no support from family on natural labor

[hiltonvslohan]

so i recently told my family that i am really set on a natural labor (but i am open to meds if i really need them) i got no positive words from anyone. everyone was saying yeah you just wait and we'll see etc. Yes i might not have a completly drug free natural birth but i want to try. they made me feel like they had no faith in my abilities and it really hurt my feelings. when im laboring and in pain i want someone to be there going its ok just breathe and rubbing my back and saying you can do this i know you can, not you really should just get the meds etc. how can i get them to understand that? i really need a support system to do this ya kno

[Manderella2]

Oh my gosh im having this issue too, they think since this is my first baby that I have no idea what im in for and I agree I have no idea what to expect but I really wanna try to do it naturally especially after watching the business of being born, but they say they dont think I can do it blah blah blah just makes me wanna show them that I can though. So I say lets prove them wrong!! :)

[gem111]

This is so difficult because everyone has different experiences in labour. One person to the next can have a more painful experience as there pain threshold is not so high. I would talk to your family and tell them you need there support and u want to have a birth plan set up that you will try to achieve, but also that u do understand things can happen. Good luck xx

[kellibubba]

as utgal said i also had a nautral labour with my daughter. My birth plan was to what the midwifes recommended more or less and everything went well and i didnt end up needing any pain relief. my labour was only 4 hours but all through my pregnancy i drank raspberry leaf tea which is meant to shorten and condition your uturas for labour.. With me it worked.
I panted through the pain and even when my crvix only dialated to 6 cm and the midwifes had to strech the lip over her head i didnt request any pain relief. It can be done and i found it helped me recover quicker.

if your family wont support you im sure if you tell you midwife team during the labour they would be more than happy to help you work through it.

Good luck hunny

[utgal]

Sorry the end got cut off. *first. I hope that helps and good luck to you I hope things work out for you the way you want.

[utgal]

I am sorry to hear that you don't have the support from the loved ones around you, but I would like to offer mine. I think that you are capable of making this decision you have obviously thought it through and you know what you want and what is best for you. I also think that you deciding to have a natural labor is a wonderful decision but you are being smart by not completely ruling out the option for meds you never know what will happen but you won't know that you can have a wonderful natural experience if you don't try. From my own experience going natural was better. With our first child I had the epidural and my back hurt for days following I had a longer labor, the recovery was longer just because my lower half was still numb I couldn't just get up and move around, and our baby was very groggy after, which they get worn out from delivery but the nurses told me that he was even more so due to the epidural. With our last two I went natural at the time of delivery it did hurt a lot more but after I was able to get right up move around my back didn't hurt the recovery time was significantly less and both times our little ones were more alert than our fir

[hiltonvslohan]

my fiance is supportive but doesnt fully understand how much support I'll truly need. yes my family will be there through out the labor but not for delivery

[AnnieBrooke]

Find a birth partner who will support you.  Your family is not going to be in the room with you anyway, right?  After this, I'd ask them to stay out until everything is done.

[hiltonvslohan]

thank you very much :) yes i know things happen and thats why i do have an open mind if things do not go as i plan. i just know it will be hard and i just want some positive reinforcement. i plan on BF as well. they're atleast supportive of that. BF is a long process and can be very hard at times from what i know so kudos to you for being brave enough to practically go it alone! :) have they gotten any better now that theyve seen it done etc?

[trying43]

well, you probably cant change their minds.  I would tell them what works for you may not be whats best fo me and I would really appreciate support not criticism and its not up for debate. Its your birth experience not theirs. And you being open to meds is realistic, you never know what will happen.  With my first son I wanted to go the all natural route but due to circumstances beyond my control, I had to do meds and epidural.  My second son, a little shot of nubain, no epidural.  This one I hope to again do no epidural.  My family members and dh family thought I has the plague when I told them I planned on breastfeeding(bf both my sons sucessfully and plan to again with this one) because none of them ever did that so I got no support or help there either so I understand being upset and not feeling supported.   Good luck and I hope you have the perfect all natural experience you want!