FTM..AM I WRONG...

[AriesQT]

I'm 21+2 and will be a FTM to a baby boy. My husband and I live in a 2br apartment. He has three sons from a previous marriage. They stay with their mom. Because she is a jealous and bitter b i t c h, we only get the boys like once every other month, if that. It's always random or my husband has to practically beg. Our 2nd bedroom has two sets of bunkbeds for the boys. My question is, am I wrong for wanting to turn it into a nursery for our son who will be living here full-time? As he gets older, I wouldn't mind the bunkbeds and him sharing his room when my step kids come. I really want a nursery, but I don't want my husband to feel like I'm doing his boys "bad" by wanting to get rid of the bunks for now. He is OK with cramming a crib and stuff for our son in the boys' room.

[My2ndbaby]

Also, if you are very keen on the nursery,  then the best thing to do is to find a 3 bedroom house. God bless!

[My2ndbaby]

If you turn the room into a nursery, Where will the other kids sleep if they come to visit? I have two stepdaughters and we did not turn their bedroom into my son's nursery. He slept in a crib in our bedroom. Now that I'm pregnant again,  we are planning to turn divide their bedroom into two- one for my son and one for my daughter. But the only reason we are doing this is coz they don't come to visit as much as before. They are 14yrs and have boyfriends and would rather hang out with their friends. But whenever they visit,  they sleep in the main bedroom and my hubby moves to the little room downstairs while I sleep in my son's room. In my opinion, I think you shouldn't insist on having a nursery. Please do the right thing. The baby can sleep in your room.( I think its even better for baby to sleep with you in the same room.)The boy's mom may not allow them to visit often, but they need their daddy and it's nice for them to feel they have a place where they are welcome at daddy's home. God bless

[abbb01]

Ur not wrong at all for wanting to give ur baby a nursery especially when obviously baby will be there full time but it may make ur step kids feel "tossed aside" maybe talk to the kids first see how they feel about it. Yeah they are only there occasionally but still need to feel like they are part of the family and wanted around when their mom isnt being a b i t c h. I cant really suggest anything since no way to know floor plans but I just thought id throw in a possible problem if the step kids get moved

[bunnykissy]

Actually I am a step mom too and those children are just that visitors. They do not live there full time. Thats why its called visitation. There is nothing wrong with those boys camping out in the living room if you all can not afford a bigger place.

[thenewmrs_b]

I think the only issue with putting the baby in with the older kids is that how difficult would it be if the baby woke up in the night and depending in their ages be up for awhile. If $$ allows I would look into a 3 bedroom

[bama_mama]

Idk ima stepmom and to me they are just as much my children and a part of our family as my bio children. I understand that as a first time mom you want to be able to have the full nursery and the traditional everything but the fact is that unfortantly at times us second wives and stepmoms have to remember that its just not like that, we arent our husband firsy marriage or first time being pregnant with a woman and etc. And bc of that bc you do live in a small apartment your baby will just have to share a room with his siblings. Its not fair for their beds to be took down and away just bc their mom alienates them from you guys. Its akready hard enough on the kids bc they dont get to see their dad as much as they would like but if you take their room and beds from them they will feel like strangers or visitors and they arent, they are your children now as well and thats also their home. And i wouldnt blame your husband for being extremely upset with you for that, imagine if you had three other children who wasnt able to come see you but once a month and this was baby was your husbands first biological child and he told you sorry your kids dont live here full time so im taking their beds down and they can sleep on couches abd sleeping bags, im turning their room into a nursery for my baby bc shes lives here full time...you would be upset and hurt and feel like your other children just wasnt welcome.

Im not trying to be ugly or rude but its not fair to the kids. I say try and figure a way to put the nurswry in their room and decorate a corner for him. When you move and have more rooms then he can have his own room but no they arent visitors and you cant just take their beds down and take their room from ghem plus if bio mom finds out its just more ammo and she will be like well if they dont have a room or beds to sleep on they just wont come over period. Trust me mt husbands ex is like that and she would say that same thing which im sure your stepkids mom would