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676912 tn?1332812551

Choosing sex?

I was watching t.v. last night and saw these four women who had all had boys and wanting a girl. There was this IVF type treatment, I think it was called PGD, where they could harvest eggs, wait a week and see if any were girls and implant just that sex...

Just wanted to see what opinions people had about this.

***REMEMBER*** These are OPINIONS of others, please be respectful of that so this post doesn't get deleted!!!




My personal opinion:
I really don't feel like it's right for people to be able to pick what sex they get. I mean so many women are out there who can't have kids, and are on waiting lists for various reasons to be able to have a baby and don't even care if it's a boy or girl. You have women who can't afford to have a baby because of how expensive treatment is, yet there are people who get to throw away embryos because they aren't a certain sex, and only implant the sex they want...it's just not right to me. NOT to make this a religious discussion!!! BUT I'm also against it from a Christian point of view.
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676912 tn?1332812551
Forgot to add, the show said that there was a certain country that had banned doing it unless it was deemed medically necessary? For what medical reason would you need to have a certain sex child?
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Avatar universal
Im against it. I think IUI is ok... But IVF is a little "iffy" for me. I definatly dont agree with "choosing"..... Thats what the country of China "used to" do. Many ppl would abort if it wasnt the "correct" gender. Thats what i feel "choosing" the female/male embryo is like. Its like aborting. That is only my opinion. That is my view of it. I think getting pregnant is not in our power. I dont agree with ppl being in control of what science is supposed to do. And those that argue against what im saying. Keep an open mind. THERE is plenty of children that want a mom and dad out there. Plenty of children. I think ppl forget that all to often.
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1194973 tn?1385503904
I'm not personally religious so that doesn't factor into my opinions. I am against it, because I don't understand the point behind it. Like smj said, there are millions of woman who would do anything to have a baby of any sex and can't have one. I understand how you might want one of a particular sex, but at least they have the ability to have children and should be thankful for any baby they're blessed with.  
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1035252 tn?1427227833
I'm against it. it seems like it's against nature, all religious arguments aside. I think it's a little snobby to say that you would want one gender and not the other, personally....it's different than saying "I would prefer one" because once you find out you still love the other one...but to change one just becuase you don't want a boy or you don't want a girl? I don't agree with it.

I agree with julianovak on this...it's too reminiscent of Chinese abortions before laws were passed to protect girls. even though the child lives, it may forever suffer from gender confusion..I mean, how do you know? would you really want to change your perfect little baby?

it's just plain weird if nothing else, lol.
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1035252 tn?1427227833
I also want to add that it's a LOT of money that could be put towards, oh I don't know, a college education? instead of changing what hangs (or doesn't hang) between your kid's legs....just imo.
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676912 tn?1332812551
Ashelen~~~I'm not sure I'm following you with the gender confusion/changing the baby?


With what they were doing on the show yesterday after they harvest/fertilize the eggs they were waiting for a week to see if any matured and then removing a single cell from the growing embryo and testing to see what sex it was.

The women on the show all had boys and none had been able to conceive a girl, which is why they were attempting to implant and successfully carry a girl embryo.
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676912 tn?1332812551
LOL, Ivy! Very true.
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Avatar universal
HAHA thats too funny! Honestly i cant imagine "choosing" a child from lets say a store. Thats ridiculos how ppl can come up with this. Im pregnant now, i know ill be ecstatic with either gender!!!! As long as my child will be healthy it doesnt bother me at all. Even with my first child, DD, I didnt mind either. Im so happy to have a girl, she melts my heart/daddys heart, she amazes me every day. Its a matter of what kind of person you are to have the guts to choose a baby according to your likes or dislikes..... Its as rediculous as wishing instead of a blue eyes child you wished she had green eyes. IMO.
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184674 tn?1360860493
My opinion is not really for or against it, but rather, if you are going to play God when you are not God, be prepared for whatever consequences you get.
Just because you want a child of a certain sex, and you get what you want in that aspect, does not mean you are going to get a child free of potential health issues.
What if the child develops with a life threatening or life altering defect? And therefore is not all you hoped and wanted. I sincerely believe people go into such decisions expecting the outcome to be a perfect family picture that *they* made, they played a hand in how the cards fell, or rather, were "placed." That doesn't always happen. Then what? Would the efforts made and money spent not have been "worth it?"

I guess the way I also see it is that a human being is a human being, even if another human took control to choose something about the outcome of the existance of another life. Ultimately, we are all here for a purpose, whether or not we are male or female. There are no "accidents" in the creation of life, which is first and foremost in God's hands. I believe if He doesn't have a life in His plans, He simply won't create it.
I personally would not do this, but I would not judge a person who does. A life is created, is led into existance. Why should it have any condemnation or judgement attached to it because of a choice someone else made?
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184674 tn?1360860493
Let me add that I am against "throwing away" a human life if it isn't what you wanted or expected it to be.
In my above post, I'm referring to having no judgement to people who do this and accept and embrace the outcome they get, even if it's not everything they expected. I would also hope they "adopt out" the leftover embryos. I have a co-worker who had IVF, and they have the option of adopting out the remaining embryos they have left if they choose not to have any more children.
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676912 tn?1332812551
AHP84~~~I'm not judging the life that is created, I believe all life is precious and an innocent child should not be blamed for actions taken by the ones who made it. BUT I am questioning the ones doing the creating.
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1035252 tn?1427227833
That's very beautiful Audrey...and it's a good thing to remember. I would accept and love any family member who decided to do it, or friend, but I could not personally even imagine considering it.

What I meant, Brinny, was that if you choose the sex to be a boy...but say that for all our science we're wrong about when the choice of sex/gender occurs in the process of embryo growth...so say you time it wrong. even by a day. then you choose a boy that was meant to be a girl and then you have the potential that forever there will be girlish tendencies in your son because we don't 100% understand the process and relationships between gender and sex...we can't even figure out what's different in the minds of people who are homosexual and heterosexual that makes someone with an XX want to be with someone with an XX instead of an XY chromosome pair.

get what I'm saying? we don't understand the process well enough IMO to say that by choosing sex we're also assigning gender. you may choose a boy and get a boy who feels like a girl.
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1436083 tn?1291465361
Like AHP84 said, if anyone decides to play God, they should be ready for the consequences. Ok so even if they choose the sex, implant it, and then the baby stays, and they find out it's a boy anyway, what would they do? Abort it and keep trying until they get a girl?? That's s crime agaisnt nature.. Pure and Simple!
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676912 tn?1332812551
Ivy~Oh ok. That makes sense.

I'm not sure how I would feel if I knew a friend/family member were doing it. I mean of course I would accept their decisions, but I wouldn't necessarily suggest it. IMO you get what you get, you want a baby...you get a baby. I wonder why happy and healthy isn't enough?

Anyone have a clue on the "medically necessary" part of it?
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1035252 tn?1427227833
I don't know...if perhaps they were medically only cleared for one pregnancy ever, and they wanted one particular gender? but even that seems like preference...I have no clue.
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676912 tn?1332812551
Yeah...I was thinking about it, I mean the whole cord blood thing, and all that...I've never really read up on it, I don't know if the sex of the baby being born matters for a transplant...even though, the commercials I've seen the baby whose cord blood saved the sibling was the same sex....hmmm....I feel a google search coming on.
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1035252 tn?1427227833
hmm good question. or you could call the cordbank ppl!
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Avatar universal
I agree! I want a boy and we bd in positions to get a boy but that's as far as I'd go. I would never "make" a boy. If I have a girl then I was meant to have 3 beautiful girls! I've hear of this before know and always thought it was insane!
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Avatar universal
I didn't read any other comments because I didn't want influence on my opinion.

I feel that this should only be done in situations where genetics play a vital role in ensuring your child isn't born with a genetic problem. For instance there are certain diseases that plague females more than males and vice versa. If a couple wanted to have a healthy child without fear of losing them to a fatal disease or setting them up for a life of pain and misery I think this is a valuable tool.

But I am NOT at all into Designer Babies (as they're called) for the heck of it. We are blessed to have the children we have and if we had selected which fertilized eggs to implant we could've missed out on the blessings we have today.
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Avatar universal
Bravo to many of the comments above! I think we're all on the same page so far. It just seems wrong to choose one gender over another. Religion aside, of course, there is just something morally wrong with it. Put God in the mix and I agree with the other commenters; be prepared for the consequences. There is an Old Testament story of a man who begged God to not kill his son after God had let him know his son would die at a young age. He begged and begged and begged. God relented and said to be prepared for the consequences. That son grew up and became the WORST king to ever rule. He killed women and babies, for instance and was a horrible tyrant.

We don't always know the plans God has for us; the good, the bad or the ugly. But they all work themselves out for good in the end. So even in the case of genetics I can't say I'm wholeheartedly FOR choosing gender but I can see why it might be beneficial to someone whose child might be born with Tay Sach's (children die before age 5 with that particular disease). I personally would never put genetics over God.

Okay my spiel is done.
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676912 tn?1332812551
JoyRenee~~~I think you just answered my question for why it may be medically necessary, but it still doesn't make a lot of sense to do it for possible diseases/genetic problems.

The possibility of the opposite sex's issues is still there. Even with genetic testing in pregnancy, there's no guarantee your child won't have problems, i.e. (I was on a Discovery Health kick last night) there was another show on about parents who have to deal with bipolar children, and one with parents dealing with schizophrenic children. Yes you can say "this" runs in my family, or "this"...on my dad's side there are many heart problems with the men, this doesn't mean my brother will have heart problems. IMO it doesn't mean my parents should have stopped with just my sister and I to prevent having a son and him having heart problems...my dad is bipolar, as was a relative of his...he's also schizophrenic. There's no guarantee to be a part of any of my kids, and there's no guarantee it won't be.
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676912 tn?1332812551
Suffering the consequences is a very good point. "you get what you ask for" may be something they regret later on...
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Avatar universal
Well Tay Sach's isn't even a gender-related genetic problem but there are genetic issues that are more prevalent in one gender over another. I just can't think of any right now! Being that those are probably so rare there shouldn't be a whole lot people abusing this technology just to get a gender they want. We're so into getting what we want and getting it as fast as we can in America. It makes me so sad! I have to remind myself to SLOW down sometimes and just take life in.
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676912 tn?1332812551
Oh I agree 100%...I get so mad at DH for passing someone on the road who is just turning down a street/getting off the highway...It's not gonna kill him to get where we're going 30 seconds later. I HATE seeing people weaving in and out of traffic...we really should slow down and enjoy life! It's not like you have SOOO much time on this earth to do all these things, if you accomplish everything on your "before I die" checklist, congrats to you, think of some more stuff!

It's not just America they do it in, but we do get what we want here. Being in Korea for a while really changed my perspective on America, almost makes me embarrassed to say I'm an American when it comes to some things...
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