eeling very judged-

[sdreilly06]

Hi everyone!
I think you all are misunderstanding me.  Maybe I do not belong on this website.  All I am saying is that I want to be able to function and not be in so much pain that I am able to better my life and the life of my daughter.  I'm trying to better yourself and it is just difficult being in struggling with basic everyday activities let alone school.  And yes, I spoke with the financial aid office  and I am part of the disabled students program at my school  and they both said that it was perfectly ok to spend some money on pain management or whatever it takes for me to be successful in school and in life.  For all of you that are so quick to judge me, I want you to think of what would happen to your life and how would you feel if all your pain meds were taken away right now and you had nothing.  Then imagine you HAD to go work/school take care of kids etc.  How would you feel?  What would your life look like?  What did your life look like before you had a good pain management doc? I am currently trying to find one in the placerville area.  I apologize to you all.  Clearly I am not wanted on this website.  All of a sudden-so judgemental it's making me cry.  Thank you though to the few good people.

[mummy3too]

People here really do have your/mine/and our best inerest at heart and it can be difficult to completely understand someone's entire story in one post.... We are all experts in our own pain management and lives - but that does not mean that everyone else fits into the same mold.

The best advice we can live by is not to assume or presume. We should ask questions before we think we know what others are going through. Offer support not judgements.

I have learned a great deal on here. When I first joined, I assumed (that bad word) that everyone lived by the same rules and policy as I did with my pain docotor - How wrong I was.

I DO know that the one thing we ALL have in common is pain.

so, please, ... do not leave this group. You are welcome here and would hate for you to leave so soon. I am very sorry you were not understood. And we should all try to ask the right questions before we offer suggestions or comments.


I saw and read the post before it was removed and can understand why you felt this way.

Mum

[Tuckamore]

I am so sorry that you felt you were being judged. That is never our intention on this forum. Please re-read your post where you wrote about how you spent you school money and I think you will find that I said what you were doing is perfectly acceptable. And is certainly is. If that is not the post you are referring to I am clueless.

Even if we felt you did not spend your funding in the manner we thought was acceptable it should not be our concern. This forum is here to support you with the struggles and challenges as you journey through chronic pain brings and it's hoped that we can offer suggestions and information. We wish to provide you with tools that will be helpful to you based on our experiences and knowledge.

It's only concerning to us if you are asking for information regarding how to abuse drugs or if you are drug seeking or doctor hopping, etc......those types of actions do upset us as it impacts on everyone's ability to obtain pain management.

We must all remember the function of this forum. It's not a chat room or a blog. It's a medical help/support forum. We are not here to see who has the best suggestions or who is the nicest, or even who has the worse suggestions.  We are here for one another. Often we find it difficult not to respond negatively if we feel someone is hindering the the over all process and goals of pain management. ...otherwise, in my opinion, how you chose to live your life is your business.

Again I am sorry that you are feeling judged. I hope that has not happened on our forum.

My Best to You,
~Tuck

[melissaky]

I never read the post where you felt judged but I am sorry you feel that way.There are a lot of people here who are not judgemental .I am really sorry this has happened and I do hope you will stay .There really are some nice people here and you will see that if you stay on .Take care my dear and please continue to post .Melissa

[JadedSweetheart]

I understand where you're coming from and when I first posted in this forum a few people who didn't completely understand my situation jumped on my case, too.  I have found far more kind and supportive people here than the few who judged me harshly at first.  I am glad I stayed and even made friends with one of the people who initially made me cry, too.
I completely respect you for doing what you're doing.  Like I said in an earlier post, I went to school, worked, and raised my kids for about a year and I was so burned out at the end of a year that I decided to live on student loans as well.  It was better for my children and me.  I never finished college, though, due to the demands of time that even that placed on me (and partly because I moved and fell in love), but I wish I had stuck with the college before I became nearly incapacitated by the pain.  I have been considering going back to school and finishing myself as a married mom and if I didn't have a baby on the way, I would have enrolled.
Please stay with us, people can be a little overwhelming with their opinions at first, but if you hang around, you will see that this is a great place for support.
Bree

[sandee1818]

I am very sorry you feel like you were judged.
That is the last thing we want to happen in our community. We try very hard not to be judgmental and I apologize that you feel you were.
Please stay and give the community a chance. There are some really awesome people here that take time to help others with kindness and compassion.
I do hope you will stay:)

[jamlws]

I am not judging you at all. I am very happy your going to school and taking care of your child (like I said in my reply)
We are here for support and I am so sorry if you felt like you are getting picked on. That is NOT what we are about here. I think the main thing is when you said you took someone elses meds and that is a big no no you could get into a lot of trouble, I think they was just trying to get you to understand that.
I am like you, no pills, nothing that helps my pain, not being treated by a doctor right now so I know where you are coming from, I have 2 kids, I have a job. Believe me I know how hard it is and I am dealing with that right now. I can't sleep at night, I can't eat, I can't smile withouth it hurting and forget about laughing. So I do know where you are coming from believe me on that one. My pain was treated by my family dr or 3 months then she said that was all she could do. So I have had to go 4 weeks now without anything to help my pain, I have lost 18 pounds during this time so I really feel your pain.
I do hope you stay on this board and if you was hurt by one of us I am so so sorry for that, we have to support each other to get us thru the days weeks and months of pain. I have had alot of great advice on this board and I know you will also if you stay here. No one should have to deal with chronic pain and no one should have to go without having someone to talk to.
I wish nothing but the best for you
Jamie

[Mollyrae]

I'm sorry that you were harshly judged in your first post. That should have never happened and the post was removed. You are very welcome here and please don't think that you're not.

You seem to be a very strong woman, caring for your child and going to school all the while having pain. It's difficult having pain alone without the added responsibilities. Stay strong. You are always going to find someone in these forums that don't agree with how you do things, that's a part of life. Having said that, judging you in this forum is wrong and it shouldn't have happened.

Please stick around. We would love to see you post often here. Most of us here have some type of pain and can be of a lot of help to you. The support here is fantastic.

My very best,
Mollyrae

[RunningMom]

Honey, you are not being judged.  We are all here to help you and want the best.  We don't want you getting in trouble with pain management or anywhere else. If you do get in trouble with the doctors, it will be merely impossible to find decent care and we DON'T want this to happen.  We completely understand what it is like being under treated for pain.  I've personally am going through it right now.  I've had unbearable pain in my neck and it's horrible.  I was in your shoes as a single mother too.  It is not easy.  Please don't take us the wrong way.  We are only trying to have it where you don't find yourself in trouble.  I hope you decide to stay.  I'd be so lost without my online support.  This is basically the only support I have when it comes down to this awful pain.  Not all of us are treated fairly with our doctors.  Please don't cry honey.  We ARE here for you.  We only want the best.