Tmi.......... pls help my bf keeps watching porn

[mrsohara]

hey ladys !!
my bf aint to good at showing affection and i keep finding him having been watching porn on his moble instead of spending time in bed with me

the searches are of compleate opposit of me
is it becoz i am gaining weight with pregnancy?
dont i do it for him anymore?
i dont no how to react as each time i have found this he says he loves me and dont no why he do it.......

i need real womens opinion as i dont no what to do next
my gut tells me the realtionship must be breaking down
and i feel like he must not love or care for how i feel

[MadameN]

Porn is addictive. So if your boyfriend is watching it and neglecting you, then it's a problem. Try talking to him about your relationship and find out if he's really not happy with being with you. Don't start out making it look like the real issue is the porn. The issue is that you feel the fire has gone out of your relationship. See if you can agree on stuff that will make both of you feel closer again and then mention that you are not happy to find him watching porn all the time. Hopefully, you may find a way to rechannel his energies. Otherwise, maybe the relationship just needs a little cool off from both of you so that you can consider what you want and decide whether you still want to be together. Hopefully, this is just a temporary thing.

Good luck

[searra]

For me and my husband this is totally unexceptable. like ive said before the bible says if your eyes cause u to sin cut them out. I dont want my hubbie lusting over anyone but me . I personally feel like he made a commitment to me when he put a ring on it. Thats just me though and im not judging anyone else. I just would put up with it I would loose respect for my hubbie if he was doing that.

[mrsohara]

thanks ladys!!!
i love the mix of views on this .....
i have spoke with him amd just said

if ur in need come to me instead of pleasuring yourself
as i see it as selfish and i dont want to always pleasing myself instead of having the man i love doing it for me.......
i dont see it as cheating and i just think if hes needing it more than i can offer then clearly i aint good enuff and i have explained also my exs have never had this problem and also made me feel special and after my pregnancy if there is no emotional/sexual connection between us then its best for him to find someone who makes him happy

he replied i do make him happy and he dont no why he feels the need to watch porn instead of making love with me.......
so this is the only problem we have in our realationship and we should be able to overcome this issue
i dont get upset about it bcoz if its not ment to be then i have done and can get thro life on my own

thanks for everyones comments and i hope this has helped many others reading this
x

[Caitlin1830]

Personally to me, it doesn't really seem like porn is just the only issue here. You aren't feeling attractive anymore and probably very insecure in your relationship with your man. I'm the exact same way. I want my man to just find me sexy and no one else but being pregnant, it just makes you feel unattractive. I really don't think you should leave him over this... my ex never even got off to porn, he just watched it as it was a movie, as funny as that is. I think its just something all woman go through - feeling unattached from their man, it passes or sometimes it doesn't.

Honestly since I got pregnant, my man has never found mote attractive as he does now that I'm pregnant. He buys me silky robes and pregnant lingere and just ravages me, lol. It gets annoying as I don't feel sexy and half the time I don't feel like shaving my legs. Honestly as someone said above, try and dress sexy, not just for him but for you too. Its weird because hes a 24 y/o man, lol.  And if he cant get that sexy mental picture of you out of his head, then it wasn't meant to be. My opinions on porn vary. I watch it when I'm in the mood... he watches it too, although not so much since we got together. Ot really at all. Id br upset too though.

[Pansie]

I agree worldofwisdom :-)

[worldofwisdom]

Porn is absolutely disgusting. It is only around because woman allow it to be. I will never let any man, (whether my husband or not) treat me as a product. If he is with you, then he should be only with you....Only have eyes for you, only feel love for you, and only feel sexually aroused with and for you !! Talk to him.

[Lanny_Licorice]

I personally let my boyfriend watch porn. Ever since I've gotten pregnant I have not been In no mood of having sex. His needs need to be satisfied and that's the way he goes to get himself goin' and bang, his needs are complete and I'm not bein' pestered lol. He still cuddles on me and WILL ask me If I want to before doin' that though. But like someone said, It's not our view what the matter Is, It's how you feel and view about the matter. If It Is a very big concern, you will need to let him know It's not okay and let him know how you feel that It hurts you that he does that and showing porn more attention than you when It should be the other way around. You will need to express your feelings more and be up front to him and make him listen to you and let him or tell him to express his view to exactly why he Is doin' that and showing you less attention 'cuz "idk why I do It" Is not a good enough excuse.

[tay_lily_n_bump]

it doesnt really matter what anyone elses view on the matter is. if you dont like it tell him and if he doesnt have the respect for you to stop then your relationship has bigger problems. you should be feeling loved and cherished right now and have every right to feel upset by this behaviour. hope things improve. wishing u a healthy and happy pregnancy

[tkenna]

Im sorry you feel this way!! :( my fiance watches porn. at first it used to really bother me but we talked about it. i told him how i felt, but didnt freak out on him about it. He said its because he wants to orgasm but hes too tired to have sex which i COMPLETELY understand. also, hes not out having sex with any other woman. so id rather let him do it himself then have someone else do it. The only thing i do not like and will not tolerate is him watching porn while we are having sex.

[ShellyLette]

Well my boyfriend watches porn sometimes and it don't bother me, he knows I watch porn. I've looked at his history before and he likes different fantasies that he knows I won't do like cheerleaders lol, I am so not dressing up like a cheerleader. But he knows this cuz we talk about what we like, were a very sexual couple. But that's just us. I mean I can't really tell you why I watch it, its just something I like to do every now and again. I don't think he will change even it bothers you, it'll just be.a more secretive thing the more you bring it up hell go that extra mile to clean up his mess. That's only my opinion though. You should question if you want to be more open with it, cuz honestly if you are then he might not wanna do it anymore or quite as often cuz its not such a bad thing anymore. People like to go against the rules sometimes if I'm making sense. As far as him not giving you enough attention, make him or leave him. Im not sure if the porn is the problem or if its your relationship in general.

[ashkevin13]

Personally i wouldnt leave him over this, but per the comment regarding it is not as easy as everyone thinks to just watch.it with him. I agree. If he is watching it almost daily. He might be addicted. There are diseases like that out there. Have u tried getting him in the mood, like seducing. My husband never knows when i am in  the mood. It sounds like ur bf is always in the mood. Lol it might be worth a shot. And with our hormones. He might not say anything about ur looks or pregnancy because he is nervous it might come out wrong or with a certain tone that u might find upsetting. My husband doesnt usually say nice things or compliments me. But he doesnt say mean things.

[MrsKeener]

I'm opposite on that subject. I'm the one who loves porn. my husband doesn't watch it much. he will watch it with me though. we are both very comfortable in that field. when i was married the first time it was a different story. my ex watched porn a lot and even had pics of naked women on his phone. i used to cry over it. took me several years to accept it though.

[mamaof4410]

And when I want to I can totally be dirtier than those bimbos in the porn movies!! If you cant beat em join em!

[mamaof4410]

My dh does it. I learned not to let it bother me. We have sex everyday sometimes twice a day. He only really looks at that and goes on craigslist and looks at all of the ones with pics when hes using the toliet. Seriously I let that ship sail a long time ago. I know Im not ugly and I know the problem isnt me so I dont let it bother me. And I go back into the history just to be nosey an d watch some of the videos hes watched. The girls are mostly acting. I watched a thing with Jenna Jameson giving an interview and she even said its all fake. It gives the fantasy. Ask yourself this...Would you rather him watch porn and touch himself (if he does) or would you rather he ditch you a couple times a week and have sex with someone else? Logical question.
Amd Im with MISSKELLEE watch a video and have a great orgasm. You cant take an awesome nap when your done. SERIOUSLY!

[aprilbabymama]

I agree mrsohara I have the exct same problem. I've considered walking away but he always begs me to stay. I feel if he was totally satisfied with me & our sex was what he wanted there s no need for porn. It will probably end our relationship. It makes me feel unwanted & ugly. & it makes me not want to be with him romantically because I feel he's thinking of another porn star . I thought I was beautiful until the past few months. So I totally understand what your saying.

[Danbri]

If it upsets you, you don't just need to put up with it or tolerate it.  You really should tell him how you feel about it.  I personally don't want my husband watching it because it makes me feel insecure.  He knows this and respects this.  

[mamapanda123]

Hmm this can be a tough one. My fiance is NOT aloud to look at porn I caught him once and he stopped. In my opinion If you love someone that should be the only person you should want to see naked ever. I consider looking at porn cheating because he's going out of his way to see a nother women naked and to bring him sexual satisfaction. I was so pissed and hurt when I him caught mostly cause he lied to me a said he didn't when we first got together.  I Told him if I caught him I again I wad leaving and he hasn't in over a year. I think you should talk to your bf about it again and really try to get him to understand how you feel. I grew up in a house full of boys where my dad taught my brothers that it was there right to look at porn and to see something naked when ever they please. It totally disgusted me hence why I'm strongly against porn.

[MissKellee]

heres my AWESOME advice......find a porn website, think of something you find is a turn on, watch the video and give yourself an orgasm! :) its fun! lol.
my bf watches porn...but i think i watch it more than him! LOL...

it hurts when he and i have sex (im about to pop) so i know whats comfortable for me. just start giving yourself pleasure...maybe he might get jealous and then just wanna have sex with you and not touch himself lol

[tasha_labruyere]

I agree totally. I think watching porn is unacceptable your with me. And watching porn to me is cheating. He wouldn't like it if I sat around watching and looking up pictures about big d**ks all day so why watch naked girls. I've gotten to the point where I told him I'd leave him if he watches it nemore and he hasn't since. I know this because I can see his Internet on my cell phone bill.

[mrsohara]

tbh i dont no any more

[ftm2013]

I agree to a point! My man loves me tells me everyday I'm beautiful tells me he loves my new curves cuddles with me as much as ill let him lol 10 years together and he still holds my hand when we watch TV on the couch. Im very comfortable in our relationship! I've never had to wonder if he still loves me or is attracted to me. You said you feel like the passion is gone right? Ask yourself if the passion was still there and he treated you the way you need to be right now and cuddled with you all the time would the porn honestly bother you that bad? I guess I'm trying to say look at the really issue is it the porn or.....is it the fact that you feel like the passion in the relationship is gone and he's no longer attracted to you?

[virgomami2]

My baby daddy does it all the time I'm fine with it cause I'm not always in the mood but we even watch together

[isha69]

No, you're not wrong. These women seem to not be listening to you..
Sometimes it's not as simple as watching it together or fearing hurting the
baby.
My boyfriend and I would watch it sometimes, but he knows I'm against it.
He's not afraid of hurting me or the baby, and likes our intimate time, but it doesn't happen often.
He would hide all of his porn and be secretive.. He still lies to me and hides everything. It's a bad habit that some guys fall into, and it really strains a relationship.

[mrsohara]

i agree that when ur mans attracted to you no one else would turn him on and having time with you should be very important and most importantly when pregnant and feeling not so good about ur body he should be loving ur growth more amd more instead of getting off to videos of almost perfect women with fake lips boobs and making you feel great about urself shoild be his priority instead of continuing to do something selfishly instead of making love to you
am i wrong for thinking like this ?