setpoint (sort of like they talk about a weight setpoint). Not that it is impossible to reset and it is only very partially determined by external circumstances, but they have found that the effects of even major external changes are not lasting. The happiness levels of both people who won a lot of money in the lottery and people who were paralyzed from a spinal injury temporarily experienced a dramatic change. But after a year, they were both more or less back at their baseline. The thing with MS is that it's a moving target so I don't know if you can ever really come to acceptance and go back to baseline.

I read a couple of autobiographical books about people with MS who experienced drastic physical limitations due to the disease. Both of them describe this experience of recursively struggling with new limitations and coming to some peace with them. They both said that over time they were able to adapt to things that in the beginning they couldn't even bear to contemplate and thought they could never take. One of them actually seemed to think this gradual stepwise approach was easier than sudden dramatic disability. Both of the books were testimonies to the power of the human spirit in the face of difficult situations and loss. All of us have to find that place of strength in ourselves somehow.

I hope you are able to use the scooter to your benefit.

sho

[Eyesnlegs]

You truly are a star!

To be honest when I saw Ren's suugestion, you immediately came to mind as your pastorial role here is so appropriate.

Thank you

(((hugs)))
Pat
x

[PastorDan]

Yes, Pat, I felt ren's idea was a great one, and if I can find the time and energy over the next few days, I will take a shot at editing this thread into a health page.  There are some good thoughts here, and it's a great topic for this group.  If anyone has an objection to their writing or their nickname being used, just drop me a message.  Otherwise, I'll try to be sure that proper attribution is used... Unless I forget! ;)

[Eyesnlegs]

Wobbly I have sent you a note,

Ren what a great idea. I have just checked out the health pages and have found 2 that offer a brief insight into some of this but do not entirely cover the whole acceptance topic.

The first is the one on Depression and MS and there is a section in there about The Situational Depression of Living with MS written by Quix.

http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Multiple%20Sclerosis/Depression-and-MS/show/752?cid=36

The second is the health page on Emotions and MS

http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Multiple%20Sclerosis/Emotions-and-MS/show/753?cid=36

Both of these are great resources but I feel that acceptance is another topic all on its own of which the emotional and situational depression play a part to. Anyone else think this may be worth a Health Page?

[rendean]

This thread is amazing with so much good advice and wisdom. Perhaps this should be part of the Health Pages when everyone has had a chance to contirbute.

It certainly is inspiring and is a very good picture of what everyone here, diagnosed or not, goes through at one time or another.

Just my two cents in my struggle with acceptance.

Ren

[Wobbly]

Hi.. I just wanted to say that I might be heading in that direction quite quickly... my legs are not working very well at all and I'm not accepting that.. when I wake up in the morning.... I say to myself, OK TODAY IS THE DAY THAT I WILL WALK LIKE I USED TOO... but sadly I see that I cannot.

take care hon
wobbly
dx