Company right after delivery..

[LauraB78]

Hi ladies..

I am having yet another meltdown..

I will make this as ahort as I can...

My Mom is partially disabled. She lives in FL and I live in MA.. Last week she fell and broke her foot and is in a "boot" of some sort. She told me she wants to come early January and stay until end of January/beginning of February to be here when Jaxson arrives. I told her that was too long of a visit (and she cant help on crutches.), and I wasn't sure I wanted immediate company and we left it at  that.I told her Ken and I had talked a lot about it and he told his family we will call when we are up to company and that we wanted some time to adjust as a new family alone..

I just found out last night she has booked airfare arriving in MA January 7.. I am sooo friggen p!ssed. This is my first child ( I am 30 years old) and I told her I wasn't sure I wanted anyone around and that we were considering have no company for at least a week.. She has booked this as a "surprise" but my niece told me b.c she knew I would be upset. My Mom has been unemployed/disabled for over a year so I know she saved and scrimped to make this trip even possible but I dont want her around for a friggen month! And I didnt want her (or anyone) else around for a week or two..

Ken is also upset b.c he doesnt deal well w. company anyway and thinks it is rude that my Mother is meddlesome. I dont know what to do.. I am freaking out and totally emotional. I tried to be nice about it b/c I obviously love my Mother very much and didn;t want to hurt her feelings, but she is SUPER controlling, and I dont know how to un-do this.. She cant change her flight b.c she cant afford too and I really feel strongly about having some space and just having Ken and I there for the birth, etc.. I am beside myself upset right now..

Any advice?

[LauraB78]

Thanks.. I just emailed her and nicely asked if she had "surprise" booked a flight and that she needed to tell me asap b/c it wasnt part of the plan, etc. etc.. Maybe I can get her to AT LEAST change the dates and make it a little shorter of a trip.

[Mumita]

I understand what you are saying, but there really isn't much you can do about it right now right?  And she's going to have to understand that you have things that you want to do in a certain way.  Just try to get her to change the dates.   Not to cancel, just to change the dates.

[LauraB78]

I know.. Most people dont follow the schedule from day 1 b.c it is too challenging.. Thats why Ken & I just want Ken & I around.. Its going to be exhausting but it is very important to us.. I am NOT doing demand feedinsg and middle of the night feedings for months on end.. I just wont.. I am excited to add Jaxson to my life, not have my life revolve around him.. Ok, I think I wont say anything else.. Clearly everyone else loves their Mom around 24-7 and wants her there.. I just dont and am getting frustrated..

I DO sincerely thank you all for your input! Thx! XO

[Mumita]

I have a friend that is just like that.  But when she gave birth her parents were there and she was almost begging them not to leave in the end because they helped her out more than she thought they would.  Also she thought that it would be easy to put the baby on schedule, that the baby would adjust, NOPE, she and her husband just had to adjust to the baby's agenda.

[LauraB78]

We are trying a feeding/napping/sleeping schedule from day 1.

[Mumita]

Well some airlines if you cancel a flight, they will allow you to re-use the ticket at another time as long as you book it to the same city.  Which airline is she traveling with?  You can call the airline and find out, she wont loose her money she'd just come later.
Also, if she doesn't help out, make her help out. give her the baby when she's sitting on the couch eating bom boms and tell her that you are taking a nap.  Stuff like that.  How many plans could you possibly have with a newborn in the first few days?  She doesn't need to be in the delivery room, I'm not allowing anyone but my husband there.
But I know my mom and my MIL and they'll be thre cooking and cleaning mainly and changing a few diapers.  It'll be sad for me and my husband when they leave because then we'll really have to take on the full baby duty.