So upset with DH

[DollChina]

DH seems to think he should be able to go out with his buddy once a week.  I don't think he should with a 19 month old and I am 8 months pregnant.  He went 2 weeks in a row this month and I didn't want thim to go last night because I was so tired from my out of town meeting and I was achy everywhere.  Of course, we had a fight.  He thinks I am trying to control his every move.  But what man goes out weekly when their wife is 8 months pregnant?  He said he needs some space sometime and I was like then be a single guy.  I am sorry once you are a parent, you rarely have that luxury.  I don't mind him going every once in a while but not weekly.  I have plan to go out to dinner with a firend of mine tonight bcause it's her birthday and I think that's why he wanted to go out last night because I get too.  I think it's a bunch of BS.  I don't go out weekly but maybe once a month.  I don't know if it's my hormones or what but I don't seem to be ablt to reason with him.  I think he is a BIG A HOLE

[DollChina]

I just sent him a message to tell him we need to compromise becuase this is not going to work if this continues.  

[LauraB78]

Have you guys ever tried to schedule a no-matter how tired or crappy of a day I have had "date" night? That might be a good compromise to try.. Like every Tuesday at 5:30 your Mom can come sit and you and DH can have a few hours to go on a date, whether it is to the movies, dinner, a walk, to Barnes and Noble to have a drink and read together.. Anything.. Even if your Mom just watched the 19 month old and you and DH hang out at home in a different room with the door closed for privacy?? Do you think he would be willing to do that? Then maybe Thursdays (or every other.. it has to work for YOU TWO.. Not me) he can go out w/ his friends?

[Marcus's Mommy]

I think it is too often. I'm married and have a 3 year old, 13 month old and I'm 22 weeks pregnant. My husband and I never go out. We can't find the time.  He works 13 hours days and I work and weekends are family time and chores around the house.  He does baths and gets weekend night calls so it gives me a break. We are not the type to be hanging off each other either. Very independant but individual night outs are far and few between. Reality is we have a young family now, we need time with them.  Our time will come when they are older.

[Michele, Katy, TX]

Well said.  That's how we are also.

[BTS1022]

Welcome to a mans world! Im not trying to sound rude or abnoxious, I just want to state that these girls are 100% correct. Men don't ALWAYS want to be around us period. They need a mental relief of always having to think, men hate to think, they just aren't all that good at it lol. His time with his friends gives him that mental relief, he can go and do *MAN* things that maybe you wouldnt 100% approve of. My hubby goes out once a week with his buddies, and 2 times a month I go with him, but they always make sure I don't know they aren't at the strip club lol, I wasnt born yesturday lol.

Men are not emotional people at all, infact emotions aren't even a learned thing for men, as they can very rarely learn anything on their own lol, Im not trying to bash all men, My hubby is wonderful but he is a man lol.

Your hubby deserves time with his friends, time alone, and time with his family. If you guys don't have your own personal space away from eachother you will literally have a meltdown, or in other words hubby may have a meltdown. They just need a time where they can go out, grab a beer, maybe go to a strip club or a bar, and BS together about stupid man stuff, like who can drink the coldest beer without getting a brain freeze.

Point is, have him make a schedule on paper of the days he plans on going out, work around those days, if he wants to go out on saturdays, then you and him can have dates on fridays or sundays. See if maybe once or twice a month you can go with him, make your own play dates. He goes out saturdays, you go out fridays, and you have family nights on sundays. There is a way to make everyone happy in this situation, you just have to find the strength to do it. And no matter what us women say, you will do as you want and feel which is perfectly fine, but seriously choose your battles well, once you start nit picking on every little thing hubby wants to do, the relationship can become unbalanced.

[JoyRenee]

Men are very different from women. A woman can pick up the phone, call a girlfriend and talk and talk and talk all day long. But a man has to physically remove himself and hang out with other men (they don't necessarily talk about their stresses or what is bothering them... it's just a reprieve).

My husband hangs out once a week with his brothers or a friend for a specific period of time. Sometimes it is during the day (when he'd normally be at work).

Men need their space. That is just how they are hard-wired. It is not a personal attack or vendetta against you at all! In fact, having him get some "guy-time" in will help to bond you guys and strengthen your marriage. Give him a little freedom (there can be restrictions if you have a problem with alcohol or nudity or whatever!) so he doesn't feel trapped.

All of what I'm saying is from my hubby's lips to your eyes. Men need space. If you don't give it to them you're in for a long, difficult ride. But you DEFINITELY need a compromise. Just like he needs time with his friends, YOU NEED TIME WITH YOURS! Let him know that if he's going to be able to go out every so often, then he's got to let you out every so often to shop, do your hair, just read and finish a book, whatever! You guys have to have time away from one another, to just have a break, for a change of scenery, etc.

Good luck!!! You guys will work it out and I can't wait to hear an update!