Sad & feeling helpless & alone

[ProudMommie21]

Today me & my bf told my parents we're preg. It went fine but they asked him & I what we're going to do next. So he said we're just gonna get a place & raise or kids & other nice things.

But when he left he text me that he thinks we should really consider adoption. But I can't give the baby away now I'm alil attached. I told him I know hes not ready for what he told my parents & if he doesn't want him just sign ur rights over.

He hasn't answered.

I'm so sad over this. He seems not to want to try.

What do u think?

[rmmoye]

I take it your 1st one is with someone else. does he have hsi other 2? I am guessing he is scared. U are old enough u know what u want so i would keep the baby. He is old enough  he should step up to the pate. If not then i would just let him give u some child support and go do his own thing. I am proud of u for standing your ground.

[ProudMommie21]

Thank you for that much needed advice we do have a problem with texting out our arguments & important discussions. Told him I'm keeping him & he doesn't agree but says he not mad at me & will support me.

[MamaBear0612]

Ask him WHY he wants to consider adoption, you might be able to get him to talk about some of his fears then. I do think his reaction is very likely from fear, guys sometimes experience pregnancy very differently than we do. He's a young guy and he's got two kids (and he's aware you have one and are young too) and it's likely that in his mind all he's seeing is the responsibility, financial and otherwise, that a new child will bring. The baby is inside us so we connect with her now, but to him, he's not really able to until she's here for him to see and hold. I think if he's good with his other children, it's likely he'll come around, but you also need to ask yourself if you could do it alone if you need to.

It is important you make a decision though, before y'all get into this conversation again. If you can't do it, you can't do it and he'll have to accept that one way or the other, but if you think adoption is a possibility, you do need to have that discussion as well. Just try not to put words and emotions into his mouth...he never said any of what you responded in his text message, you said that, but now that you said it it's probably rolling around in his head, making things more complicated.  One more thing, don't have a serious conversation if you can help it over text, it just stands in the way of real communication and it's too easy for one person to just stop responding, like he did. When you have other body language cues, it's easier to read somebody, to connect, to push if you need to, and to clear up misunderstandings. If my ex and I had our conversations about the baby over text, we'd probably hate each other by now; as it is, we're becoming pretty good friends. So ask him to meet with you like grown folks do to discuss it, you guys are certainly dealing with grown folks' issues and will be for a long time.

[ProudMommie21]

Yea but I'm 21 hes 25. He has 2 kids I have one. We told my parents because I live with them but will be moving soon.

[Mommy2bee312]

Im guessing yall are going to be teen parents jst like me as well & with that being said it has alot to do with his actions latley. Its alot of stress on the father as well especially being young they get cold feet with the thought of having to work & bringing a new life into this world. I think you should keep your baby & lett him know it, and hopefully he will come around for the two of you

[ProudMommie21]

I think it's me. He's feeling alil pressure from my fam they want us to move together before the baby comes so thats adding on to his stress..


Yea I think he might surprise me but with him going from yea lets do it to idk know lets choose adoption & back again is making me go through emotional ups & downs. & idk how to get him to understand that we need to make a choice & stand by it I cant keep crying every other day because he's not sure or scared.

[Confuzed4patient]

At first everything is scary and confuzing.but later on after your child is born his feelingz may change and realy want to be there for your baby.guyz get nervous to and as much as u feel he needs to make a decision right away juz give him time.he really might suprise you.

[Confuzed4patient]

At first everything is scary and confuzing.but later on after your child is born his feelingz may change and realy want to be there for your baby.guyz get nervous to and as much as u feel he needs to make a decision right away juz give him time.he really might suprise you.

[hansen20]

i think you should keep your baby if hes going to be there or not.being a mom is the best feeling ever. i was 16 when i first got pregnant and i could never give up my baby for adoption because it would just be to hard. it really sounds like he dont want to be in the babies life really, to me thats what it kinda sounds like. i was 18 when i had my 2nd child and my daughters dad told me that i should get an abortion and i didnt and so i stopped talking to him but now my daughter will be 18 months old and i saw her dad in public and all the sudden he wants to see her and i told him no because he didnt want to be there in the first place. i really think you might regret very much putting your child up for adoption even if your attached now to your baby. my suggestion is keep your baby and dont listen to him. to be honest i think that if a guy does not want to be in his babies life then yes he should sign his rights away even my babies dad should too.