feedback requested

[rose411]

So, I have been taking oxycontin 20 mg bid and percocet 10 mg for prn.  I personally feel this is a lot.  This does help my pain, but I am starting to feel disconnected.  Even depressed, maybe that is just from being in pain all the time or maybe its the narcos.  So I weaned myself off of these drugs and have had nothing for a week.  Now, granted I feel like crap but everyday I feel better.  The pain is raw but I think I am going to go to my next appointment (Monday) and just tell them to forget giving me all this stuff.  I just feel that over the long period my body will be so dependent on this stuff.  When I wake up I have to take a pill.....  That kinda scares me.  Then I feel better after it kicks in.  Every month I feel like I am walking a tightrope.  To top it off, my cousin has just told the family that she has had trouble with narcos and she mixed a bunch of pills and alcohol together.  She got so sick she was hospitalized.  She told me she went to diff drs and used diff pharmacies to keep her supply.  Now I know that is not what I am doing, but she orginally was sent to the pain dr because of chronic pain.  Just like me.  I am just worried and I of course am planning on addressing these ? with my dr.  I am sure they wont like that I am not taking the drugs as prescribed but I am not sure what the heck to do at this point.  Does anyone here struggle with the thought of being dependent on these powerful drugs?  I guess the pain is too bad you just have to take them?  

[concerned621]

I have been where you are and I have taken myself off my medication so many times I've lost count.
I have a sister who is an addict. She has been my entire life. She went from pills, to alcohol to pills then to heroin. She's destroyed our family.  Then my brother developed an addiction to prescription medications.  I was upset over all of it I thought I'd end up like them.  Though I never abused a pill in my life and dislike even taking them for all the pain I am in I worried all the time. I entered in to counseling over it.  It really helped me. The counselor who also suffers with chronic pain so she understood my issues explained that my shame and guilt was so normal. Not only that my siblings constantly projected their addictions on to me calling me the addict. The counselor said they were so jealous that I could have a bottle of pain meds and not eat them like candy and actually take them as prescribed.
I suffer daily with chronic pain (7 surgeries on my spine, fibromyalgia) I do take supplements, exercise several times per week, eat right, drink tons of water. I take 40mg of oxycontin day and percocet for breatkthrough pain.  My struggle now is having to take this the rest of my life. I hope and pray I won't have to.  But I need to have some quality of life and being in constant pain takes over your mind, body and spirit.  

If you can do it without such strong pain meds then that is the best thing for you.   But if you need to take something and feel you don't have addiction issues know that you will build a "tolerance" to the medication and that is very different than addiction.  And know that you can't just stop taking medication like oxycontin. It has to be weened off of and it should be done with a doctors care.  

One thing I have learned is it's hard enough dealing with chronic pain, so adding shame and guilt over having to take medication is only adding to already difficult  problems.
Trying to work through that is the best thing for you.  Whether you decide to take the medication or not, do what is best for you.

[sandee1818]

We all have a some point determined if our pain was great enough to live on these medications. We all struggle with this issue. All chronic pain Pt's do at some point I believe.
I always tell those struggling with this that they have a disease that needs treatment. It is no different than you having say diabetes and treating that disease with medication.
There is no reason to suffer and be in pain because of the type of medication this disease requires. Realize that your treating the pain and this is needed for you to have a quality of life that you would not living in pain 24/7.
I know I went through this as well as the other here and it scared me too having to depend on these medications to have any quality of life at all. But my doctor explained to me that treating chronic pain and fybro is no different than another Pt treating their diabetes with insulin. Would a diabetes pt stop their insulin because they do not want to become dependant on the medication? Of course not and a chronic pain Pt should be no different.
If you feel like your pain level can handle a lower dose then that would be great. You could try the 10mg Oxycontin and the 7.5mg percocet or even the 5mg percocet.
With tolerance issues it always best to take the minimum dose that your pain will allow.
I hope this helps you with your struggle over this and if I can be of any further help please let me know.
I will do whatever I can to help:)