Ever have one of those days when you feel the wordl is agains you?

[Sarahsmom46]

I have had more than one of those days, in fact, this whole short week has been like that for me.  I am trying to hard to get my life back to normal after my last flare, moving to a new place, getting started on a new DMD and mostly trying to keep up a strong face at work, but I feel a downward spiral coming and don't know what to do.  

People I thought were there to support me especially at work, are now using my MS as a weapon against me.  It was only just recently that they knew about it. Before they just specuilated on why I was out for several weeks and now a few of the young juniors are circling like vultures trying to grab up every aspect of my job an dignity

Worst part is I have an insecure and mean supervisor who is encouraging it even egging it on behind my back.  I really admire anyone who has been able to stay in the workforce as long as they can after getting a dx of MS, but how do or did you do it?  

I'm beginning to wonder how long I'll be able to hold on.  This is just me aftert a rough, rough day.  Thanks for caring.

Julie

[Sarahsmom46]

I want you all to know how much your comments mean to me.  I have read, re-read and triple read them and my heart is really happy right now.  YOu all made my difficult week end on a good note. Thanks to each and every one of you.

I have read many posts in the past few years since I've been on this forum about this subject of work issues.  I always hoped that wouldn't happen to me, but knew the possibility was out there.  I happen to work in HR so this is even more tough as anyone who works in HR knows, going to EEO or exercising ADA make you look like a trouble maker.  You know what they do to trouble makers? They sticke them in a place where they aren't seen or heard until they decide to find another job and leave. And it doesn't matter how good you are at your job because if you leave, they can hire someone else..  I don't want them doing that  to me.

My boss was out today and that made it better. I have decided to sit down and talk to her next week, not in a demanding or threatening way, but just woman to woman and hope she will take me off her harrassment list.  I am past the anger and hurt and am trying to put a positive spin on this.  Wish me luck.

As for the co-workers, they are young women just trying to find their way.  I support that, but when it comes to trying to take my job, they can EAT MY DUST!!!!  

Again, thanks you guys. I'll be taking a few of you up on your offers for some more indpth advice if needed.

Love you all so much.  

Julie

[Lulu54]

We all do care so much for you, your health and your overall quality of life, Julie.  All the advice you have received from everyone is spot on and I hope you take it all to heart and act it.  

@Raz - I love that thought - we all need to try to not be busy bodies and read other people's thoughts. :-)

@Obijaijo - Tuesday!  LOL

@Julie - hang in there and don't let the bullies win.  I know it saps energy, but this is one you really do need to fight.



TGIF!!!!

L

[Sparkysarah]

I am so sorry that you are being undermined and treated like this at work and you have been given some great suggestions as to what to do. Sometimes we all just have really bad days when everything seems to go wrong so I really hope that things improve for you and that it is just a temprorary blip rather than the downward spiral you fear.

Take care, respect yourself for the great woman you are and be assertive.

With love and hugs

Sarah x

[Guitar_grrrl]

Julie, I'm so sorry you're going through all this.  Sounds like an awful day!!  You have the ADA on your side, and I'm behind Alex, Ren, and the others with the Serenity Prayer.  

Thinking of you...
Lisa

[Fluffysmom]

Julie, remember that you are a wonderful woman, hard working and able to do your job when your ADA protected illness isn't interfering.  I know it hurts; when I lost my job, my "friends" sided with the company that forced me out.  That was long ago and the laws have changed: they couldn't have done that now with the new revised ADA.  Chin up, all that, ignore the vultures as best you can.

My roommate is well versed in this sort of event, she gave a presentation on the new revised ADA last night and will give me her notes. She'll be glad to help support you in any way that she can..She knows that you are important to me.  Even after I'd been away from the forum so long, I mentioned you and she remembered and hoped you were doing well.  She'll be glad to help with any questions you might have.  I'll talk to her tonight and then write you a message.  Hmm, also post info here, too, for others who might need it.

Enough of the law stuff.  I care about YOU.  Take good care of yourself, don't let the bad energy at work wear you down when you have enough going on.  I'm glad you like your posh new place.  I'll be thinking about you.

Love and hugs,

Kathy

[rendean]

Dear Julie,
I am sorry your workplace is treating you so poorly. You've gotten great advice from those who posted ahead of me. Document EVERYTHING no matter how trivial it may seem now, you never know when it may fit into a bigger picture.

You know you are doing a good job so just keep your nose to the grindstone and know that your work is good. Your long absences may be causing the resentment and back-stabbing.

I do like the Serenity prayer, it is also one of my favorites. Also Raz's comment "A friend of mine tells me: it's none of my business what others think of me. it is what I know and that I am doing the best I can each day that matters." I was told something similar while I was working and getting the best assignments. Jealousy is an ugly thing.

Now, on to more pleasant subjects, like the Nordstrom's out your back door. Window shopping is a great diversion. So are all the sights and smells of a great shopping mall.It even counts as exercise as you walk through the mall. A two-for-one!

Just take one day at a time, and some days..one minute at a time. You're a tough cookie..you can do this!

REn

[RazCarver]

Julie, I'm real sorry you are having such a time at work. I'm not diagnosed, but have had a few issues at work.

It is hard not to have fear about work.  I document, focus hard, and do my best each day.
worry and fear only adds stress that we don't need and interferes with us doing our best. It's not easy, but hopefully knowing people here care, helps.

A friend of mine tells me: it's none of my business what others think of me. it is what I know and that I am doing the best I can each day that matters. sometimes that helps. sometimes i think it is all bs.

lots of smart folks here with good advise. hoping for smoother better days head for you.

Raz

[HVAC]

Our local MS Society have employment specialist. I do not know what resources you have. Document everything as Ess said. I will ask around. I sat in on a meeting about a blind lawyer who is not in NC but specializes in it Nationally. With my husbands job with the State they are especially wary of disability discrimination lawsuits.

It is never fun for people to go for your weakness. I hate back biting. The veterinary field was full of it. Every veterinary hospital I worked at was the same. I liked working construction. Those guys had a problem with you they told you and it was over. Everything out in the open.

Hey you are feeling vulnerable anyway it makes it worse. You are kinda a raw sore these days. Everything is going to hurt. My therapist told me to imagine blowing a pink bubble around myself and not letting things touch me. Or imagining a circle of all my friends from all over around me saying good things and protecting me.

One of my old tricks in the serenity prayer. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. I go into a bathroom stall take deep breathes and say this to myself when things get tough.

Take care my friend.

Alex

[Ojibajo]

Yes! I call those days "Tuesday."

[addicted2harleys]

Oh Julie, I am so sorry you are having issues at work!   I know when I first got sick, my job was in jeopardy.  At that time, I didn't know the laws out there could/would help me.  Ultimately, I did get fired because of my illness.  I have since found out that I could have a very winful case if I had taken it to court.  At the time I was more concerned with what was going on with my body and why I couldn't walk.  

So, if you don't know the laws that are out there to protect YOU then find them out and understand them.  I think that is a first step.  

Ess gave you some great advise, too.  And I would do exactly what she said, if I were you.  

Try to enjoy your new place and how much easier it will be for you everyday.  And be thankful for that new DMD that is coming your way.  

Hang in there, hun.  This, too, shall pass.  Breath.  I hope you have a better day tomorrow.

Addi

[essdipity]

Julie, I do care. Fortunately for me my MS was not diagnosed till I was relatively old, so I never had to deal with your complications.

I can only suggest that you keep careful notes of what happens and what is said, when. If any memos or emails are exchanged, all the better. Regardless of your nasty supervisor, there must be higher-ups, especially in HR. If things get really bad, make an appointment and explain yourself. I know you know how to do that with dignity and professionalism.

There are laws to prevent your being squeezed out, as long as you get the job done. Take advantage of them. It's just a shame that people you thought were friendly were something else entirely. I feel bad for you, but now you know.

You are exhausted, understandably so. Pamper yourself whatever way works well, and sleep well tonight. I do hope you'll feel better in the morning.

ess