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Avatar universal

How do i get through this

I got pregnant back in June. I was 24 weeks pregnant when I deliverd my son. I was told he had massive hemmraging in the brain. I was told that it would be best to take him off life support. My husband and I held our son as he took his last breath and had his last heart beat. My husband and I are about to be an Aunt and Uncle again and it is bothering us more then ever. We want to be happy but We are having a very hard time with this. can someone recommend a very good support group i the area. I think we need some out side help.
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Avatar universal
You are not alone...I just had my son in Dec. and I was almost 24 weeks.  We had to turn off the machines as well and I didn't get to hold him the whole time until his last breath b/c I passed out and got wheeled out of the room.  I know exactly how you feel about watching someone else get their baby.  Its just not fair.  Those of us who want our babies so bad and have them taken from us so soon.  About a therapist, I went to my regular Dr. and he recommended a few therapists, so I think your dr. would be able to help  you with that.  Are you and your husband thinking about trying again?  My husband doesn't want to try again b/c I've lost 3 before our last.  And now we're thinking about doing foster care for infants, b/c I need my baby fix.  I hope you guys get some help and I hope you will feel better soon.  Just know that you are not alone, for some reason that thought helps me.  
Helpful - 0
414635 tn?1272217693
I feel for you. I have just lost my baby due to a gentic disorder and 2 of my best friends plus another coworker are due within a week of my due date....that is gonna be hard to deal with
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Avatar universal
I am SO sorry for your loss. My heart really feels so sad and heavy for you. I was in a situation where I lost a baby but my SIL had hers (we were due at the same time) and it was hard for me to hear about her finding out the gender, her shower, picking out names, etc. I was a real big mess.

You are still grieving and should not be expected to be jumping for joy.

One place you can find support is to ask area hospitals if they have support groups for Infant Loss. That is the best place to start. Good luck to you, sweetie!
Helpful - 0
297280 tn?1226706405
My m/c was in Sept. 2004.  I waited several months before ttc because I didn't feel like going through that again.  My cycles are kind of irregular so I didn't get pregnant again until this past Sept.  We weren't specifically "trying", just not preventing.  I am now 23 weeks and just starting to relax and feel like things will be okay this time.  Now that I am pregnant, I am glad I let some time pass so I could deal with the emotions and grief and I feel like that worked out the best for me.  But some people are ready to try again really soon.
Helpful - 0
416612 tn?1202773948
When did you have your DNC? When are you going to start trying again?
Helpful - 0
416612 tn?1202773948
Oh, Sweetheart.....I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am. That must have been so, so awful for you and your family.

After my miscarriage I went into a deep depression for a couple of weeks, I can't imagine holding the baby in my arms......my heart and prayers go out to you in every way.

Losing a child is the worst, worst thing in the world. I am so sorry.

In terms of finding support groups you can goole the word support group and your zip code and that should be a start.

You are in my prayers....I am so sorry.....
Helpful - 0
297280 tn?1226706405
When I had my m/c my sister-in-law was also pregnant and also a couple at church.  We were all due within a month of each other.  The same recovery room I was in when I had my d&c is where we had to visit my SIL after the birth of their baby.  I also helped throw her shower.  Looking back, I'm glad I participated even though it felt like it would kill me.  Baby showers, etc., were difficult for me for a long time.  But you finally pull through.  God was my strong hold.  I am so sorry you have gone through this and I can't imagine how you feel.  
These are just some suggestions- Our local newspaper runs a section on Sunday that lists all the local support groups, help agencies, etc.  That might be a place you could look.  Also, your OB office or local hospital might have names of support groups in the area.  A church nearby might offer grief counselling.  The library or newspaper offices might have info as well.  I wish you and your husband the best.  You will make it through this.
Helpful - 0
290018 tn?1240365868
I can only imagine how you must be feeling.  When I was 11 weeks pregnant I had a miscarriage and while I was having my d&c my husbands brother and his wife decided to announce they were pregnant.  Their baby is due in April and we don't really even feel like being apart of it.  Your experience is so much more difficult than mine...I don't know of any support groups but I will be praying for you and your situation.  I pray that God will give you a peace that surpasses all understanding.  
Helpful - 0
202436 tn?1326474333
We need to know where you are before we could recommend anything in your area .
Helpful - 0
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