Aa
RANT...Again. I HATE this state...a lil OT.
So, DF got laid off at work about 2 months ago. He was working at a really good paying assembly plant making really good money. But unfortunately Iowa is closing all those plants in the state by November. I was working as a bartender but got laid off because of my obvious bump...as they said the job was not the type for pregnant women(To risky) because the bartenders were also being paid cash to be "bouncers" when the drunk kids got into fights and so forth.
I have put applications in everywhere at diners for waitressing but because I am pregnant they will not hire me due to slip and fall risks. I talked to local DHS and they said their not allowed to do that, but technically they can because there is a loop hole, which states that if the woman conceived while working there, then they can't be fired, but it's the owners/managers discretion whether they hire a woman who is already pregnant at the time of the application/interview.
My electricity, water, cell phone, and cable are all to be shut off by Thursday. I am going to my local community action to see if they can help, but they can only offer services once every 12 months...so basically a one time thing. I could get on temp state aid...however, because I am pregnant I'm not going to be able to find a freaking job. DF went to renew his drivers license and found out it has been suspended because of an unpaid speeding ticket he got about 2 years ago, so in order to clear that up we have to pay $234.00 plus the fee's to get the license. And he has to have a valid drivers license to apply with Temp services for employment.
My dead beat ex husband who was ordered to pay me child support in April, has yet to make a payment. We went to a show cause court hearing, and the ex was not found in contempt due to hiring a new lawyer and lack of information to provide to the hearing. The judge told my ex to make his child support payments, but refuses to anyways. So, I have absolutely no idea what i'm going to do. My parent's won't help...I have been pretty much disowned because of their religion which I'm not involved with. I have no friends and no family who can help. So I have no idea what i'm going to do.
I have no idea what i'm going to do. On top of all that, I have been cramping all day. Had to enroll my oldest in school, but can't afford to get the school supplies he needs. I'm just stressed out. I'm writing this as I look at work from home things online....Maybe i'll try paid survey's lmao.
I have put applications in everywhere at diners for waitressing but because I am pregnant they will not hire me due to slip and fall risks. I talked to local DHS and they said their not allowed to do that, but technically they can because there is a loop hole, which states that if the woman conceived while working there, then they can't be fired, but it's the owners/managers discretion whether they hire a woman who is already pregnant at the time of the application/interview.
My electricity, water, cell phone, and cable are all to be shut off by Thursday. I am going to my local community action to see if they can help, but they can only offer services once every 12 months...so basically a one time thing. I could get on temp state aid...however, because I am pregnant I'm not going to be able to find a freaking job. DF went to renew his drivers license and found out it has been suspended because of an unpaid speeding ticket he got about 2 years ago, so in order to clear that up we have to pay $234.00 plus the fee's to get the license. And he has to have a valid drivers license to apply with Temp services for employment.
My dead beat ex husband who was ordered to pay me child support in April, has yet to make a payment. We went to a show cause court hearing, and the ex was not found in contempt due to hiring a new lawyer and lack of information to provide to the hearing. The judge told my ex to make his child support payments, but refuses to anyways. So, I have absolutely no idea what i'm going to do. My parent's won't help...I have been pretty much disowned because of their religion which I'm not involved with. I have no friends and no family who can help. So I have no idea what i'm going to do.
I have no idea what i'm going to do. On top of all that, I have been cramping all day. Had to enroll my oldest in school, but can't afford to get the school supplies he needs. I'm just stressed out. I'm writing this as I look at work from home things online....Maybe i'll try paid survey's lmao.
I forgot to mention, when I sent the paper work to VA that say's I have custody and he has to pay child support, they sent me a paper back stating, that due to him filing bankruptcy, sending me my child support would cause financial distress to him. I don't see how bankruptcy is causing that "distress" because he just rented out a HUGE house, bought a brand new VW jetta, and has a ton of really fancy electronics, which he listed on the paper work for the divorce. He makes 4k a month....I don't see how he is hurting?
LauraB78-My water bill is $121.30 and electricity runs about $250.40.
As far as contacting the VA I can't access his records. I have sent them the paper that states I am supposed to get child support, but he filed bankruptcy, so that OUR car would be taken away, but I was able to buy it back. I can't report him to anyone as far as military personnel because since he is 100% disabled, he can't work, he was discharged due to his conditions. And yes, I would think that if the government is paying him a sh!t load of money a month, they would see that he would pay his support so that I don't have to use any assistance. I hate using state aid, I don't mind the insurance as it is way better than some of the insurance plans offered by employment here. But as far as FIP or TANF my child support would go to pay the state back. I only qualify for a small amount...$268.00 but I don't see why the state would take all $700.00 and keep it and just give me the $268.00??? But hopefully after the court hearings on the 24th and 25th, I won't have to worry about him not paying, as we're entering another show cause/contempt action against him.
mami1321- I did get your PM and I do plan on trying to use it. Now that DF has a job lined up we would be able to make the payments. Thank you so much!
Ohh, Did I mention....DF's place of employment happens to be the same place my ex's dad works at!!!! LOL that's going to be a HUGE kick in the a$$ for the ex. :)
As far as contacting the VA I can't access his records. I have sent them the paper that states I am supposed to get child support, but he filed bankruptcy, so that OUR car would be taken away, but I was able to buy it back. I can't report him to anyone as far as military personnel because since he is 100% disabled, he can't work, he was discharged due to his conditions. And yes, I would think that if the government is paying him a sh!t load of money a month, they would see that he would pay his support so that I don't have to use any assistance. I hate using state aid, I don't mind the insurance as it is way better than some of the insurance plans offered by employment here. But as far as FIP or TANF my child support would go to pay the state back. I only qualify for a small amount...$268.00 but I don't see why the state would take all $700.00 and keep it and just give me the $268.00??? But hopefully after the court hearings on the 24th and 25th, I won't have to worry about him not paying, as we're entering another show cause/contempt action against him.
mami1321- I did get your PM and I do plan on trying to use it. Now that DF has a job lined up we would be able to make the payments. Thank you so much!
Ohh, Did I mention....DF's place of employment happens to be the same place my ex's dad works at!!!! LOL that's going to be a HUGE kick in the a$$ for the ex. :)
Actually, I kinda fibbed.. We are on a well, so the only utility affected is our electric bill which runs the pump... My Mom lives in FL, and HER water bill is around $40. I just said mine b/c it was easier than explaining that. =D Our electric bill is around $300/month.
Oh darlin I am so sorry that you are going through all of this! I can't imagine how stressful it must be for you. I agree that you should try to contact some agencies in your area and see if they can help. Here in AZ when Aspen was a baby and we were on our own I couldn't afford to pay my electric bill and one of the charities out here did a one time payment of my rent and utilities. Not to mention food stamps are there for people who cannot afford to get them and I think if you show cause they can even give you emergency food stamps before you are actually approved. I'd look into all the types of programs they have and see where you can go from there.
Geez Laura where on earth do you live that water is only $40/month?! I just got a water bill for (I kid you not) $350 for this month. Disgusting right. I thought we were going through a recession... aren't things supposed to be cheaper?!
Geez Laura where on earth do you live that water is only $40/month?! I just got a water bill for (I kid you not) $350 for this month. Disgusting right. I thought we were going through a recession... aren't things supposed to be cheaper?!
Ok, I am just curious how much your water bill is? Our is only like $40/month, so I am just wondering if water is super expensive where you are? And he gets disabled pay for sleep apnea and a personality disorder? I love where my tax dollars go.. I have sleep apnea and nobody gives a sh!t.. Anyway, you have been given some really great resources for temporary assistance. I hope they are able to help you guys get over this hump! Finances are such a huge stressor, and you definitely don't need that right now. In terms of your ex and his responsibility for support, can you call the VA, or someone is his branch of military and report him? I don't have any experience with this, but it seems like if the government controls his money, they would rather have him pay you, than go on any type of government assistance.. You know? Ugh, I hope it gets better soon,
I'm glad that DF has something lined up nearby, that's got to help some!
I understand what you're going through...we're having a really rough financial month too. We got hit with 2 huge bills this month; a large utility bill that's a result of us moving here in June and we didn't pay all the transfer fees right away but we HAVE to pay them this month, and it's time to pay our insurance deductible on our cars to renew...so we've got about $500 that I didn't budget for this month. Luckily Dh worked a lot of overtime last week so we've got it covered, but it's going to be tight for all the OTHER things we have to pay for...like baby wipes, diapers, lol....you know, the important stuff.
Hang in there, we're all broke at some point or another because...let's face it...children are money vaccuums and even the most well-established family is going to run into a brick wall sooner or later with cash...but you climb over and things settle down. just keep hope and faith!
I understand what you're going through...we're having a really rough financial month too. We got hit with 2 huge bills this month; a large utility bill that's a result of us moving here in June and we didn't pay all the transfer fees right away but we HAVE to pay them this month, and it's time to pay our insurance deductible on our cars to renew...so we've got about $500 that I didn't budget for this month. Luckily Dh worked a lot of overtime last week so we've got it covered, but it's going to be tight for all the OTHER things we have to pay for...like baby wipes, diapers, lol....you know, the important stuff.
Hang in there, we're all broke at some point or another because...let's face it...children are money vaccuums and even the most well-established family is going to run into a brick wall sooner or later with cash...but you climb over and things settle down. just keep hope and faith!
I wanted to update on this. Temp services called this afternoon, and DF starts a job Friday morning, working at another assembly plant thats a lot closer to home :) I'm happy about that.
Still trying to figure out how to pay everything for right now though.
Still trying to figure out how to pay everything for right now though.
sorry you are going through this right now:~( We are in the same boat. We had our gas disconnected over a month ago, backed up on our mortage and our other utilities:~( At least you got some help. What doesnt kill us only makes us stronger, right???
That's exactly how I feel. There is always someone with it worse than us. Luckily my husband and I both have jobs but we live in NJ and its so damn exspensive, I wish my rent was like yours lol
Thanks! We could use a ton of prayers. Life is rough...but it'll all work out. I have a wonderful man who is trying like hell to support the family, but it makes things hard when I can't work either. But....there are bumps in everyone's road....and this is just a small one compared to other people out there. I know there are people worse off than us, so I try not to fret to much about it.
I am so sorry that a lot of you are going through this. I thought that I had it bad but I don't, not as bad as you guys. From what I have read you are a strong person. You can and will make it through this. God bless you and I will keep you guys in my prayers.
Try not to stress too much, they'll turn around soon. You sound like you're just about at rock bottom, the only way you can go is up!
Thank you! With DF going to Temp services he could have a job as soon as next week! Which would be amazing. DF is still trying to get a hold of the landlord to see if he can use our security deposit for our rent this month, which will get us by until next month...hopefully.
I thought about trying to take out a personal loan to pay bills, but our credit is sh!t, and making payments on that loan would be difficult right now. I could still try, but I wont do it unless the landlord won't let us use the security deposit for rent.
The thing about Iowa..is if your water is turned off DHS is informed of the shut off, and they have the right to come take the kids...which has me stressed beyond belief. I just learned that at community action. It's like, if that's the case....why won't they help with water as well as electricity? I'll figure it out, hopefully tomorrow will be a better update. I have been calling churches to see if they could help out a little bit too. So hopefully things start to look up for us. And soon!
I thought about trying to take out a personal loan to pay bills, but our credit is sh!t, and making payments on that loan would be difficult right now. I could still try, but I wont do it unless the landlord won't let us use the security deposit for rent.
The thing about Iowa..is if your water is turned off DHS is informed of the shut off, and they have the right to come take the kids...which has me stressed beyond belief. I just learned that at community action. It's like, if that's the case....why won't they help with water as well as electricity? I'll figure it out, hopefully tomorrow will be a better update. I have been calling churches to see if they could help out a little bit too. So hopefully things start to look up for us. And soon!
I'm not in as bad a situation as you are right now, but DH and I had to take out a loan to cover this month and next month, and are taking out another loan in Oct, because we literally can't afford to pay all our bills, afford gas, food, diapers...NC is not the best state to be in with the military.
Anyways, I know you feel like you're up sh!t creek without a paddle right now, but it WILL GET BETTER! I was thinking the same thing you were not that long ago, and where there's a will there's a way, and I'm sure you have the will. *HUGS* It will get better!
Anyways, I know you feel like you're up sh!t creek without a paddle right now, but it WILL GET BETTER! I was thinking the same thing you were not that long ago, and where there's a will there's a way, and I'm sure you have the will. *HUGS* It will get better!
My ex doesn't work. He is 100% disabled through the VA (Army Veteran) and collects SSI Disability. The courts tried to do an income with-holding but due to it being disability they can't garnish it directly from the VA. My attorney can request his banking information(Which they have) and garnish his account, but knowing him....he will simply close the bank account and have the VA send his money in paper form.
He is $3300.00 in back child support, and even child support enforcement won't do anything. So it's frustrating. Hopefully the judge will find him in contempt. I am asking for visitation be at my discretion since he does not take them on his allotted time or pay his child support. So until he can step up and be a man, I want to be able to say when, where and how long he see's the boys.... and due to the history of abuse, we're asking he only get's supervised visitation, which he will have to pay for if he wants to see his kids. He is just refusing to pay his child support, because he is pissed off at me for not giving up and giving him what he wants.
He is $3300.00 in back child support, and even child support enforcement won't do anything. So it's frustrating. Hopefully the judge will find him in contempt. I am asking for visitation be at my discretion since he does not take them on his allotted time or pay his child support. So until he can step up and be a man, I want to be able to say when, where and how long he see's the boys.... and due to the history of abuse, we're asking he only get's supervised visitation, which he will have to pay for if he wants to see his kids. He is just refusing to pay his child support, because he is pissed off at me for not giving up and giving him what he wants.
I don't know about where you are, but here in Georgia you can ask the court to grant you an order that will allow you to take it to your ex's employer and they have to deduct the child support from his check BEFORE he even gets it and they send YOU a check directly for the support. I know some people don't know about that...here it's called an income deduction order.
Well...Community action helped pay some of my electricity bill. But they don't help for water bills...so I still have to find a way to pay that. DF went to the court house and was able to get a regular state ID and applied at Temp services...and should be hearing from them in a day or two, They have a lot of job openings in town that are paying decent money, so hopefully he can get one of those soon.
I was wondering, if I called my landlord, if he could take this months rent out of our security deposit, that way I can keep my SSI checks this month and get caught up on bills. I guess I can have DF call and ask.
Then, the next task is moving the rest of our junk out of storage, so I won't have to pay that bill this month. Then I can get caught up. So fingers crossed, that my landlord can help us out a bit.
I was wondering, if I called my landlord, if he could take this months rent out of our security deposit, that way I can keep my SSI checks this month and get caught up on bills. I guess I can have DF call and ask.
Then, the next task is moving the rest of our junk out of storage, so I won't have to pay that bill this month. Then I can get caught up. So fingers crossed, that my landlord can help us out a bit.
I forgot to mention the 286.00 a month per child that I get is from social security that the ex receives.
As far as the BC thing goes...the affidavit is what he signed for paternity, on top of a written paper from my attorney, which states that all of us know the ex is not the father and all of us know that DF is. Once that was signed, DF did the affidavit, and it was entered in for the divorce. If all else fails, I was told if the state warrants the paternity test, the state has to pay for it? If they pay for the paternity test, by all means we'll do it.
I just really HATE men right now. I know my financial stresses are not his issue anymore, but the child support would be super helpful right now. He just figures the child support is helping me and not the kids....it's like HELLO OUR kids need running water and electricity. I honestly can live without it for a while, but my babies need it, and he just doesn't look at it that way. He is thinking he is going to get custody of the boys, but we already dealt with that part of the divorce, and I was awarded custody because of his mental issues.
I'm supposed to be getting a little over 700.00 a month in child support, which would help out a ton. I'm also going to go over to Temp services to see if they can place me in a part time job, DF hates that idea as he doesn't feel I should be working while pregnant....but I have to make sacrifices to take care of my babies, and I'm more than willing to do that until DF can find work.
As far as the BC thing goes...the affidavit is what he signed for paternity, on top of a written paper from my attorney, which states that all of us know the ex is not the father and all of us know that DF is. Once that was signed, DF did the affidavit, and it was entered in for the divorce. If all else fails, I was told if the state warrants the paternity test, the state has to pay for it? If they pay for the paternity test, by all means we'll do it.
I just really HATE men right now. I know my financial stresses are not his issue anymore, but the child support would be super helpful right now. He just figures the child support is helping me and not the kids....it's like HELLO OUR kids need running water and electricity. I honestly can live without it for a while, but my babies need it, and he just doesn't look at it that way. He is thinking he is going to get custody of the boys, but we already dealt with that part of the divorce, and I was awarded custody because of his mental issues.
I'm supposed to be getting a little over 700.00 a month in child support, which would help out a ton. I'm also going to go over to Temp services to see if they can place me in a part time job, DF hates that idea as he doesn't feel I should be working while pregnant....but I have to make sacrifices to take care of my babies, and I'm more than willing to do that until DF can find work.
IF they will not allow you to put DF on the BC at this point. DO NOT PUT ANYONES name. After things settle down with your ex and DF can sign an affidavit of paternity to be added to the BC. Legally you can give your child any last name you want to.
When my oldest was born I gave her my GRANDFATHERS last name...not mine or her bio dads. I also did not put a father on the BC, just told them I didn't know who it was. When she was 7 my current DH signed the AOP and put his name on there and we changed her last name to ours.
When my oldest was born I gave her my GRANDFATHERS last name...not mine or her bio dads. I also did not put a father on the BC, just told them I didn't know who it was. When she was 7 my current DH signed the AOP and put his name on there and we changed her last name to ours.
I get 286.00 a month for my younger 2 children, but my Rent alone is 530.00 a month, so it only leaves me with enough money to put gas in the car for the month. Community housing or HUD I don't really need...besides the waiting list for something like that here is over a year.
I might go ahead and reapply for FIP, but if the ex ever decides to pay his child support, I won't see any of it as it will go back to the state, and I would be getting more child support than state aid. DF isn't scared of working or holding down a job, hell he is a work-a-holic. He has been trying desperately to find a job without being to picky.
The economy just *****.....I applied for title 19, which is like medicaid, but the issue with that, is that my ex will be considered the biological father until a paternity test is done, and thats BS. Myself, DF, and the ex have already signed a waiver dis-establishing the ex from paternity of Kora, the dude is a dead beat and a crappy father, so why in the hell would I want to have another kid with him. But the state says I have to pay for a paternity test to be done, and I don't want the ex having anything to do with Kora. I don't know if it's because i'm not legally divorced just yet, but it should all be done and over with by the end of this month, so hopefully if I am legally divorced by the time Kora is here, Mat(DF) can be considered by the state as biological father. I will be damned if the state does not allow me to put DF on her birth cert.
Uhg, I'm just stressed. I was able to pull myself out of my first financial strain. Now i'm praying to the heavens above, that I can do it again. We have food stamps, so that's not a big issue, but why buy groceries if I have no electricity to keep them in the fridge? lol. We'll see what can be done tomorrow. I busted my a$$ today to get stuff done, went to DHS got title 19, upped the foodies, got community actions number and directions. So we'll see.
I might go ahead and reapply for FIP, but if the ex ever decides to pay his child support, I won't see any of it as it will go back to the state, and I would be getting more child support than state aid. DF isn't scared of working or holding down a job, hell he is a work-a-holic. He has been trying desperately to find a job without being to picky.
The economy just *****.....I applied for title 19, which is like medicaid, but the issue with that, is that my ex will be considered the biological father until a paternity test is done, and thats BS. Myself, DF, and the ex have already signed a waiver dis-establishing the ex from paternity of Kora, the dude is a dead beat and a crappy father, so why in the hell would I want to have another kid with him. But the state says I have to pay for a paternity test to be done, and I don't want the ex having anything to do with Kora. I don't know if it's because i'm not legally divorced just yet, but it should all be done and over with by the end of this month, so hopefully if I am legally divorced by the time Kora is here, Mat(DF) can be considered by the state as biological father. I will be damned if the state does not allow me to put DF on her birth cert.
Uhg, I'm just stressed. I was able to pull myself out of my first financial strain. Now i'm praying to the heavens above, that I can do it again. We have food stamps, so that's not a big issue, but why buy groceries if I have no electricity to keep them in the fridge? lol. We'll see what can be done tomorrow. I busted my a$$ today to get stuff done, went to DHS got title 19, upped the foodies, got community actions number and directions. So we'll see.
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