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147426 tn?1317269232

This Is No Country For Animals

Last night was an adventure for the livestock around this house.  I was trying to get much needed sleep and I really wanted my litttle Abby on my lap.  She came and stood in front of my recliner and implored.  I patted my right knee and the leg jumped out and kicked her.  Poor girl.  I finally fell asleep, but was awakened by a commotion outside the french door to my room that was open to the back deck.

I looked up and saw the hem of my curtain disappearing to the outside.  There is a little raccoon kit that uses that ruse to get my attention.  But, then I heard a cat growl and decided my presence was needed.  I stood up too fast and got my feet entangled in the sheet and blanket in front of my recliner.  As I tried to extricate my feet I stumbled and kicked over a squirt bottle of Windex, which gave me an idea.  This was just as I saw the throw rug at my door start to disappear through the door.  I was being raided.

By this time I was annoyed and still sleepy.  I stumbled to the door , Windex bottle in hand and looked at to see six little faces looking up as if I ws coming out to play.  Charging out, squirting ahead madly, the first blast was straight into my chest.  This just made me mad.  I turned the bottle around and squirted everything I saw.  About a yard onto the deck, stepping on the pinecones and twigs blown in by the last wind, my feet got caught in something cold and slippery.  Trying to keep upright, I had the onset of an Epic Flood, but no mice in sight.

Losing a bladder full with a tiny pinecone embedded in the sole of my foot I frankensteined it back into my room.  It was still not clear what was going on.  I flipped the deck light on and aimed the Windex at anything that might move.  By now there are no live creatures on the deck, coon or feline.  It reeked of ammonia, though.  What I did see, though, was a line of my panties - the one I stepped on, another about a yard down, and the third about ten feet beyond that.  The little buggers were on a panty-raid and had snatched them off a pile of clean clothes on a chair near the door!

I'll never know if one of those guys returned to the frat house with the most coveted prize.

By the time I collected the errant panties, took care of the flooding, calmed the cats and made up with Abby, I was wide awake.

Does this count as MS insomnia?

I'm almost afraid to try sleeping tonight.  I've hidden the laundry and learned not to tap my knee.  The Windex is by the door (and it's already aimed AWAY from me).

Life has become so complex.

Quix, the beleagered.
22 Responses
987762 tn?1331031553
Now my dear Quix, how long have you been seeing (wink wink) all these laundry loving little creatures ROFL!!

What can you do about panty raiding racoon's? I'm sure men in white coats would come a knocking if you tried explaining your little adventuous creatures to some type of authority, so i'm not sure how to go about messing with their frat party.

Hope you get some sleep!!

198419 tn?1360245956

Only you. And, only you could describe such escapades with such vision and humor.
Maybe they planned on using them as hats. It is getting a little chilly in the evenings.
Thanks Doc Q for the laughs!

I can't stop laughing

1045086 tn?1332130022
QUIX SAID: "I've hidden the laundry and learned not to tap my knee.  The Windex is by the door (and it's already aimed AWAY from me)."

Go ahead and let yourself feel like you've got it all under control now.  Maybe it will help you get a little rest today.  But if you think the little rascals will play out a repeat performance ............ are you kidding me?  By tonight, they will have had all day to dream up something new.

They are young. They are multiples.  They have a leader.  You are being twisted by a tool with a drink named after it (longhand for the word I can't use here).

On a positive note, it sounds like your ankle responded well!

429700 tn?1308011423

We've gotten raccoons in the house hear in Texas via our walk-in attic which somehow they got in through tearing off a screen to a gutter.

If only they would raid my husband's panty (oops, underwear) drawer!  He won't even let me use his holey underwear for dusting rags!  
1045086 tn?1332130022
Of course he won't Deb!  Men don't throw away their underwear (or give them up for dust).  They wear them until they vaporize.................(fading out)......................

(tsk, tsk, silly girl)
645800 tn?1466864555

    Have you ever considered becoming a writer? With your adventures you could fill volumes of books with them. :)

   We have lots of raccoons around here but they stay in the woods. My friend Dave sets up wildlife cameras in the 30 acres he owns and has gotten pictures of them on it quite often. On time we counted 27 in just one picture. It probably helps to keep them in the woods because he puts out corn for the deer and they spend the nights feasting on it. They show up at dusk and stay until dawn.

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