Sex/pregnancy education in 20-year-olds?!

[Ashelen]

So apparently CNN has dropped the ball. They wrote an article (i'll post the link at the bottom of this post) about how 18-29 year olds have "gaps" in their sex education and information about pregnancy and birth control methods. Hello?! How out of touch are they?? They're complaining that most 18-29 year olds are not fully aware of the benefits and methodology of birth control like condoms and pills. Truthfully though, does it matter? These people are adults. If they're having unprotected sex, they are old enough to deal with the consequences. CNN is completely ignoring the teenagers who use the pull-out method regularly, or the ones who believe that you're still a virgin if sex didn't hurt or make you bleed, or the ones who believe that peeing before sex makes a guy's sperm infertile. Seriously, Mr/Mrs.Article Writer! focus on the target group that needs the most help!!!!

Unfortunately this "knowledge gap" in people under 18 is a DIRECT result of the "abstinence only" programs that public schools now espouse. I personally abstained from sex until I was 18 because I did not want to be pregnant in high school, but that doesn't mean that sex education wasn't available to me. It was, in fact, BECAUSE of the sex ed that I received that convinced me to abstain!!!!!! I knew the chances of pregnancy and I wasn't comfortable with the odds.

While I think it's ideal to encourage kids under 18 to abstain completely from sex, it is NOT PRACTICAL, and keeping knowledge from them about how to protect themselves is the height of foolishness!!!!

Sorry about this rant, but I couldn't believe that the article targeted working-age adults as the problem age group for unplanned pregnancies. This is ridiculous.

http   ://    www   . cnn . com    /   2009  /    HEALTH /  12  / 15  /  sex  .report / index.   html

sorry you have to take the gaps out but I didn't want MH to turn the entire link into *'s

[JoyRenee]

My daughters will know more than they probably will want to; not just about sex but about their cycles and reproductive health as well. I've already thought of all of this in great detail! Husby has already handed those reins over to me entirely to share at my discretion but I hope to have him give his input so they have a male perspective. If you're open about it early it isn't weird to kids; it's the norm. They'll have confidence, higher self awareness and esteem and will most likely value their self worth. They should make better and smarter choices... knowledge is power!

Oh and I made a typo above- our sex ed began in 4th grade, not 5th. I distinctly remember the male and female anatomy sketches where we had to label everything (like testes and vas defrens). We also had those lifelike babies we had to carry around for a week!

[Ashelen]

You're all completely right about that. Like I said I really don't know that many people who got good, informative "talks" out of their parents, so pretty much all their knowledge came from sex ed and I think that's the norm for kids these days. And if there's no comprehensive (or at least slightly informative!) sex ed, they're getting it from uninformed peers. Parents should be entirely responsible for informing their kids to the point that they can protect themselves and make good decisions, but unfortunately it seems not to be the case.

[JoyRenee]

I agree that it starts with parents! Unfortunately so many parents are too embarrassed or ignorant on the subject or just plain don't think about bringing it up. I have THREE girls and the older two already know how babies are made (vaguely; didn't get into great detail but explained sperm and egg, etc.) and how they get out of mommy's tummy.

So schools really need to step it up. I think they fear recourse from parents and the community if they get "too detailed" or graphic or whatever. But if parents aren't going to do it themselves then they need to let professional teachers talk about this on neutral ground with pre-teens and teens.

[mami1323]

I learned everything I needed to know from fifth grade up to 12th grade.  I remember starting in fifth grade with those videos about the differences between boys and girls, then we had this woman named Sydel Berlin come in from Planned Parenthood and they would put on plays about HIV/AIDS and other sex related issues.  They were quite interesting and entertaining and I think it was a great way to make us knowledgeable about sex.  In hs we had the typical sex ed classes but I already knew a lot from before.  Let's say I was an expert...lol.  We had a few teen pregnancies and one of them being a friend of mine.  But I never had any pregnancy scares, I went on birth control pills when I was 16 and I always used condoms.  I can honestly say I don't think I would've ended up with my knowledge if it wasn't for what I learned in school.  Yes, my mom talked to me but I was so uncomfortable I just wanted the conversation to end and so I barely paid attention because I hated every minute of it.  So I think learning it in school amongst my peers made it stick.

[rebekah385]

I think that parents should be the first one to talk with their kid's about sex, however having said that i personally know a lot of parents who are uncomfortable talking with their kid's about sex and protection ect. So I think it is good for the schools to teach sex ed and all commponants of it, absentience, condoms, birth control ect. Also i do nt know exactly what age they are doing sex ed now, i graduated 7 years ago and most of my friends took sex ed in 9th grade, butI had a friend who got pregnant and then miscarried at 11 (I know thats crazy young, she looked at least 17 or 18 but the maturity was not there) , also my mother-in-law had 5 children by 22 with the first being when she was 14, she then taught her children abstinence only and subsequently 4 ofher children had children by age 18, one of them had 5 at 22 just like her mom. my sister in law told me she did'nt know anything abut condoms or birth control or even how a girl gets pregnant before she got pregnant because she got pregnant in 8 th grade and they did'nt have sex ed until 9th grade at her school!! anyway sorry this getting really long. on the other hand i my self was taught abstinece only became sexually active at 17 and went on birthcontrol and used condoms with anyone telling me too. of course I did end up pregnant any had my first at 18, but it was not because i was'nt avoiding! I have since gotten pregnant on 3 different forms of birth control the stuff does'nt work for me!!! but i agree there should be more in school although I think more parents should talk with their children, if you build up slowly (such as starting with, which areas are private and the difference between girls and boys) and then slowly add on it should never be that uncomfortable.

[Ashelen]

exactly!!

[Atia_Julii]

We had a few teen pregnancies at my school, and the interesting thing is that it was usually the girls whose parents pulled them out of sex ed classes because they found them immoral.  I took sex ed in school, and if anything, it taught me that I was no where near ready to have it.  

I agree that abstinence is the safest route, but I'm also a realist and know that people WILL have sex. . . so let's educate them.

[Ashelen]

Well from what I understand this more aggressive Abstinence-Only campaign is a legacy of the Bush administration and is fairly new, and only now beginning to phase out. It would mean that most children currently between the ages of 11-17 were raised with the Abstinence Only program being their main source of sex ed, and with VERY little education about ways to protect themselves. Like I said, and like tired said, to me the most effective thing was knowing the truth about STD's and pregnancies; I had plenty of opportunity in HS to become sexually active but I simply didn't want to take the risk. However, if I had simply been told not to have sex without knowing what the risks were, I most certainly would have been active.

I guess I'm just frustrated because there is no proof that the Abs-Only program works, in fact there seems to be proof to the contrary, and yet we still put our children into the system that allows it. I suppose they think it's the parents' job to educate their children about sex, but I know very few people who had comprehensive, all-inclusive talks with their parents about sex, risky behavior, and pregnancy and STD prevention. My "talk" consisted of (in college, I might add, so already too late for the basics, Dad!) "Are you having sex?" "Maybe" "Well, okay." and that was that. Luckily I kept my nose clean!

[tiredbuthappy]

i learned everything i ever needed to know about contraception and std's in public highschool. of course they also teach abstinence, but like someone said, knowing more about the true risks of pregnancy, how it can happen, etc... was more effective in my decisions.
i saw girls at college who didn't have sex ed in highschool. they did some really stupid things.

[natemomma27]

When I was in H.S (which was only 6 years ago!) our school did not have a sex-ed program. When we were in elementary school the boys and girls were seperated and the topic of puberty was discussed, but it ended there. It was up to the parents to discuss sex/stds to their children independently. We only had 1 pregnancy in our senior class, but that didn't mean only one (or two for that matter) person was having sex!

I wish there was a sex-ed program in the schools around b/c since I've graduated I have noticed an increase in young mothers who are still in high school or have dropped out in our area.

*On a side note, when I went to register my son for kindergarten I felt a little overwhelmed b/c I seemed to be the youngest mother there (had my son when I was 18/19) that was until a 20 year old woman was there registering her daughter!

[Ashelen]

Good points, gillian. I still think that teaching about protection during sex is our only recourse, because I doubt we'll be able to stop the numbers of sexually active teenagers from increasing and the important thing is to provide knowledge about protection.

Joy: I went to a school where we had NO teen pregnancies, but we had really comprehensive sex ed that was required. I also went to a private school. From what I understand, the Abstinence Only program is spreading, and teen pregnancies are increasing. How can this not be connected?

[JoyRenee]

I was an HIV/AIDS educator and our health classes from grade 5 and up taught a ton about sex ed. and how conception occurs. Of course it didn't get into all the gritty details but I felt it was a great program. It was rare to see a preggo teen at our school.

[gillianl]

I mostly agree, the only thing i wish i learned more about in school was STD's and things as i really only knew a little about HIV nothing else.  I was also never told anything about smear tests which show any abnormalities and as a result of that my cousin is now terminally ill with cervical cancer.  I first learned about condoms and tampons when i was 10/11 and in primary school which i don't remember much of but my periods started when i was 11 so i was pretty glad we had that talk all i remember was the boys laughing their heads off.

I also never knew condoms were used as a protection against STD's not just pregnancy or i'd have used them more also as i've never used them though lucky for me i have no infections.  When i went to the doc with my mum for the pill i was 14 years old and i thought she was killing me i was raging at the time but can now see why she did it why on earth i lost my virginity at 14 years old i will never know.

I just hope some people reading this will feel the same effect i do now, the government really has to take a good look and ask why are so many children having under age sex nowadays than 30 years ago and what can they do to change it