Broken heart :"(

[lil_misss23]

I just told my partner I dont want to be with him. He doesnt seem to care about our relationship or our baby and he crossed the last line last night. I know in the end I will be ok, but right now im not. Im 20 Weeks tomorrow and we found out yesterday that its a girl. My dreams of a happy family are slowly falling apart. I dont know whats going to happen in the next few months. I dont live near my family and I dont have any money. I dont know whats going on in his head because he wont talk to me. Which aids in my decision to leave. Now he says that this has been my plan all along. I will do anything to save us but after everything he's done, I dont even want to be around him. I dont know how to tell my parents. They are so happy for me/us. I dont think I can tell them. I know they will do anything to help me. Im feeling so lost and am worrying about stress and my baby? I need to sort this out :"(

[stacey10]

I knew it!! thats how gutless wonders work... you now have the greastest oportunity to build yourself a fantastic life for yourself and your daughter, dont look back, if you do, make sure its with thanks that your out of a realtionship that was where you wernt being treated with the respect that you and your baby so deserve, its onward and upwards from here :)
Mommy_2_be,  I totally agree with Lesley27 on this and do hope your not blaming yourself for what happened, you may have thoughts of what if I had stayed with him etc, but what if you did and he took you with him? Suicide can be one of the most selfish things to do to your family and friends and can lead to a lifetime of anguish and guilt for those left behind, and its not your fault

[Lesley27]

As horrible and sad as that is to happen to anyone, i dont think its the same situation at all... and regardless no one should ever stay in an abusive relationship, no matter what threats the other gives... you cant be bullied into being someone...

In this case i really feel he was being gutless and trying to make her make the move, some one else said it sounds like this and as it turns out she was right just the fact that he finally said it... so i dont agree woth going and trying to work it out... he has to grow and take responsibility A LOT and the fact that there is baby on the way shows this even more... Every woman, well human being deserves respect from their significant others... it should be an equal give and take relationship and if one of the partners doesnt give and onlly takes it drains the poor "giver" and in the end, eventually there isnt any more give.... so never settle for this as there are REAL men who can truly give a future to this woman and her child.... if by some crazy miracle this guy realizes how immature and stupid he is a TRULY changes then maybe he can be the one but there would have to be some big changes and right now choosing socializing over his pregnant GF is far from it!!

To both of you tho i hope you find healing with time, and mommy2Be im sorry you had to go thru that, suicide isnt something you get over on your own, i really think talking to some one could help as it seems like your taking blame for what was his choice, not yours... you didnt ask for anything but what you deserved and he obviously was sick, its just too bad taht people who have depression or that intense of anger dont step up and ge the help they need but unfortunately thats how the disease works... ive seen suicide too many times and attempts too many times, ive also seen it done just to spite and tortchure someone... like a punishment... either way the survivers of it (you) usually take fault when its really is out of your hands the moment that person made the desition... its horribly sad and cruel... but NOT your fault... and if he was truly sick, which he had to be its impossible to say when he would have done it if the situation was different... and thats not IF thats WHEN

[Mommy__2__be]

When I was 17 and my fiance was 21 he did that to me all the time.he would take off with his friends ignore my calls and acted like I shouldn't ***** about it or worry. If I would have ever missed one of his calls he would snap...we had a lot of good times don't get me wrong but he had a drinking problem and he was abusive to me after 2 years of our relationship I told him I didn't want to live like this and I told him that we won't b together if u can't stop drinking and treat me right he sobered up for two weeks right then one day after work he got drunk called me and told me he was going to kill himself next thing I know I hear something loud over the phone and I worried sick trying to call his family. An hour later I got a call saying he hung himself and I heard the peremedics on the police scanner saying they are doing CPR on 21 year old male my mom rushed me to the hospital I thought he was okay and alive my mom walked out to the car with a police officer and told me he was gone and I flipped right then I felt something leaving my life. It hurt so bad. Just try to let him know wat kind of life u want and ask him wat kind of life does he want and go from there

[Lesley27]

i am so sorry your going thru this. . im glad to hear you r going to your family so you r not alone... right now its so hard to see that you will be ok andit will get better with time, you will still need to grieve and go thru the stages but just like any loss time heals everything... focus on yourself and this baby... you dont need him to make your famiy. you r gonna have your own and youll be a great mom! take care... of both of you!

[lil_misss23]

We just broke up. I know deep down that its the right thing but im a freakin mess right now. I called my parents and am driving home to them in the morning. Maybe when I have the baby he will wake up? It breaks my heart that we wont be a happy family. And that he isnt going to be around for the rest of the pregnancy/the birth/our daughter growing up. One day at a time. I'll have to quit my job. Reality has sunk in and I just cant stop crying. He told me blankly that he doesnt want to be with me or wake up next to me anymore, and there is nothing that will change the way he feels. That was a real stab in the chest. :`( I'll figure it out eventually that I can do this without him.

[jamesruss1]

it all depends on the guy to grow up. I was worst then him always sleep with different girls ever night with I was dating. I thought hanging out with the guys was so cool and the chicks dig me. As I got older I realize its dumb and stuiped. I did drugs and party till 6 am. I met my wife about 2 years ago and we fought for the first 4 months. I never cheater on her but I was with alot girls when she was home. CRAZY, but one night as I was drinking and smoking I thought about my girlfriend and how much she has done for me. I total change my life after that night. Its been 15 months and we are married,I stop drinking and drugs and working 2 jobs,bought my WIFE(yes we got married) and come Sept 2012 I will be a proud father.. This is the best way to make anyone happy they grow up...

[MamaBear0612]

Move out, and tell him when he's ready to talk he can contact you. He's stonewalling you, and it does sound like it's going to unravel anyway...there's power in being the one to walk away, and the last thing you want to do right now with the baby coming is to be the one left in a house all by yourself in a strange city with no one to call on and all the bills to pay. I agree with Lesley27, you need family right now, so if I were you I'd move back closer to family. Besides, being around people who are excited about the blessing that's growing inside of you will help make your breakup easier and the rest of your pregnancy a more happy experience. My child's father and I aren't together, and it's really helped, especially when he was struggling with the pregnancy, to be around people who were happy and excited for me. Truthfully, I'm glad he wasn't around when he was being a sourpuss lol, my pregnancy has been happier for it.

[lil_misss23]

Your right because I dont trust him at all. I've asked him so many times if he wants out and he wont give me an answer. We just moved to a new town a couple Weeks ago. I absolutely love it here! And ive been so happy here. We've been house hunting and talking about the baby...thats why I cant undetstand whats happening. I told him if he doesnt accept that he's in the wrong and try and fix what hes done that im not staying. He didnt even say anything to that! Its doing my head in. If I stay I will feel stupid and if I go I will feel stupid.

[mwhit0]

Im in the same situation I'm 33 wks n do have my mom close by but can't. Depend on her.. we will be ok

[stacey10]

I agree with lesley27 except I think he is doing alot of this behaviour to get you to break up with him because he hasnt got the balls to do it himself, and all the blame for the breakup will be on you (in his eyes) as hes not admitting that there is anything wrong with his behaviour, I wouldnt be able to rust him at all, he's still a boy andhe needs to grow up, unfortunatley it doesnt look like he's in any hurry to do this, some men man-up when their partners become pregnant, some dont, unfortunatley I think you have the latter on your hands and while it would be nice to think he will change his recent behaviour would suggest otherwise, save yourself more heartache and go now.... if he comes crawling back, make him work hard for you and your baby, otherwise he isnt worth the shirt on your back...

[Lesley27]

Personally i would move back closer to your family till you figure this out(where your fam is and support) clearly this guy needs to grow up a lot and doesnt see he is at fault for lying, clearly avoiding your phone calls, complete disregard fro your well being as you are pregnant with his child and if my guy didnt answer the phone i would lose it as it could have been important like your going in premature labour!!  there is no reason for him to be out at the bar all night either! thats a huge disrespect there and from what you have wrote he sounds like a total *ss! you for sure can do a lot better! find someone who respects you and your child cause he clearly doesnt! then he tries to blame it on you?! as if! it sounds like he is trying to make you feel like the bad one and guilt you into staying.... do not give him the satisfaction! if he wants to act like that then he doesnt deserve you! and i dont think your making him the monster, clearly he is doing that all on his own!

[lil_misss23]

Ive tried so many times to sit down and talk to him. But he just starts going off and calling me all the horrible names you can think of because he doesn't wanna talk about anything. The night we found out it was a girl he went out to a pub that had naked chicks and wet tshirt comps. He was supposed to meet me at my work at 8pm when I finished. I just assumed he got a lift home earlier. I didnt know about the girls till later. I got home and he wasnt here. At 1am and after 40 missed calls I was worried sick so drove into town. They wouldnt let me into the pub so I walked around town looking around and then went home. He texted me at 230 saying he was going to stay with girls from the bar. He showed up at home at 4. He hasnt done anything wrong in his eyes therefore wont apologise and end of subject. Hes done this before, but this was the last time for me. I feel like I cant do it anymore. I dont like to say it but ppl dont change right? If he acts like this while im preg :( I feel so bad sitting here making him sound like a monster. Im going to decide what im gonna do over the weekend.

[greatexpectations_4_2012]

I had the same problem for a while with my DF. I know it is hard but you need to tell him exactly how you feel in a calm way. I don't know the whole story but I would say he was scared (like my partner) and trying to figure things out on his own. It was like pulling teeth but I made him talk. I flat out told him that I felt alone and as if he didn't care and if things didn't change that I would leave. Just seriously think about how stressed he may be before you leave. My  own dad had to make me see that men take a pregnancy just as hard as women.

[trying43]

Sometimes things happen that aren't in our control.  Its great your family will help you.  Your best bet is to go where you are loved and supported and right now that's not with him its with your parents.  Its hard right now but it will get better.  Best of luck to u!

[breanna_d]

* happy family go (fir now cause u can still find an amazing guy later on who loves u, deserves y & cares for your baby) is horrifying, especially if you valued the dream a lot or had hopes it would fix things. But having self respect is a great example for your new little bundle. And by putting yours & the babies needs in front of a selfish mans you r teaching the baby just that! See you r already being a great mom :-)

Hold your head up, a better life awaits u two.

[breanna_d]

I was a single mom of two for a while. I stayed with the dad outta fear that I couldn't support my kids alone. Depending where u live, there is a lot of financial help available. U get baby bonus, family allowance, child tax benefit, or whatever program is in your area. Also since u have time now before delivery, research subsidies. There can be babysitting/daycare if u want ti work. Some even allow family members to collect it so if u move closer and feel more comfortable with leaving baby with someone u know while u do part time... There is also child support. It can be done!

Facing single parenthood is hard & scary. Letting your dreams of happy family

[PJ466]

Hey

Don’t despair. Hope everything works out for you two. Pregnancy can bring all sorts of pressures to relationship. Hope you guys come to some sort of consensus.