Aa
fighting a losing battle
its getting worse and worse and today i feel like im fighting a losing battle with OCD. it all started about 2 years ago when i read an article about sexsomnia and a woman who had sex with strangers in her sleep without even knowing it! it scared me crazily that it could happen to me as i do occasionally (like once a yr) take recreational drugs and also drink abt once a week n it states that people who do so are more predisposed to it. i have woken up from a vivid sex dream in a house my husband and i were renting and been crazily afraid that i have done it with a stranger in my sleep. to make things worse, i also have a severe phobia of hiv and have been worried abt getting it from everything from scratches to rubbing my eyes to get this - someone contaminating my shampoo! i have gone for countless hiv tests all negative but somehow keep thinking abt this. my greatest fear is catching it whilst sleepwalking and passing it to my husband. yes i know its crazy but i am going mad. it doesnt help that there is a creepy man in my apartment building who always stares at me and its worsening my fears that i have done something in my sleep im unaware of . i have been to a therapist to talk about my fears and it helped for a while but now its back.although my husband tells me i dont sleepwalk, somehow at the back of my mind there are so many what ifs like what if this isnt OCD as its a possibility. i just dont know what to do anymore. im so sick n tired of living my life in fear. i have tried to calm myself down with prayer but now i find myself even questioning God, which is terrible and i dont know what to do anymore. r there anybody else like me?
Best Answer
OCD is a nightmare but with alot of hard work and self belief it can improve but it's not easy.The biggest tadgety is that some family member or doctors don't seem to understand the situation.Unless they have walked a day in our shoes they don't know what it's like.I thought OCD was going to be the end of me but with the right meds and CBT I have battled the black dog in my head.
the thing that scares me the most is the what ifs like what if hes staring at me cos i did something with him or someone else? what if consuming alcohol has caused it or something else im not aware of? ive read abt sleepwalkers who have no idea or recollection of what they have done at night. although i am a very light sleeper and always wake up in my own bed with everything in place, i just feel so paranoid. it frightens me because there's so much abt parasomnias that's unknown . i just dont know what's true and what's not anymore.
i usually glare at him and he looks away i dont wanna get into a fight cos ive previously been quarrelsome with neighbours before and dont want to repeat that. sigh
before it used to be my fear of gettin hiv from cuts and environmental surfaces and then when i found out that its not possible i started being afraid of catching it from actual sex withs trangers during sleep! i jst dont know what to do anymore. i pray fervently before sleeping everynight but every morning when i see the creepy guy at the bus stop i start thinking n thinking again. its killing me .
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A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Condoms are the most effective way to prevent HIV and STDs.
PrEP is used by people with high risk to prevent HIV infection.
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