I received a phone call this morning from my rheumie/neuro office. They had the results of my tests and wanted to see me today. I asked if they could tell me over the phone, and the nurse said that the NP wanted to discuss the results in person. I was so nervous, my hands felt like they were shaking. I knew it had to be bad news. At 4pm I was sitting in her office and she asked if I remember the urine test that I did. Honestly, I've done so many tests in the last few wks, I didn't know right away which one she was referring to. Then she said the one that measures the serotonin.
Right away I knew it. I have all the symptoms for carcinoid syndrome/cancer just like my mom did, and just like my brother does – lots of unintentional weight loss, heart racing, low blood pressure, flushing, etc. She said I tested high on my 5HIAA test which is positive for carcinoid syndrome (symptoms related to carcinoid tumors that have typically spread). And my ct scan shows reactive mesenteric lymph nodes – which the tumors tend to spread to.
She was going to send me to the same idiot oncologist that my brother went to. I told her, there’s no way. She said I can go to anyone I wanted. Then I told her I was going to go to the same oncologist my mom was going to who specialized in neuro-endocrine tumors. Carcinoid syndrome in really rare – only 2 in a million get it, and I want to go to someone who knows about it. She’s at the Anschutz Cancer Center at the Univ. of CO in Denver.
When she was looking her up on her computer (because I couldn’t think of the oncologist’s name) I started crying. I thought I was doing really good, and then it just hit me. She gave me a big hug and when I was leaving, her nurse gave me a hug.
I just hope that I don’t lose my job/benefits before I can get in to see her. It’s so hard for me to work right now. And on top of that, the other 2 people in my dept turned in their notice to quit. So then it’s just me and the team lead and I have to learn all of their projects and all sorts of different software before they go (the next week), when I can’t even do my own job from day to day. It only took me an hour and a half to type this....
-Kelly