Surrogacy??

[ftmom2beaug28]

Hi ladies, so since I was about 15 I've loved the idea of being a surrogate for someone. I am currently 27 weeks with my own child and I still love the idea. My family thinks I will feel differently after going thru child birth, they think I will be too attatched to a baby after carrying it and giving birth. But I think that going into surrogacy with the understanding that you are carrying it for someone else changes the dynamic and level of bonding with the baby. I think I will love a baby if I bring it into the world, but I feel that it will be a different love. And I will feel Im doing something great for baby and family. What are your thoughts on surrogacy? And have you known a surrogate or a family that has used a surrogate? what was the relationship dunamic between the surrogate and family?

[ftmom2beaug28]

@steph_2, that is so cool! im happy to hear these stories. Thank you for the responses ladies!

[Steph_2]

Yes the family is involved. She feel ok about the giving up process she is in contact with the family and sees them often. They actually have become a second family to her. I think the most important thing is being abke to feel comfortable withthe family.

[ftmom2beaug28]

@babyturnip, those commercials are so sad, its tragic. I definitely support adoption and believe its a great option for infertile couples but I also understand wanting a child that it yours biologically or wanting one from birth and knowings the health risks its been exposed too. Buf I feel the same way you do about surrogate mothers and the more I think abouf it the more excited I am. I really feel like it is something I am meant to do :)

[ftmom2beaug28]

@ashdub07, you definitely should be proud of her :) thats a beautiful thing she is doing for your sister and in the long run, your whole family.
@steph_2, how has your friend felt about the bonding process then giving the child to ths family? Does it make it easier knowing thats the plan the whole time? is the family involved the whole pregnancy?

[BabyTurnip]

I think surrogate mother are angels sent from up above for all those wonderful people who are unable to have kids. Personnaly i was meat to have a big family and not being able to have kids would slowly kill me. I would want someone to be a surrogate mother for me if i was in that situation. Reverse the situation and although ive neber thought of it i think i would be willing to do it for my sisters or someone close that i love. I probably would need to seek help to over come the feeling of abandonment but i would do it. Its s gift, i think, that is meet to be shared with those who are in need. Then again if it ever came down to me not being able to carry children after my son is born i would adopt first. I still want to adopt either africain kids or chinese kids. Its been my resolution since im like six yrs old! I cry everytime i see those sad commercisl of starving africain kids

[Steph_2]

I have a friend who is 7 weeks with her second surrogacy for the same family. She loves being able to help a family that can not have children.

[Ashdub07]

Well my lil sis said that our DNA is basically the same and if she pretends that she donated her egg to science instead of our sister she won't get attached ;) i just love her so much for being so generous and level headed. But she said she doesn't want the baby to know its biologically hers because that will make it harder on all of them down the line which is understandable to need that detachment to be able to say that's my niece or nephew not my child. I couldn't do it but she's a beautiful creature:)

[ftmom2beaug28]

thank you ashdub07 :)

[ftmom2beaug28]

@Ashdub, that is an amazinh thing for your sister to do. Ive also been asked to considee having a baby for a family member that cannot have a child on their on. I think that would definitely make it a lot easier for that baby to be joining a part of your family. Although, id have a hard time donating my egg.

@laurenmh, has your friend ever said whether she thinks it makes it easier or harder by receiving pictures every month? That is an aspect of the situation Im really unsure of, on one hand i'd love to see the child growing and being in a happy home but on the other hand, I feel like it might make it hard to be involved from a distance and not want more. Has she said that she feels any different in the situation involving her own child versus a surrogacy situation? she sounds like a very strong women with a big heart, Im happy she has  good friend to support her :)

[Ashdub07]

Good luck

[ftmom2beaug28]

Thats cool, I would definitely utilize available counseling because I don't deny its probably more difficult then I know. But to me, it seems like the end result is amazing and I would feel so great to give someone a child that really wants one. I also realize I should go thru child birth before Im decide how it will make me feel. I'm crossin my fingers that I make it thru this pregnancy healthy so I can serious consider it. My husband wants to do it also. The only part he doesnt like is the no sex until the confirmed pregnancy lol.

[LaurenMH]

I have a friend in Colorado that did it she's still in contact with the family they send her pics and invited to birthdays and stuff like that. You really have to have a strong heart to do it. Shes a surrogate and she gave her first child up for adoption cuz she was a junior in hs. And wanted to be sure her baby got everything he wanted and needed her family wasn't going to help her at all. The family that took him couldn't have kids of their own. She also sees him and gets pics every month. She's a strong women but its broken her down a few times. If you can handle it id say go for it cuz it is a beautiful thing but it's not easy. It was hard for me just watching and helping her through it all.

[Ashdub07]

My little sister is going to donate 3 eggs to my older sis and bro in law for insemination and then carry the baby for them because my older sis had a complete hysterectomy at age 21. My little sis is 22 with a 3 yr old baby and totally willing to do this I think it's honorable and selfless . I admire her for it

[mamaof4410]

I have thought about it to. I love being pregnant and its helping someone with the most amazing gift. But my husband said the same thing. He said he knows I would get attached to the baby and he wouldn't want to see me have to hand the baby over. I think if you chose to do it they help with like counseling to prepare you for the end.