Aa
can't
Is anyone else really sick of the word can't? I'm not saying like what you can and can't do pregnant: I'm talking labor and after you have the baby. Do you know how many times I was told that I wouldn't be able to have a natural birth? I planned for it for months but usually got some variant of "Oh you want to go natural. How cute. Well, when you can't, aren't you glad there are epidurals?" Women have given birth naturally for thousands of years. What makes our generation not be able to in the eyes of even medical professionals?
It's the same thing with breastfeeding. How many women say going into it: "I CAN DO THIS! " ? Not very many. Missy people (myself included before I had my first child) go into it saying, "I'm going to try, but if I can't... boy I'm sure glad formula is a safe alternative."
I'm tired of can't! Does anyone else have things they were told they CAN'T do that you've done in spite of everyone saying can't?
Please share below n
It's the same thing with breastfeeding. How many women say going into it: "I CAN DO THIS! " ? Not very many. Missy people (myself included before I had my first child) go into it saying, "I'm going to try, but if I can't... boy I'm sure glad formula is a safe alternative."
I'm tired of can't! Does anyone else have things they were told they CAN'T do that you've done in spite of everyone saying can't?
Please share below n
Ohh alrighty I get what you're saying, guess I just misunderstood the post. But I agree! Women shouldn't be told they can't do anything. We are CLEARLY the stronger gender in every way hahaha. Men couldn't handle child birth I believe and we are mentally stronger! We can accomplish anything we believe we can.
Tell her to contact la leche league. I've luckily never needed a support like that: my mom breastfed all of us and my sister and sis in law were both breastfeeding their little ones when I delivered. But from everything I've read and heard, they are fantastic and can give you a lot of confidence.
@doulamommy thank you! I've told her to tell her doctor what she wants! We are due about a month apart so I'm going to try to convince her to breastfeed
Go calico236!
That's not stubbornness, it's will power! We need to hear more CAN stories! We're all pregnant I'm sure we've all heard horror stories of how bad labor hurt or a bad epidural or emergency section. What is the most positive birth story you've heard/experienced?
That's not stubbornness, it's will power! We need to hear more CAN stories! We're all pregnant I'm sure we've all heard horror stories of how bad labor hurt or a bad epidural or emergency section. What is the most positive birth story you've heard/experienced?
@lilnbuttonsmom
Tell her to get a second opinion! Usually the reasons you have a c section just aren't therein subsequent pregnancies. She should be able to have a vbac. And just because she didn't breastfeed get first two doesn't mean she won't be able to breastfeed this baby unless there was something literally wrong with her milk production.
I read a really inspiring story of a woman who was determined to breastfeed, but the nurse misread her chart and gave her a shot to dry her milk up. It took several weeks and lots of hard work, but she was eventually able to exclusively breastfeed her baby when medically speaking it was impossible.
Tell her to get a second opinion! Usually the reasons you have a c section just aren't therein subsequent pregnancies. She should be able to have a vbac. And just because she didn't breastfeed get first two doesn't mean she won't be able to breastfeed this baby unless there was something literally wrong with her milk production.
I read a really inspiring story of a woman who was determined to breastfeed, but the nurse misread her chart and gave her a shot to dry her milk up. It took several weeks and lots of hard work, but she was eventually able to exclusively breastfeed her baby when medically speaking it was impossible.
With God all things are possible. And yes I agree with you on this completely im sick of hearing ppl be like oh you wont go natural. You're crazy it hurts so bad. Like stfu duh it hurts you're pushing a human body out of your vagina. But its natural and im not gonna let them drug me out or any of that other human made crap. Im gonna do it the way God made it. Natural. And im going to breast feed and wont give up or stop. Im due in nine days and can't wait to hold my little boy in my arms and breast feed him and be his mother.
The thing is... until you're in labor you dint know what you personally can and can't do, but if you go into the delivery room with CAN'T ringing in your mind, then you probably can't. The most important thing you can do to prepare for delivery is to learn to say can. You can be a total wimp with no pain tolerance and still deliver naturally if you and your partner and your doctor all believe you CAN. You can have a high pain tolerance and end up with an epidural if there is any CAN'T in your room. My biggest struggle was getting myself and my hubby to believe in can.
I love this post! lol my bfs sister is having her 3rd kid and her doctor told her she can't try for a vbac and that she probably won't be able to breastfeed bc she didn't do it with the other 2!
YES.
My doctors have told me my whole life I'd never have a natural birth. Never get pregnant. Never be able to have a normal pregnancy. Except for my GP. Mostly because he knows how stubborn I am.
I plan 100% no exceptions on having a natural birth.
No meds, nothing. As long as my life or baby's life are not in serious danger, that's how I want it.
And I also plan on exclusively breastfeeding. I understand it can be hard. But I've been doing a LOT of reading about ways to make it easier for you and baby and to not give up.
Too many people these days are so fast to quit.
And I plan on cloth diapering too! I have no idea what I'm doing! No one in my family has ever used cloth diapers but I am determined.
Too many excuses now a days.
My doctors have told me my whole life I'd never have a natural birth. Never get pregnant. Never be able to have a normal pregnancy. Except for my GP. Mostly because he knows how stubborn I am.
I plan 100% no exceptions on having a natural birth.
No meds, nothing. As long as my life or baby's life are not in serious danger, that's how I want it.
And I also plan on exclusively breastfeeding. I understand it can be hard. But I've been doing a LOT of reading about ways to make it easier for you and baby and to not give up.
Too many people these days are so fast to quit.
And I plan on cloth diapering too! I have no idea what I'm doing! No one in my family has ever used cloth diapers but I am determined.
Too many excuses now a days.
I agree doulamomma! Who knows what's going to be wrong with us 20 years from now! All, this medicine people are being given for every little thing. I'm all for medicine when necessary but holy cow . It's all about money now unfortunately!
I hate it to! The other day one of my cousins made a comment that if she couldn't go natural then I'm not going to be able to! I was like Wtf that's you not me! Haha. She also said she took it like a champ! Lol if she was taking it like a champ then why did she need the meds!?!? Lol.. anyways yea I hate when people say things like that. I try to just laugh about it though, its better to laugh about it then get mad :))
Im thankful kaiser is a big believer on breastfeeding and they try to push it on to every new mom.. I want to breastfeed as well tho but a nurse warned me that they are big on pushing breastfeeding. I am planning on no pain meds till pain is unbearable.. I have a high pain tolerance tattoos piercings etc buttttt ive never delivered so that can be totally different lol
Way to go GeekMom1213!
That is inspiring. You CAN do what's important to you, whether it's natural child birth, breastfeeding, pumping and bottle feeding, formula feeding, or finishing your education/continuing your career! Thanks for the share.
That is inspiring. You CAN do what's important to you, whether it's natural child birth, breastfeeding, pumping and bottle feeding, formula feeding, or finishing your education/continuing your career! Thanks for the share.
I repeated a mantra when I was pregnant with my son. Reminding myself that I am strong and capable and healthy and my body can do this. If my mom could do it so could I. There was no reason ever to give up on believing in myself and so I didn't ever give up. I had a successful natural birth, continued breastfeeding for two full years while going to college full time until a medical issue forced me to stop, and have cloth diapered him full time to this day. I'm now a college graduate and a registered nurse, which people told me I'd never be able to manage with a toddler in the house. If you believe in yourself you gotta work harder than you ever have in your life but you can do it.
@Retro_Raven
My point is that we need to stop telling each other can't and that when a woman wants to breastfeed and is told CAN'T that it *****. If you choose to bottle feed the great thing is that you CAN. We all need to stop saying can't to each other.
My point is that we need to stop telling each other can't and that when a woman wants to breastfeed and is told CAN'T that it *****. If you choose to bottle feed the great thing is that you CAN. We all need to stop saying can't to each other.
One thing I really can't stand is women bashing other women regardless of whether it is about breastfeeding or any other form of parenting, some people do say can't and my advice is get over it and worry about yourself! Everybody is entitled to do what is suitable for them and do not need other women making them feel bad about it, don't even get me started on the breast is best brigade of women who love to put massive guilt trips on other mums for not breastfeeding when it reality it has got nothing to do with them and who are they to make any mother doubt themselves over how they choose to raise and feed their own child. I am not planning on having an epidural based on the fact I simply don't want one but I will never bash another women for choosing to have one if they CANT handle it anymore what gives me that right.
Back at you @Channi7!
You CAN do it! That was the purpose for this post. You CAN!
You CAN do it! That was the purpose for this post. You CAN!
@shinieshoes
I agree while heartedly with you about that. Diagnosing mental disorders has made huge leaps in the past fifty years or so. BUT I also agree that we don't fully understand the effects of all the drugs we use well enough.
Just so people don't think I'm bashing: I think the epidural is a wonderful invention that really is necessary in some cases, as is a safe c-section. I just think too many women are told CAN'T before they get a chance to decide what the they really want.
I agree while heartedly with you about that. Diagnosing mental disorders has made huge leaps in the past fifty years or so. BUT I also agree that we don't fully understand the effects of all the drugs we use well enough.
Just so people don't think I'm bashing: I think the epidural is a wonderful invention that really is necessary in some cases, as is a safe c-section. I just think too many women are told CAN'T before they get a chance to decide what the they really want.
That's Fantastic!!! I Hope I Have A Similar Experience. I Don't Want Ppl Shoving It Down My Throat Or Saying "If U Don't Get It Now It's Gonna Be Too Late" I Think Sometimes That Makes Mommies Second Guess Themselves And Their bodies' Capabilities. I Plan To Let My Body Do What It Was Naturally Designed To Do. Good Luck To All Of U Ladies!!!
My pediatrician said that autism has always been prevalent. They just finally gave it a name. In the old days the person would just be considered "not right" or "retarded" or " off in the head". He's been a pediatrician for over 40 years! He doesn't think it's related to pitocin or epidurals. Just a nifty bit of information....
@channi7
I got told by a good friend when I was on my way to the hospital that I wouldn't be able to go natural. Well guess what: my birth wasn't pretty. I tore really bad and pushed for over two hours. But the E word wasn't even uttered by the nurses, one of whom was the only person other than my midwife who let me know that I could do it.
I got told by a good friend when I was on my way to the hospital that I wouldn't be able to go natural. Well guess what: my birth wasn't pretty. I tore really bad and pushed for over two hours. But the E word wasn't even uttered by the nurses, one of whom was the only person other than my midwife who let me know that I could do it.
I agree.
I am going all natural, I'm a first time mommy so I'm extra paranoid & hear, see, & read about all the effects from the drugs that women get during labor.. In MY opinion its quite selfish knowing what could happen but still taking the chance for your own sake, which the pain will be over after.. & I am breastfeeding.
I know people who said they couldn't breast feed out of 2 or 3 days of trying.. It upsets me.
I am going all natural, I'm a first time mommy so I'm extra paranoid & hear, see, & read about all the effects from the drugs that women get during labor.. In MY opinion its quite selfish knowing what could happen but still taking the chance for your own sake, which the pain will be over after.. & I am breastfeeding.
I know people who said they couldn't breast feed out of 2 or 3 days of trying.. It upsets me.
@armywife93
I'm not trying to bash the moms who try so hard and things just go wrong. I think that's really sad. But I think that we as women hear CAN'T too much and internalize it. It starts when we're kids and we hear that we CAN'T be good at math or sports or something because we're girls. Then if we end up not excelling at math or sports, we have a reason. We CAN'T.
Then as teens: you CAN'T steady date without "messing up" (or is that only in Utah? ) but you also CAN'T date a lot of guys or you're labeled a tramp. You CAN'T be pretty unless you are skinny and have perfect hair and skin, but you CAN'T diet or you're considered to be anorexic even if you aren't.
All of it plays into adulthood where we're told we CAN'T do the things our bodies are designed to do. It makes me sick that we believe these things about ourselves. Women are strong and beautiful and we CAN DO it!
I'm not trying to bash the moms who try so hard and things just go wrong. I think that's really sad. But I think that we as women hear CAN'T too much and internalize it. It starts when we're kids and we hear that we CAN'T be good at math or sports or something because we're girls. Then if we end up not excelling at math or sports, we have a reason. We CAN'T.
Then as teens: you CAN'T steady date without "messing up" (or is that only in Utah? ) but you also CAN'T date a lot of guys or you're labeled a tramp. You CAN'T be pretty unless you are skinny and have perfect hair and skin, but you CAN'T diet or you're considered to be anorexic even if you aren't.
All of it plays into adulthood where we're told we CAN'T do the things our bodies are designed to do. It makes me sick that we believe these things about ourselves. Women are strong and beautiful and we CAN DO it!
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Pregnancy Community
Get information and tips on how to help you choose the right place to deliver your baby.
Get the facts on how twins and multiples are formed and your chance of carrying more than one baby at a time.
Learn about the risks and benefits of circumcision.
What to expect during the first hours after delivery.
Learn about early screening and test options for your pregnancy.
Learn about testing and treatment for GBS bacterium.
