Living wills/power of attorney??????

[Sparkysarah]

Having been reading the great post about all of our fears, Audrey's one prompted me to start a new thread.

What are people's feelings about this as I am not sure. I am going to see my solicitor soon to set up a power of attorney. My understanding is that through this I can give my huband the authority to make medical decisions on my behalf. However there is also the option to set up a living will and I am not sure how this differs (and I know all this will be explained by the solicitor).

At the moment I have good quality of life and I want to enjoy every day. If I was in a car crash and critical...I would want to be saved..I have too much I still want to do with my life. However if my quality of life had deteriorated and I was using a feeding tube, could not walk, go to the loo on my own or do anything...then if I had a heart attack it would be a blessing I would happily take the path that God has chosen for me.

How many people have set up living wills and or powers of attorney?

Love Sarah x

[Cosmobirdy]

I have both a living will and durable power of attorney for health care - I did them about a year ago or so.  You can go online and print out the necessary documents for whatever state you live in.  There was also a site I found with a booklet you can get called "Five Wishes."  It goes over all the issues involved with living wills and health care power of attorney in plain english - it's a great thing to have to make sure all choices are clearly understood.  In some states it is even considered a legal document, but not in mine.  I just have it as an additional thing.

I have also discussed my wishes with my husband and kids, so everyone is clear on what I do and don't want and why - that way there would be no surprises if something were to go bad.  (I have now been on Tysabri for 2 years, and am well aware of the risks.)  I have it set up so that my husband would make decisions if I am unable to, but he obviously would also discuss them with the children as well.  

The family doesn't like to hear these things, but I don't want anyone to ever be in the position of making difficult decisions, trying to guess what I might want.  I don't want anyone I love to be burdened with that kind of responsibility - having to make those kind of choices at what would already be a difficult time.  

I hope and pray these documents are never needed, but it brings me alot of comfort to know they are there.  I have very strong feelings about these issues, and the situations I don't want to ever wind up in.  I have also given copies of these documents to both my family doctor and my neurologist, (they are now part of my records), and I have had a frank discussion with each of my docs as well.  

I have even broached the subject of whether or not I would want plasmaphoresis if I were unfortunate enough to get PML with my neurologist.  He was not too keen on discussing that one, lol.  Some people think these things are kind of morbid, but I am a very realistic person, and I spent my whole life working in the medical field, so I saw some very sad situations....ones I don't ever want to wind up in.

Thanks for posting this question - I think it will be very interesting to hear people's thoughts on this!

Bye for now,
Rita

  

[HVAC]

In NC you can go to the State attorney general website and get living wills, power of attorney and wills for free all you have to do is have two witnesses and notarize them after filling them out.

I have also looked into donating my body to research since the only true way to look at MS is after death. I guess because I worked Veterinary Medicine I believe in quality of life for myself it is a very personal thing.

There is something empowering to me to have control of my body. I am not saying I would take actions but I like the option. It makes me less fearful of dependency.

My problem is even doing a will freaks my husband out. He thinks something will happen. I feel at a certain age it is just the responsible thing to do waht ever your wishes are.

Alex

[essdipity]

It is such a human thing to want to avoid talking about such things. There's superstition, which though unreasonable is very understandable. There's just avoidance of negative subjects. My own father, an attorney all his working life, died suddenly and without a will. He otherwise was a very rational person.

As has been mentioned here, there are lots of ways to get these 'final wishes' things accomplished. Many websites make this possible. I agree that the first thing to do is to search your state or local government sites to find out what is required and what is legal. After that, get the forums and follow the instructions.

When my long marriage broke up about 15 years ago, I bought some inexpensive software and made a new standard will, thus canceling the one we had together. I sent copies to several family members, and included a letter about burial wishes. Also included a living will for medical emergencies and power of attorney documents.

Now if anything unexpected happens to me, my family will know what to do, and will not have to go through the agony of guessing or second guessing. That's one thing I can spare them.

ess

[Lulu54]

Sarah,
The living will allows you to define the conditions and terms for which you would want extraordinary/heroic medical care to be given in the event you cannot speak for yourself.  I believe a family member can object and their feelings overrule the living will, but I may be wrong.  At least it allows you to state what you would want.

I am going to assume there  is something similar to this in the UK.  

I have both durable power of attorney and living will forms completed for myself and DH.

It is a good question and discussion to have here and at home with our families.

be well, Lulu

[RedFlame]

This is really an important topic.  I have been thinking about this alot in the past year.  I
I have a will and a living will.  I also have a durable medical power of attorney set up with the person that I love and trust to make decisions for me.  All of this cost me $500.00 USD. with an attorney.

Now I have noticed my thinking has changed.  All of the terms in my document were created when I was a trim woman that was a biking/hiking/dancing/rollerblading/walking fool.  Now my values and thinking have changed.  

Whereas before I didn't want to live as a quad, maybe it would depend on exactly where the cord injury was.  If it's T1 or something it's OK.  

I don't know how I will work mine but it will be different than it is now.  It's easy when we are young to make these sweeping statements.  Much different on this side.  

I saw a video of two women with end stage MS (I guess it would be called that) who were not just quads, all they could use was their face.  A dot between there eyes interfaced with a light on the computer to act as a mouse.  The video was an eye opener to me.  

I'm looking forward to what others will be adding

Hugs,  Red

[Lulu54]

Fortunately the cases that Red mention are extremely rare.  I can't emphasize enough that normally MS will not kill us - it can make us miserable, but it is only extreme cases that evolve like Red talks about.   - L

[RedFlame]

that's a good thing to know!!  And very comforting:)

[michelleislay]

i have been terribly negligent in the department of getting legal papers organized.

being that i have two children, i should have made up a will a long time ago...and to be honest, i had not even thought about the living will.  

anyone seen or read the diving bell and the butterfly?  about jean dominique bauby, former editor of elle magazine, suffered a massive stroke and was locked into his body.  he actually dictated the book after it was discovered that blinking his left eye was a form of communication for him.  it is an incredible tale.  

as usual, i'd recommend the book 10 fold over the movie, but it could be an interesting take on things when making such decisions.  i think i would choose to stay alive but with music and television in the room at all times...can a living will make such specifications?  lol!

anyway, thanks audrey for planting the seed and sarah for following up with this post.  very worthy of contemplation...

xo michelle

[Audrey_M]

LuLu summed it up well. "The living will allows you to define the conditions and terms for which you would want extraordinary/heroic medical care to be given in the event you cannot speak for yourself."

In a living will, you can say what you do or don't want done. Some may request not to be resuscitated, while others may want this to be done. Family members may not know your desires; the living will takes the burden of decision out of their hands with you having taken the time to to look at your values and concerns, address these issues and document them.

Our views do change with age and personal experience. As Red pointed out, she has a living will, yet realizes now that some of her viewpoints in terms of medical intervention and life have changed, so she may revisit her living will and update it.

While there are templates for living wills, I would recommend using this as a starting point for discussion and consideration, and then consult with an attorney to review it for any possible weaknesses in your particular state. If you have delegated power of attorney over medical decisions, the two documents need to be reviewed together to ensure that they do not conflict with one another or have areas of ambiguity.

It is my understanding that family members may not override a living will, but someone with power of attorney may make a decision that appears to override the living will if the two documents are not clear. Likewise, in some states, doctors may override the living will if the terms are considered vague by the medical profession. Also, a living will written in one state may not be honored in another state, so that if you regularly vacation out of state, you may want to take this into consideration. These are just some of the reasons that I recommend using a lawyer who is experienced in this area to ensure that you get what you want.

The other benefit of using an attorney is that he/she will instruct you as to how many copies are needed and who should have them. My parents have living wills, but I believe that my dad's is locked in a safe, which will not do him any good in the event it is needed.

Ironic that I have brought up this topic, but do not have a living will. I started to pursue it years ago, but then things got in the way (like a couple of spells of unemployment with limited finances). I will have to do this before the year is out. I owe it to myself and my family.

Audrey