grrrrrrr

[evthing4reason]

There was a post on the womens health forum by a 17 year old wondering why she could get pregnant after having sex with her boyfriend 9 times and people actually responded with advice and wish her "good luck" on getting pregnant.
It made me soooooooooooo mad. Babies do not need to be having babies. What is this world coming to?

[JoyRenee]

Tracy, not all of us believe that teen moms are BAD mothers. It's one thing to TRY to conceive as a young teen and quite another to fall pregnant on "accident" or from lack of knowledge in fertility. They just don't teach this stuff in school and parents aren't always hands-on in this area.

All of that to say, while I wasn't a young teen mom, I did get pregnant at 19. And yes, I'm an AWESOME mom! I have my moments where I want to pull my hair out and lock myself in my room but I also do everything in the best interest of my children.

Age does not make one a bad or good mother. It is what the person is made up of that makes them great or evil. So no one is putting teen moms in a box and labeling them all bad. Don't get that impression.

[debgunn23]

Yeah alot of girls dont know what they are getting into. But I wanted a family since i was 16. Im a family girl and always was. Of course i waited until I got married with my b/f of 4 years and now im almost 3 months pregnant. Im 23 and he's 25. We are as happy as can be. Both are almost finished with college. Hes in the navy. But just because a girl is 16 or 17 doesnt mean she wont be a good mom and shouldnt have kids. If i were 16 again i think i would be a wonderful mom and i would still finish school, with some help. Finacially it is very hard at the age.   I gues it goes both ways for me. Most kids now are so immature.

[abbieball]

Just to let you know those girls didn't make a packed to GET pregnant they made a packed when they all found out they WERE pregnant that they would help out each other even if the fathers were or weren't going to. they figured if they were in the situation and didn't believe in abortion then they should help out each other and work with it. so that is why they are hanging out together and doing it together more as a family unit would pull together not as ohhh lets do this for fun.

[sweetangel7]

I'm just curious if you could share how you got your own house and were able to buy everything you needed with your own money.  It seems like a hardship to have a child at 16...did you finish school or did you go to work.  I have my Master's degree and a good job, and at the end of the day when I've paid my taxes, retirement, and health insurance the money I take home worries me and makes me wonder if I'll be able to truly afford a baby!  I'd be really interested in any advice you have because you seemed to do it all, with TWO babies at such a young age...with ALL of YOUR own money!  I am married, I have a husband who works, I have a house with taxes and property insurance, two paid off cars...BUT I do think about diapers, formula, daycare etc.

[Tracy21]

im 1 of the teen girls you talkin bout am 21 now but i feel pregnant at 15 and had my son a month after i turned 16. and i am a very good mum i have my own house my own money everything my son needed i bought with my own money i didnt need to ask mommy and daddy for nothing even till this day i dont need to ask for anything and guess what i have done everything on my own since i was 16 and yes my partner left me and he still sees his son but i have raised my son on my own i never get nights out because my son comes first and never passed him about to everyone to look after i dont do drugs i dont drink but i smoke thats it. i know alot of stupid wee lassies should'nt get pregnant but what use want the parents to do tie them to a chair till there 30 sorry but doesn't work like that these girls will do whatever they like when the like and there parents will just think there out with friends when really they have there knickers round there ankles. and by the time the parents find out it to late there daughter is pregnant.
To those parents that had kids young aslong as your doing a good job f*** everyone just keep doing a good job and prove people out there that some young people can raise there kids. i think people that put young parents down should walk a day in our shoes and see the look we get 4 pushing a pram and people whispering behind your back about how stupid we are for gettin pregnant and then come on here a read some people comments about young parents being bad mother a 30 or 40 year old parent can be just as bad a s a young parent.
I dont agree that girls so young should try for kids but who are we to stop them we can give advice and move on.
sorry to everyone if i sound a bit p***** off but i hate people saying young parents are s**** mums im a good mum my son is now 5 and a half yrs old and my daughter is 18 months and im now 9 weeks pregnant and no matter what anyone says i will still keep proving people wrong and keepbeing a good mum and i hope all the young parents that come on here and read this just remember no one is a perfect parents even the OLD ones so keep doing a good job with your kids and as of the girls who are a little daft and think they can be parents just make sure you know what your gettin your self into i child is hard work and alot of your time is taken up by a child so wont have time to party with friends so make your decision but make sure its the right one.

[JoyRenee]

I PMed you themrsb what I meant by "maturity doesn't matter". Hope it helps clarify that a teenager, no matter how mature they think they are, should not be asking questions on how to conceive.

[Latrice414]

Not to add, i had my first child at 19, i was 5 months preggo when i broke up with his father. Actually, having my son is what made me the woman i am today because as a teen i didnt have a care in the world and was going down the wrong path. Maybe that was gods way of saying if you keep going at the speed your going you wont see 20yrs of age, again, everything happens for a reason. Even though me and my son father is not 2gether, he is active in his life.

[Latrice414]

Well this is what i think, just think, not fact but think. I do beleive history repeats its self. My grandparents got married at 14 and 16, had 10 kids and are still together.

There are actually grown women on this forum who get preggo by there BF and are no longer with there BF.

Nothing in life is garenteed, including marriages. This world is not perfect and its far from it.

I beleive we was all put here on this earth for a reason, and if it is gods plan to have a 16yr 17yr etc to me a teen mom, its a reason he planned it that way.

I thought FORUM was for support, i dont think you should judge the next person on why they are trying to do something, why stress yourself out on someone else, if anything, give some advice, shed some light on the teen, ask why they want to get preggo, see where there head is at, then you have done your job. But in the end, that teen is going to do what they want, they may have heard your advice and change there minds. Again we are all here on this earth for a reason.

I had a m/c in june and it was my first m/c and i had no one to turn to except my mom, but she had her own issues, i prayed to god for guidance because i thought i was going to loose it, and i needed someone to talk to. After a week of crying i got up and got on pc and was looking up m/c again and for some reason this forum popped up. And it has helped me a lot and gave me a chance to give advice or share my story with other women.

We should not judge but try to understand.

[jesslee83]

ok i just read that post....omfg!!! THAT is so DISGUSTING!!!

ugh, after we BD, i HAVE to take a bth or shower....idk, it's not the "stuff" that bugs me, it's the fact i can FEEL it lol...i cannot IMAGINE who the * would want to put a USED condom(wether it was their partners or not), inside,,,,,EEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW.....

oh and i think i know what post OP is talking about.....i've replied a FEW times to her posts...omg, it makes you wanna reach our and touch someone, like at&t....only with a little more force than a $1K long distance bill!!!!!

actually, after i posted to it, i noticed she hasn't came back....hummmm

[themrsb]

Yes, teen mothers can be good mothers. But it is never a good idea for a teen to try and get pregnant. And for joyrenee, "And the issue of maturity doesn't matter", are you kidding me? It is the most important thing. You teens have so much to learn and so much growing up to do. I know you do not feel that way, thats why your still a teen. You have no idea how life changes.  Boys you think are your world and are your life will possibly be nothing to you a year from now, just a distant memory. And Im not saying that teens cant be good mothers but once again, you should never be a teen and plan a pregnancy.

[mami1323]

There is something wrong with the youth in today's society.  Why would you want to start your young life this way.  Yes, teen moms can be great moms.  We've seen it here with Kim and KStarr and many others.  But you will even see these young moms going through depression and stress just like us 30 year old parents.  The only difference is at their age they should have the freedom to go out with friends and finish school and experience going on vacation with girlfriends.  By my age, I've done all of it and still miss just going out to dinner without a 7 month old throwing a tantrum and grabbing things off the table.  I haven't seen a movie in god knows how long.  I enjoy my son and would never ever give up being a parent but I thank goodness I waited because I would of missed out on a lot of experiences in my life.  Some girls want to be young parents and more power to you, I'm sure you are great moms but it's rough.  Some stay with the father but most don't.  

[heatherlynn22]

i saw that....and all i have to say is omg. WHY would someone try to do that to another person? some people are really messed up...

[luv2bmommy]

however old she is, one things for sure- shes sick

[Kim1989]

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/show/553006

this post makes me sick! this is an example of a girl trying to get pregnant. i dont know how old she is but she sure sounds young and very immature!

[LauraB78]

I am still going to stick with what I said before..


I am 30 and freaking out about how I am going to handle being a single Mother... I know some teenage Mothers turn out to be good ones, but I think that women should wait until they have more life experience before they start procreating.. Just my opinion.. I would never have wanted a child when I wasn't even old enough to vote.. Just seems wrong to me.

[JoyRenee]

babyscience, very well put! I agree that teen moms CAN be great moms... but they put themselves in a position they shouldn't be in. Yeah, there was a time and age where 14 year olds were married off to old men and started bearing children. But we live in a different culture and these girls are not doing this to "settle down". They're looking for unconditional love in the wrong places.

And the issue of maturity doesn't matter. What it comes down to is 1). Can you CARE for this child? and 2). Do you have the financial capabilities to pay the bills and buy diapers without relying on Mommy and Daddy?

[babyscience]

First I would like to say, I think teen moms can be great moms...it is really hard and it will force their life in a different direction, if they are able to get past all that I think that is great!  However, for teens to TRY to get pregnant seems crazy to me.  MJ_Mommy_Manda hit on a good point.  That when we were all that age we thought we were all grown up and knew everything.  Our parents didnt know what was right for us....we did!  It wasnt until I was 25 that I could say I was fully independent, and ready to raise a child if I had an "accident"...still in no position to ttc.  I went to college until I was 21....IMO I was still a kid!  I got a career soon after that....you quickly realize you are still a kid when you work side by side with people who have been at the company for 20 years (almost as long as you have been alive)!  At 25, I finally learned who I was as a person!  So for someone to ttc, before they know who they are seems crazy to me.  I understand everyones time line is different, based on life experiences...but I still think anything under 21 is young!

[luv2bmommy]

lol thats funny, i just turned 22 and i dont feel young at all! ill probably be singing a different tune when i turn 50

[Kim1989]

there was a post....AWHILE ago (i dont remember what fourm, maybe maternal) but the girl said something like "how do i get pregnant without the guy knowing? is there anyway i cant put a hole in the condom without him knowing?" yeah she was 15 too!

[chitten]

Children shouldnt be having children. Period.

I'l be 21 when LO is born in July and i still feel im too young.

These days young girls see having babies as some kind of game whereby they can get a house and sponge benefits off the government.

Children need love, security, support. A 15/16/17 year old is NOT (no matter how much they argue) gonna be in the best position to be able to offer a child everything they need which is why we keep having the same problems over and over again. Children have children who in turn have children and its soon seen to be the "norm" in society.

If a young girl is unexpectedly pregnant and needs advice or support then we should give it to her but to support someone at such a young age who is actively trying to concieve is a joke.

[mj_mommy_manda]

luv2bmommy- I think that was really well put.  And it also states how I feel about the teen mom thing.  Also.. Im not saying its right to TRY to get pregnant that young.. But when you start becomming a teenager.. nonetheless a teenage girl, alot of people think they know what is best for themselves.  I know I did and that all ended up changing.  The first time I got pregnant I was 16.  It was unplanned but I was going to keep the baby because I was "In love" and my boyfriend seemed excited.  Now 3 years later I am still "with" the same guy but we also have issues that we need to work out before this baby comes into the picture.  you hear the saying "Everything happens for a reason" and after being through what I have been through I am FINALLY starting to realize that that statement is always right.  You might not know why now but one day you will.. And carissarae and evthing4reason: I dont think you are wrong for thinking its wrong for a 17 year old to want to get pregnant, because it is wrong.  but like I said alot of the time once teenagers become that age they think they know what is best for them and no one else does.. That is most likely the reason she is doing it and saying it.  

[luv2bmommy]

just a quick dash of input thats really off topic and probably doesnt even matter, but fathers can leave no matter what the situation. i just wonder if every single woman with children is totally prepared to raise her children by herself if the man suddenly cuts out. i really respect everyones opinion of teen parenting, to each his own, there are some aspects of it that cant be understood if you havent lived it. but not every woman has a career in place before she and her husband decide to start a family. i dont, im steadily working at it but for right now my main interest is my family and we are all very content about that. there are some really great teen mothers out there, what percentage i dont know. because i dont know everyone. and same goes for older mommys. some good, some bad. men dont have an "im gonna leave you and our family" expiration date. so us mothers do what we can but some of us have more done than others. i dont think my babies mind the fact that i dont have a degree in anything yet. i would but they dont offer that sort of thing to SAHM's :)

[evthing4reason]

The young girl was wondering if there was something wrong with her that she couldn't get pregnant, she had sex 9 times with her boyfriend. So she was trying to get pregnant. That's what made me mad about people saying good luck
I know that "acccidents" happen, and although I advocate adoption, a teen mom can be brilliant, but its not the best situation for anybody, child or mother.

[carissarae]

i had my daughter when i was 16. i think when the young girls come here they are looking for support and help that they might not get from their family. theerefore, i dont see what the big deal of saying good luck--we all need it, no matter what the age-- id say good luck to a 16 yr old or a 26 year old BUT only if they WERE PREGNANT, not to a 16 year old TRYING to get pregnant, cause it is hard to be a mama that early and my advice would be to wait. but if she already is pregnant then say good luck she will need it :)