Disgusted. This can't be normal!?

[Lilsis90]

I know this could stir some people up, but I have always been this was.  I am 20 years old married to a 27 year old man whom I love dearly.  He wants kids, I don't.  It's not just that I don't want kids, but the idea of being pregnant DISGUSTS me.  
No matter how hard I try, I cannot get excited about the possibility of being pregnant, about having something live inside me.  It reminds me of a parasite.  I hate the pregnant woman look, I hate the thought of not being in control of my mood and being sick.  The sound of a crying baby makes my skin crawl.  I can be around other people's kid, but I can never bring myself to touch or hold them.
I know my husband is at the age to have the urge to start a family, and he know's that I don't want to, but I don't think he know's to what extent.  I'm afraid to tell him how I really feel.
Basically, I'm asking what is wrong with me!  I know this is not normal, and I don't care to hear, "That will change once you're actually pregnant!", because it won't...It didn't last time.
I NEED HELP and I just need to know that someone read this so I'm not TOTALLY ALONE.

[vacuumprincess]

There is nothing wrong with you.  You definately have the right to feel the way you do.

You are very young.  your thoughts on this may change, but they may not.  However, it is unfair to keep this from your husband.  You need to talk about this.

if when you are older & babies still make you feel queezy, maybe you could adopt or foster older childern & have a family that way.

I have a 6 yr old.  I'm currently almost 38 weeks pregnant.  The thought of this baby scares & embarasses the heck out of me.  I do not like to hold newborns either.  I'm afraid I will break them!  Some issues I will have to get over.  When I had my daughter 6 yrs ago, I didn't think twice about picking her up.  instinct just kicks in & I'm sure it will for me this time too.

[Lilsis90]

I'm concerned that if I sit down and talk about it with him, that he might think that he's just wasting his time and move on to someone who does want to have kids.  I'm not saying that I NEVER want children, but right now, I can't even pretend to get excited at the thought.  But even 5 years down the line might be too much of a wait for him.  I cannot fathom life without him and that makes me feel completely helpless.

[sweetpea03]

It's okay to not want children, but you do need to tell your husband about this, so that he can figure out what to do. Deciding on whether or not to have children is a big deal and it's important to be on the same page as your spouse as to where you stand on this issue. I know couples who are in their 40s and never had children because neither wanted any and they are completely happy. Some others changed their minds down the road, and others relationships ended because one really wanted children and the other didn't. I do think that you really need to sit down with your husband and talk to him about all of this and then you can figure out where to go from there.  

[Lilsis90]

Others have mentioned it before but it's really hard cope the thought that I might have anxiety issues.  I am terrified that if I give in and have a kid for my husband that I will end up resenting both of them, medicated or not.

[witchcop69]

lots of people feel like you do i was pregnant and didnt like it i have problems bonding with my son who is now 6 years old i found out i am suffering from severe anxiety that caused this feelings i am on medication and it is helping. hope this helps

[alaysha]

Before I was ever pregnant the thought of having something living inside of me freaked me out. Even when I was pregnant I sometimes just didn't want to feel anything because feeling movement inside of you that you cant control is a very surreal feeling and not something that necessarily all people like. And trust me when I say that even if you don't like other peoples children it will COMPLETELY change when you have your own child. I don't really like children but I like my own. You are still so young and I'm sure if you spoke to your husband about your feelings he would understand. I also think that it may be beneficial to get some sort of counseling so that maybe it can help you deal with your feelings.