marine with possible ptsd???

[heatherlynn22]

my husband is a marine. he was in iraq for 9 months and saw some terrible things. i don't know what because he refuses to talk about them. he still wakes up at night in a cold sweat screaming and crying. after that the only thing i can do to even come close to comforting him is just hold him and tell him it's ok. since he's been home (he got out in october) he's been getting angrier and angrier. every little thing sets him off. and it's not just him being mad and storming off or yelling. he screams, yells and throws things. he punches holes in walls and breaks doors. thing is he wasn't like this before he went to iraq. prior to his deployment he was a sweet, loving and caring man. never raised his voice to me. he never even got mad at me. i have a bit of a memory problem. when i was 18 i was in a horse riding accident and have permanent memory issues. now if i forget something instead of him being understanding like he used to be he screams at me. telling me how stupid i am and what not. i don't know exactly what the symptoms of ptsd are.....but could his anger issues be from that? and if it is ptsd...or even if not does anyone have any suggestions to help me convince him to go to counseling? or get help for it.

[margypops]

So you will be supportive of him and distract him when he is having a hard time, will he go out at all what does he do with his day,are you with him or are you working, I am assuming hes on leave, Does he use the PC and watch TV ,go to movies,would it be possible to tell him you have come here to talk to others who have been through and are going through Trauma, would he like to chat anyone.

[heatherlynn22]

he's actually out of the marines now. he served his 4 years and is now on 4 years inactive duty. he's not working yet. he's looking but with the economy it's been hard for him to find a job. i'm not working. i am with the kids all day. he doesn't go out. we've gone out for dinner (2 hours max) 3 times in the past 6 1/2 months. he says now that we have kids we don't need to go out. he does use the computer, watches tv, plays video games, watches movies. i haven't told him i'm asking for help from others. if he knew...he'd probably blow a gasket. he's not really one to....ask others for help or to "spread his business". he's a very independent person. he doesn't talk when he's upset. if i try to talk to him he gets even more angry and causes a fight. so i tend to let him go when he's on his tirades and talk to him afterward. which is pointless because he avoids the questions and talks about other things. so i let him talk about the other things hoping if it keeps his mind off of what made him mad he'd be more calm and rational.

[margypops]

I know what you mean exactly I also have one similar.this is a tough one to crack isnt it , he's got to accept the way he is and want to get better or it will continue, I know ,you seem to handle it as best you can and thats the way to go, walk away from the confrontation, and it'll quietn down.I will Pm you as this thread will get very long , othes may havr some input .

[teko]

My childrens dad was a Marine, in Vietnam. He is 64 years old and still refuses to talk about it  to any degree. Your husband probably feels like it is a sign of weakness to go for help. After all, he was/is a marine and they are taught to not be weak! Tell your husband he needs to go to the doctor and see about getting help for his anxiety, do not mention the war, instead use the econemy, inability to find a job, stress in general. Then the doctor can hopefully help him see, that he does have a problem and there is help for it, if he will accept it. He will never be able to forget the things he has experienced, but can learn to cope. Coping is not punching holes in the walls. My heart goes out to you.

[heatherlynn22]

it would be easy if he actually talked about things like a calm rational adult....but...like you said he's a marine. he's the most stubborn man alive.

i'll have to try and use the economy and stress thing as a therapy lure...hopefully he'll at least give it a go. i have a feeling he won't because..."he's a marine damnit" *sigh* i love that he's a marine but hate it at the same time.

[fary]

let him know dat u r a marine's husband.u can get angry as well.did u ever try it?wen i suspect dat my brother wil get mad at me i use preemptive strike to ward off any such threat