am I wrong?

[RayJackson]

my fiance literally hates my parents for several reasons. they have repeatedly kicked me out, called me names, etc. they have even called the cops on my fiance, and even moved across country to get away from me but moved back. but since finding out I'm pregnant they have been extremely supportive and have made all efforts to change. but my fiance doesn't see it this way. he absolutely hates them and tells me everyday how he regrets being tied into them through me and our unborn child. we got into an argument about them, him saying they will completely hate the baby and me soon and change and I got a little defensive because it's our baby he's talking about. they love the baby I have no doubt about this regardless of how they treated me. I said he doesn't know what he's talking about so he got all pissed off and took me home and pretty much said I'm stupid for believing them and etc. I just don't know what to do. am I wrong? I just,want everyone to get along for the babys sake

[MomnaBree97]

I still let my mom see her of course because she loves her but I think it's just her and we just get along for the sake of her having a relationship with her granddaughter.  But we nothing get along with his mom She's great! I mean She's made mistakes to and I don't after with everything she's done but that's before I entered the family. He's right but wrong because of the way he let's his grandmother treat you and talk. he needs to make her show you respect! My grandma's the same way all she does is talk **** NOTHING .that comes from her mouth is peace or a regular convinced. It's all ******** and drama! So I gergo into it with her every time she starts up and tell her she needs to learn respect. Just because She's older doesn't mean she automatically gets it! And he does the same with his dad who's nothing but rude to me. So it S's not just him it's both of you who can do things to doctor the problem

[MomnaBree97]

I have the same situation my boyfriend didn't like my parents whatsoever! They've been nothing but rude and disrespectful to both of us in the past even when I was pregnant. I left because I was tired of coming in second to my step dad! Especially when he's nothing but a jerk and abusive.  Anyway ever since I moved out (I was 15) She's been trying to make it up to me but with money. As in buying things for new and my baby. But they still talked a lot of crap about my boyfriend. He always tells me don't treat her i know She's your mom but I se how she is. And She's my MOM so of course I trusted her again and got comfortable and then she screwed me over out of no where. It's happened a couple times to the point where I finally told him heard right and I'm gonna listen next time he says don't trust her .
So I say if he truly believes shes bad and is telling you to listen to him because he wants to protect you then h e'er s probably right. if it's just out of spite because he just doesn't like her then give her the benefit of the doubt. It sounds more like he's right tho. I'm only saying this because I have the exact same situation and I learned by lesson

[RayJackson]

ultimately I feel like he is just holding grudges because of them calling the cops on him before. now I agree with him that it was bs and should have never happened, and the situation of  why cops were called was ridiculous but we are about to be parents and need to learn to grow up and forgive and let go of some things. I can't control what they do or have done, but I just want everyone to get along or at least pretend to for our child. I don't want it to think my parents are awful and resent them when they only love it and want  to be in its life. I don't want my fiance to make it think that!

[Nayy_]

Smh my husband can be the same way sometimes

[debbiesbump]

He sound a bit controlling. Your parents prob make mistakes and have been hard on you maybe becus of him i have no idea why but parents are always right. But now that he sees they are making an effort he hates the fact you have their suppourt he sounds a bit jealous. Personal expirance i used to tell my ex my parents this and my parents that and when they became supportive he tried to turn me against them saying they dont love you blah blah.... Long story short he was jealous inow had more support n not just him i wouldlsten to your parents advise.

[bsconcerned]

The situation is different I was just saying I understand where he is coming from and how he may be looking at it. It's a tough situation but hard to be mad at him when he is really looking out for you, the baby as well as himself. It's ultimately up to you but I also think it's something for you both to discuss. Maybe make a pros and cons list. Each of you can then compare. Or tell him that you feel they deserve the chance but will never forget what happened and therefore will tread lightly and nd assure him always do what's in the best interest of your child and that you feel giving them a chance is what you feel is best.

[RayJackson]

thank u for ur support its  comforting to knowi am not overreacting or insane for thinking this way. thank u ladies

[RayJackson]

sure in ur situation screw his parents but I clearly  don't have the same situation as u. I obviously know I am not wrong, I was just looking for someone else to tell me that so I can stop beating myself up over this. my fiance is in the wrong, he has good intentionsbut is wrong. I will never deny his intentions, but what  he is doing is messed up and he has no right to make me hate myself for parents I didn't chose. he has no right.

[My2LoveBugs]

He should not respond to you in that way, those are your parents . & if you feelvlike you should forgive them then he should 100% stand behind you & support you on that. He wants you to hold a grudge against your parents & not move on from the past! He needs to grow up & quit letting the devil destroy him! Good luck honey(:

[RayJackson]

until they are un supportive I don't feel like they should always have to live with their mistakes. and I don't feel like I should be punished because of it. there is no reason my child shouldn't have a relationship with its grandparents when they just want to be apart of its life. his mother isn't  a f u cking saint either, and quite frankly she has been very rude to me before and I do not agree with half the **** she says or does but I won't deny my child it's grandma because of it! she's even said "get the **** and stay out" before, told my mother my personal secrets, and even said I'm drama and her son deserves better. she's a very disrespectful women but claims it's because she loves her son. **** that it's not fair his mom can do  whatever the **** she wants but mine can't make any mistakes! and as  soon as they make a mistake I'm punished for it and even threatened to  be left because he doesn't want anything to do with them. so suddenly our past an future means nothing because of parents I didn't chose! it's not fair. not for one second will I believe otherwise!

[wife_and_mama2014]

Your situation is not the same as hers, though. Her parents realize what they did and are trying to fix it. How do you know they're going to treat her child terribly...? Or her for that matter. Idk, I believe in forgiveness. If they were beating her up and being insane that'd be another story. I don't see why she shouldn't give them a second chance.

[bsconcerned]

Sorry but I kind of agree with him on this one. One I don't think it's fair to you that they treated you like that, then all of a sudden want to care because your having a baby. And two if they treated you like that in the past not only would I be concerned of that happening again, but of your child growing again relationship with them then having to see them treat you bad or even treat your child like that when  he/she gets older. My fiance has always been very very close with his grandparents,  they are not good people but we're always good to him because he was their first born grandchild. However they have screwed him over in some ways but he has always let it slide. Anyway his grandmother hates women, all women esp the ones her sons/grandsons have married. Treats them AWFUL. Even treats her own daughter twrribly. And the way she talks about his mother is awful too. We'll as he warned me she has started to be awful towards me and has said some nasty things about me for NO Reason.  Finally I told him I want nothing to do with her and want her to have no contact with our child, as close as he is with her he even said he understands,  agrees and respects that. Why would I subject my child to someone who makes everyone around them miserable? And even more so someone who talks about me like that? So she can say bad things about to to/around my son? No way.

[wife_and_mama2014]

He shouldn't be making you feel that way. It's not fair for him to make you feel like you should hate your parents. If in your heart you forgive them and want to move past it all, that's exactly what you should do. They're family. Everyone needs their family and should have them in their lives. He cares about you and is being protective, but also selfish at the same time. I'd have a serious talk with him. Tell him even though he disagrees and doesn't understand, he needs to accept what YOU want. That you want your family involved. He doesn't have  to like them or even get along with them, but he needs to respect that you want to have a relationship with them. And that your baby should know it's grandparents.

[RayJackson]

it's getting to the point where I feel like I'm being punished for mistakes they have made. I feel like I'm being forced to be upset and forced to hate them and forced to be by myself because I honestly don't even feel like I have him any longer now because of this. I'm slowly giving up on everything I used to believe in, myself, our relationship,  our baby... it's hurts to say but it feels so true. I am giving up and it's not fair. it doesn't feel fair at all

[wife_and_mama2014]

You are not wrong. It sounds like your parents made mistakes. EVERY parent makes mistakes. The important thing is that they're trying hard to make up for it now, as they should be. He needs to grow up a bit and understand that this is a good thing, not a bad thing. They're your family. He should not be trying to make you choose and put you in that situation. It's not right.