Pregnant And Don't Know What To Do

[lilmummy]

I'm currently pregnant with number 2, I'm 2 Months along, I thought I was ready but lately I've been feeling so stressed that I know longer think I'm ready, I've been with babys daddy for 4 and a half years. I feel so stressed because I'm having to do all the house work as my boyfriend spends alot of time on the computer playing games and If i bring up the computer and me wanting him to cut down it just ends up in an arguement's. This morning we had an arguement and he made me feel completly useless like i do nothing.

Please someone help me

WHAT DO I DO?

[cherylsangel]

OMG! I am in the same boat. I am 31 weeks along with my first and have been with the baby's father for almost 6 years now!. He spends ALL DAY on the computer playing games and going on the internet. We live in a fairly big house and he doesnt do ANYTHING! I go to work all day and come home to a disgusting house and have to clean up like 2 hours everyday. He only works part time and everytime I get on his case about finding more work we get into an argument, I don't even like to go home anymore because I know I cannot relax at all. ANything I try to bring up turns into an argument, like the other I was stressing because our nursery hasnt even been started and hes like theres plenty of time, dont worry about it! Plenty of time?! We only have 2 months left, what if this baby came tomorrow (God forbid), but still, I hope things work out for you and you can have a happy pregnancy, I don't have any advice however cuz I cant seem to get my man to change at all and I have a hard time expressing my feelings in words, I usually just cry when I am frustrated. Good luck!

[beanie485]

Tell him he needs to shape up or ship out it takes two to make a baby and it's his responsibility as well. But if you really feel like you are not ready for another baby you can always put it up for adoption there are a lot of people out there who would love to have children and can't and would gladly give the baby a great home there are a lot of options you can do open adoption which is where you can stay in contact with the family that adopts the baby that way you get see how your little is growing up and there is closed adoptions where once the baby is adopted that's it the baby stays with its adopted family and you don't see them anymore there are also places where like if you decided you do want to put the baby up for adoption then whatever family you choose helps with some if not all your medical bills while you are pregnant or maybe your boyfriend will take the hints and step up to do what he should do and help you out

[AnnieBrooke]

Sometimes when someone is feeling the need for escape, they can disappear into the computer because it brings instant gratification.  He probably feels sorry for himself, "this is my only small fun in life" kind of thinking, when you bring it up.  If he is really on the computer all the time, he probably needs to get a reminder of how futile this is in the long run in terms of his getting his long-term goals accomplished.  But it might be to the point where the topic is so charged that he might not take that message well if it comes from you.  One thing you can do is ask him about his long-term goals, or if he has none, his long-term hopes.  They certainly don't include sitting around on the computer all day, I'm sure, but you would need to have him in an uplifted mood even to think about them, and that isn't going to happen when you're fighting.  

What do *you* want for yourself in the long term?  What do you want your life to look like in, say, seven years, fifteen years, or 25 years?  Maybe you two can start talking about that.  It can be a very interesting and cheering conversation for a married couple to have.  (Or a long-term partnership.)  If you can talk about it with him without drawing a lecturing conclusion (i.e., you don't get to say the obvious, such as "You've got to get your butt off that computer, then, how is playing games going to get you there," etc. etc.) you might be able to move him a bit off the chair and towards some of it.

I'm sure you are doing fine, and are not useless.  I'm sorry this is happening against the backdrop of another pregnancy.  I don't mean this harshly, but one thing to remember is that if it really, really turns out to be too much, you can always place a baby for adoption or fostering.  I am not suggesting it!!!  I am just saying, it can help when you feel entirely miserable and trapped, to know that there is a safe out that does not involve an abortion.  It's kind of like a safety valve for those really bad days.  Again, I'm not saying that is where you should go, at all.  But for some really frustrated days, it can help to know there are always options.

Good luck, honey.