ftm and and so lost

[tylersmommy89]

my sons father just recently told me he wishes i would have aborted my son in the beginning. I am almost 32 weeks and I don't know what I should do. he doesn't want to pay child support, but he still wants to be involved in his life. I told him he will be paying child support if he wants to be involved and he keeps saying that he can't afford things for himself or for his other son. he hasn't helped me but anything and since i moved out, he hasn't been to a single appt and I have to force him to ask how things went. I'm giving my son my last name and I can't decide if I want to put his dad on the birth certificate. he claims he only wanted the abortion in the beginning because money would be tight,  but we were still together then. now that we aren't, he is pissed that I am taking him to court for child support. what would you ladies do?

[lexseababymomma]

And it's not always true about giving him rights. I'm going to make sure my bd rights are terminated and I'll still be getting child support. He's unfit and smokes weed all day and has time to party but not help me in anyway in the pregnancy. So I can get him for abandonment- because there is such a thing as a man being held responsible during pregnancy, for illegally growing consuming, selling and growing pot and for multiple other things. AND if he does gets rights I can petition supervised ones. Therefore he can't go anywhere with my daughter unless I'm there.

[lexseababymomma]

Truthfully, anyone who says don't put him on child support isn't thinking straight. You're not being selfish. It's not like the money is for YOU. It's for your baby. And don't put him on the birth certificate or his last name. They'll ask for a paternity test. If he does acknowledge the baby then they'll go on with the child support and base it on his prior and current income. Even if he isn't even making a dollar. He will have to find a job because he still has a financial responsibility. I know because I'm already in the process of it and I haven't even delivered! My attorney said that if he denies the baby then they'll do a paternity and don't even have to replace the birth certificate to add him. My BD works 5.50 an hour waaaay below min wage and only puts in like 20 hours and he's still being forced to pay. And if he doesn't and get welfare they state will pay you and he has to pay them back. Or they'll use his truck and put a lien on it. Or they'll take it from his income. There's nothing on this planet that will excuse him unless you do. Because one day you"ll be handy dandy getting 30 dollars 50 dollars and that's not even enough for gas now a days. So make sure you have something secured monthly. Because you have 18 years of financial responsibility that you'll be excusing him for.

[tylersmommy89]

thank you so much ladies! I just don't understand how he can want to be a part of his other sons life, but not my sons life.

[stinaann93]

I wouldn't make him pay child support. If he's honest and says he can't, then I wouldn't. My husbands baby momma took 400+ from him a month and ended up with those children in a shelter!! We have them now and now have another on the way. If I had someone say that to me, I would NOT want them in my life or my children's life. They can miss out what they would have after an abortion. There's no reason for him to stick around. All it takes is for the child to find that out and his self esteem will skyrocket downhill.nonononono. ahh

[annat33]

My first daughters father took off on me when I was about 6 months and didn't hear from him at all. I was 17 so I had to deal with things on my own. Now I got a lot of support from my family but I also went to school and worked. I took care of my daughter and if he didn't want to be around her or in her life well fine I didn't want anything to do with him or his family they didn't deserveto be in her life I ddidn't want him there so I never persude child support cuz then they would give him rights and I didn't want him to have any! But that was my choice u do what u have to to take care of your son. Also like they said if u decide to get him for child support then make sure he doesn't have to be on the birth certificate.

[baby2014]

Oh well, he will have to get over it and pay child support anyway. I look at it like this if he doesn't want children then he needs to keep that baby making tool locked away in his pants. Tell him to abort his penis. Men are so disgusting these days. Abort the baby I can't afford it. To bad stop having sex if you don't want children. And stop forcing women to abort their children. The man doesn't have to deal with the grief and regret women go through and they don't have to deal with a chance of infertility if something goes wrong. Men have no heart for human life in these days and times. Make him pay child support he helped make the baby he can pay for the baby. Please feel free to tell him my opinion because he needs to know. Tell him to keep it locked away and stop trying to force women to take their children's lives because he doesn't want to be responsible.

[texxasbby13]

In order for him to pay child support he has to be listed on the birth certificate. I know this all to well because I didn't put my daughters dad on hers and in order to get child support they put him on the birth certificate!

[proudFTMTeTe]

Put him on child support u r goin to b raising the baby by ur self full time the least he can do is pay child support men have it so easy n then complain about taking care of their child financially its kills me they love making them but don't like takin care of them if he hasn't shown he is interested now he prolly want in the future so make sure he helps out in sum shape form or fashion make him by force #childsupport my fiance is here supporting me thru every thing n the state is still makin him get on child support n he knows but doesn't complain cuz its for his child

[rebecca_sasser]

According to what state u live in if the babt doesnt have the fathers last name and the fathets name isnt on the birth certificate they wont let you get hin for child support so i would check on that......sounds like hes a deadbeat to me........he doesnt deserve the title of father or dad........

[sdvargas]

Put him on child support! He is talking like that now so imagine when baby is here. He won't help then if he isn't now. You can put him on birth certificate easier way for you to get child support.

[tlynn289]

My daughters father wanted everything to do with my pregnancy (we weren't together) until I had her then he wanted nothing to do with her. I took him for chikd support and he was working maybe 20 hours a week at min wage (at the time 7.15) they made him pay $50 a month and I am telling you the little bit helped a lot! Take him to court every child deserves a chance at life they don't deserve to die because money will be tight. I was a teenage single mom for 5 years it was rough but I loved every single second

[19prego]

Take him to court ur money tight too we as women has to give up half our life cus were mothers but a men who we arent seeing anymore give up 1/3.. So sayin that put him on childsupport he doesnt have the right to pick and choose when to take care of his son.... If he anit doing **** now he wont in the future... And since yall arent together whi,h is good men would move on to the next girl and forget they have a son or daughter n u would regret putting him on childsupport.... Im puttin mines on it he doesnt know a month ago i went n his wallet got his SS# n i have his id. Information lol but if u let him sign the birth certificate n put him on childsupport the money comes right out of his check.... Look up how to get childsupport in ur area